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what is your Nada's reasons for cutting out Step- Grandmother?

>

> So, my NADA's stepmother - my wonderful, healthy-minded grandmother -

> is now feeling the wrath of my NADA. NADA (and my enabling father

along

> with her) has completely cut off all communication with my

grandmother.

> I know this as standard NADA behavior, but my grandmother seems

> confused and surprised by it. She keeps saying that it saddens her

and

> that she doesn't know what she did to deserve it. I explained BPD to

> her, but I don't think she really understood. I recommended the

> Eggshells book, though it's unlikely she read it (and I won't be

> pushier about it.) Is there anything I can/should say/do? It

frustrates

> me that NADA is succeeding at making yet another family member feel

> lousy.

>

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You can't be the bandaid for everyone. All you can do is encourage your

step-grandmother to read the books we all have read, and when she asks questions

answer them honestly. It has taken most of us a long, long time to figure out

things about BPD's, and I think I can say that every day is a learning process

when you are dealing with BPD. Good luck!!

Janie

imbernadette wrote:

what is your Nada's reasons for cutting out Step- Grandmother?

>

> So, my NADA's stepmother - my wonderful, healthy-minded grandmother -

> is now feeling the wrath of my NADA. NADA (and my enabling father

along

> with her) has completely cut off all communication with my

grandmother.

> I know this as standard NADA behavior, but my grandmother seems

> confused and surprised by it. She keeps saying that it saddens her

and

> that she doesn't know what she did to deserve it. I explained BPD to

> her, but I don't think she really understood. I recommended the

> Eggshells book, though it's unlikely she read it (and I won't be

> pushier about it.) Is there anything I can/should say/do? It

frustrates

> me that NADA is succeeding at making yet another family member feel

> lousy.

>

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My reasons? Do you mean my nada's reasons? My experience is that a

person with BPD loves you one moment and hates you the next. There

are no reasons per se.

> >

> > So, my NADA's stepmother - my wonderful, healthy-minded

grandmother -

> > is now feeling the wrath of my NADA. NADA (and my enabling father

> along

> > with her) has completely cut off all communication with my

> grandmother.

> > I know this as standard NADA behavior, but my grandmother seems

> > confused and surprised by it. She keeps saying that it saddens

her

> and

> > that she doesn't know what she did to deserve it. I explained BPD

to

> > her, but I don't think she really understood. I recommended the

> > Eggshells book, though it's unlikely she read it (and I won't be

> > pushier about it.) Is there anything I can/should say/do? It

> frustrates

> > me that NADA is succeeding at making yet another family member

feel

> > lousy.

> >

>

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You're right. And yes, she does know I'm here. I guess that's why she

shares with me her feelings about it all.

Thanks!

>

> True -- but don't discount the fact that she has lived to

> grandmotherhood and is " healthy " -- so she probably will look for

> ways to handle the situation. She's survived into this stage of

> live with her health intact for a reason!

>

> She knows you're there for support.

>

> -Kkyla

>

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