Calendar and learning the mundane stuff was/Re: Limits on video games?

[Guest guest]

Greg, I really like your idea. Our therapist suggested a goal directed calendar

for Jay, as if he does not have someone holding a whip (boss, doctor, an

obligation, I don't count though haha), he flounders.

He HATES unstructured time. An example, his days are his. He has a horrible time

coming up with his own " mundane non work related " list. Jay functioned great at

work.

He is filing for SSDI (required by disability insurance). The lawyer asked Jay

what does at home

-some bill paying

- " works " on the computer-mostly messing around on blogs, whatever, I don't know.

Then he asked Jay, no, who does the cooking cleaning, child care, housekeeping,

garbage, does your wife do all of that? Do you motivate yourself to start any of

that on your own?

Jay said, " No. It is overwhelming. I can't figure out what to do myself. "

The lawyer looked at me. Yeah, I know the guy can tell you about black holes and

the average income of a person during the great depression, but doing laundry

gives him an anxiety.

I do not know why simple tasks completely unravel him. I don't micro manage.

I've never complained about him doing something wrong (mostly because he never

does anything on his own).

Jay attempting laundry (his own clothes)

1. Carry clothes down

2. Stand looking at machine

3. Trying not to panic over water temp settings/load size (we have a very basic

machine)

4. Panic over how much soap to use

5. The " timer " regular or delicate?

6. Between the anxiety/not wanting to ask, put clothes on floor, then come up

stairs to ask me if the clothes are piled up " okay " .

My 6 year old knows how to do laundry. Soap to the 1st line. Temp is always cold

(for her to do the laundry, can't shrink stuff), Load size: Large. Turn dial to

regular. Pull out. (How to run the machine instructions are on the inside of

lid)

This is beyond Jay.

Last week, DD took the clothes out of his hands and put them in the washer. Did

the soap etc. Jay said that was horrible because now there was another variable

(DD), doing something he was blanking out on.

I need suggestions. Teaching a kid is one thing. How do you teach a 50 year old

AS, something like clothes washing? I've showed him probably 15 times, but it

doesn't " sink in " --can't think of another way of saying it.

When we were separated, he washed his clothes in the tub with dish soap, so no,

me not being there wouldn't " inspire " him to do it.

Nanci