Guest guest Posted August 26, 2005 Report Share Posted August 26, 2005 Hi there, I have just signed up so please forgive any faux pas. I am just coming to suspect that my mother has BPD. I won't go into all the things she does or this email will be pages long (I'm 47 and she has been difficult for as long as I can remember). Suffice to say that what I have read about BPD explains a lot. I used to cope by the simple expedient of geographical distance, but 7 years ago she moved to my town. This has been difficult and my husband thinks the situation is getting worse (ie both her behaviour and the way I get sucked in). The latest manifestation of her behaviour is making up stories where she is the victim. She told my sister that my dad (now dead) couldn't walk past her without kicking her (sister was young when they split up) and that she had lived all her life with alcoholics (which would mean that my grandfather and father were alcoholics which I'm kind of sure is not true, but then I find that she starts to umdermine my memories). She told me that my brother wasn't talking to her when I know that he had called her a few days before and offered to help with a bill she was worried about. I think it's called divide and rule. Anyway, I have spent most of my adult life ricocheting from anger to guilt. I have no boundaries, to the extent that I think I know what she is going to do to sabotage a given situation and am usually right. I have come close to saying 'that's it' and severing contact, but I don't want to do that. Despite everything I do love her and want to help her. But I know I can't help her and it makes me really, really sad. If anybody has any tips or suggestions for dealing with this dilemma and moving on, I would be thrilled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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