Rent

[Guest guest]

Last night I went to see the movie Rent. I have to share my Rent

story here because I hope that it will touch at least some of you.

10 years ago when Rent first hit Broadway I was working in Theatre.

Rent was the big buzz and we played the music during rehersals etc..

I had not seen it, but it was close to me because we shared the

music. It was during this time when my illness had gotten so bad

that I was first experiencing days when I could not get out of bed

or take care of my baby. It was also at this time that my career as

an actress came to an extremely abrubt halt when my 10 month old son

was ambulanced to the hospital on the opening night of my show. I

was literally pulled offstage to be escorted to the hospital where

he spent the next 5 days in ICU. I have never, since that moment,

performed as an actress again.

Last year I was invited to go see the traveling production of Rent

when it came to town. I watched it in awe and cried through the

majority of the show. The themes in Rent are of living with AIDS and

dying among friends. It is about seizing each day as it comes and

suffering together with unconditional love. I related to the show on

so many levels. I felt myself dying and not living my life to the

fullest. I became accutely aware of how much I missed my life as an

actress and of how much time has been wasted lying on the couch. It

was almost more than I could take to watch the characters suffering

and yet still enjoying each moment they have left.

Last night we went an saw the movie version. It is the 10th

anniversary of the original Broadway release. By the time the

credits were rolling I was curled up in a ball sobbing uncontrolably

in the middle of the theatre. I have come through my illness and I

am learning to enjoy life again. I can dance again just like Mimi. I

can look forward to acting again. I have moments of inspiration just

like Rodger, and I have lost so many people and so much in my life

just like Tom. I have too much in common with this cast of

characters, most of whom are dying from AIDS.

The music from Rent is wonderful! If you have no interest in seeing

it I urge you to at least get ahold of a copy of the song Seasons of

Love and listen to the lyrics closely. It is an inspiration about

living each and every minute of your life to the fullest. It is also

about celebrating the life of someone you have lost. I think on some

level we can all truly relate to this musical, maybe more so than

the average moviegoer.

I will be playing this music over and over again to remind myself of

what I have left to accomplish, and of how I have regained the

ability to make it all happen!

Love,