Guest guest Posted November 28, 2005 Report Share Posted November 28, 2005 My husband is angry with the money part of this and I am sure that is his fuel for his anger. He married me with the implants already in and neither he nor myself had any idea that it would be so costly and I also think he is worried on other levels too but the money is the driving force right now. Unfortunetly he is taking it out and blaming me, and it is getting worse and meaner everyday. I need him bad right now for support because my breasts have been my insecurity for years and years. My mom was the first person to really make fun of me for being so flat chested and I had a full 32A to small B cup. Then my first husband had several affairs and he even bragged about the women and how great their " tits " were, so my insecurity is deep and my husband KNOWS this. Also he is the only friend or family I have here, we are military and move so much that I never have time to make friends with someone I trust enough to confide in. I am losing my hair too and that is playing on my self- esteem as well.I have lost well over 50% of my hair but not patchy bald spots just evenly all over and with little regrowth. By the way I am only 32 years old. > > Oh my gosh -- please do not allow implants to be the basis for your > existence!!!!! You have SO much more than that -- and 100% of it does not > have anything to do with a false, fake product stuck under your skin!!!!! You > have to realize that. If your husband does not understand that -- and > values something like implants more than yourself -- then, he should not be in > your life. You need to find something more in your life..... > > I was explanted a year ago - and my gosh....I feel SO stupid that I allowed > something like a breast augmentation to give me what I thought I needed. I > was so far from the truth. I don't have much now - but, I feel so much > better. > > Just last week I had a mammogram -- routine one. Actually, the first one > since explantation. The technician was telling me how that had to have been > the best thing I did. She kept saying how they wish women with implants could > understand how mammography just doesn't work with implants. They can't > really see anything - but the implants! > > I'm now in my mid 40's - and maybe that has something to do with it - I got > implants when I was in my early 20's -- so I blame a lot of it on just being > young. I'm curious how old you are? If you don't mind my asking!!! > > Kate > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2005 Report Share Posted November 29, 2005 , Insecurity is an issue you can learn to deal with and win! This is one area that God totally healed me of. I think I know what you are feeling. I think most of the women here do, because probably many of us got implants due to the insecurity we felt about our breasts or their size. It used to be the one thing that the devil had a hilarious time with in taunting me, and winning time and time again. But no more! Once you recognize the tricks that are used to play upon your mind, and learn to be victorious over them, you will be able to fight this thing and win. What you have to do is recognize the lies. And one of the lies is that your boobs have anything to do at all with your self-worth. They don't. There are lots of other lies we tend to believe that have nothing to do with the truth. The way to fight against a lie is with the truth. The truth is that God made you perfect the way you are. Your breast size is common amongst women....COMMON! There are small breasted women all over this planet, and breast implants to " fix " small breasts is an American idea...a perversion of the real thing. There are many gorgeous women with small breasts, there are millions of women that are sexy with small breasts, and there are many men who PREFER small breasts. Small breasts were God's idea and there's nothing wrong with them at all. I don't like to degrade a human being, but it sounds to me like you are way better off without your first husband anyway, aren't you? He obviously didn't appreciate what he had, and that is a reflection on HIM, not you. You were the one who had more character than he did. Men who cheat on their wives are losers (they definitely need prayer!), especially if they rub it in. I can't say anything about your current husband, but I would just pray that you would find the strength to get through this difficult time, and recognize when the words said are unfair and how to blunt the blows with gentle truths instead. , don't believe any of the lies that come from insecure feelings. When those feelings come, fight them with the truth that you are a special person, created in God's image and with His pleasure. Remember that man's idea of beauty is fickle and fleeting, and men and women cause each other much pain over non- important issues. It is just simply impossible to please all people at all times, and one of the truths we have to learn is that we are okay, we are okay as we are, no matter what put downs other people choose to fling at us. A man who truly loves you will learn to love at all times, through all things because he loves your heart. The heart holds all that we really are. You can be strong, ! You really are a very, very special person! Hugs, Patty > > > > Oh my gosh -- please do not allow implants to be the > basis for your > > existence!!!!! You have SO much more than that -- and 100% of it > does not > > have anything to do with a false, fake product stuck under your > skin!!!!! You > > have to realize that. If your husband does not understand that -- > and > > values something like implants more than yourself -- then, he > should not be in > > your life. You need to find something more in your life..... > > > > I was explanted a year ago - and my gosh....I feel SO stupid that > I allowed > > something like a breast augmentation to give me what I thought I > needed. I > > was so far from the truth. I don't have much now - but, I feel > so much > > better. > > > > Just last week I had a mammogram -- routine one. Actually, the > first one > > since explantation. The technician was telling me how that had to > have been > > the best thing I did. She kept saying how they wish women with > implants could > > understand how mammography just doesn't work with implants. They > can't > > really see anything - but the implants! > > > > I'm now in my mid 40's - and maybe that has something to do with > it - I got > > implants when I was in my early 20's -- so I blame a lot of it on > just being > > young. I'm curious how old you are? If you don't mind my > asking!!! > > > > Kate > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2005 Report Share Posted November 29, 2005 Thank you for your kind words and support. Lord knows I need the support right now. Women are so different then men in how we handle things and I think with all my insecurity it is just killing my marriage.My husband swears up and down that breast size doesn't matter to him and I am just havng the hardest time believeing him. I want to believe him but something inside me is not allowing me to trust in his love and it is really causing heartache. I am not trying to defend his remarks because they really hurt, but I am trying to say that I may be causing some of these feelings he is having. I really hope things get better but it is so hard to face a surgery when there is a year of adjustment following the surgery...I have had about all the stress in my life that I can handle. I am so glad I have this board to post to you ladies or I would surely be seriously depressed. HUGS, > > > > > > Oh my gosh -- please do not allow implants to be the > > basis for your > > > existence!!!!! You have SO much more than that -- and 100% of > it > > does not > > > have anything to do with a false, fake product stuck under your > > skin!!!!! You > > > have to realize that. If your husband does not understand > that -- > > and > > > values something like implants more than yourself -- then, he > > should not be in > > > your life. You need to find something more in your life..... > > > > > > I was explanted a year ago - and my gosh....I feel SO stupid > that > > I allowed > > > something like a breast augmentation to give me what I thought > I > > needed. I > > > was so far from the truth. I don't have much now - but, I feel > > so much > > > better. > > > > > > Just last week I had a mammogram -- routine one. Actually, the > > first one > > > since explantation. The technician was telling me how that had > to > > have been > > > the best thing I did. She kept saying how they wish women with > > implants could > > > understand how mammography just doesn't work with implants. > They > > can't > > > really see anything - but the implants! > > > > > > I'm now in my mid 40's - and maybe that has something to do with > > it - I got > > > implants when I was in my early 20's -- so I blame a lot of it > on > > just being > > > young. I'm curious how old you are? If you don't mind my > > asking!!! > > > > > > Kate > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2005 Report Share Posted November 29, 2005 , My husband's previous marriage failed because of his ex-wife's insecurities. Hearing him discuss his frustrations with her actions and what she said and did opened my eyes to some of the same things that I could be prone to doing. It really was an eye opener, and I was determined not to reveal my insecurities to him, and to overcome those lies with the truth. I was determined to be the best wife I could be! As so many women have said, it is confidence in ourselves that men fall in love with and make us so attractive. We need to believe that! It is not arrogance, but a self assuredness that we are okay and we are to be accepted for who we are because we are special. We have to walk in that belief! It is hard sometimes, but it will be a healthy thing to learn to do. That brings us right back to the idea that we are special because God has made us that way, and He loves us with this amazing, complete and unfailing love....even if nobody else were to treat us as special, we can hold our head high knowing that the God of the universe thinks we are! This is what that spiritual healing is all about. It is in knowing that we are okay. Girl, you are okay! Please stop being so hard on yourself! I think we tend to focus on all our negatives, and then we transfer our own negative feelings about ourselves into what the other person may be feeling. We think, I see something in me I don't like, so I know they see it and are as turned off by it as I am. That can be so far from the truth....! If your husband is telling you that he loves you just the way you are, you must fight against your own feelings that won't believe it, and accept that and embrace it. , I think this is really important for your marriage. It was for mine. Remember, out of all the women in the whole wide world, your husband picked you to marry. He saw something so special in you that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. I believe you guys can get through this...it's hard right now, but you will both grow in amazing ways as you get through this. You can fight these feelings of insecurity and win when you stand on truth! Hugs, Patty > > > > > > > > Oh my gosh -- please do not allow implants to be the > > > basis for your > > > > existence!!!!! You have SO much more than that -- and 100% of > > it > > > does not > > > > have anything to do with a false, fake product stuck under > your > > > skin!!!!! You > > > > have to realize that. If your husband does not understand > > that -- > > > and > > > > values something like implants more than yourself -- then, he > > > should not be in > > > > your life. You need to find something more in your life..... > > > > > > > > I was explanted a year ago - and my gosh....I feel SO stupid > > that > > > I allowed > > > > something like a breast augmentation to give me what I thought > > I > > > needed. I > > > > was so far from the truth. I don't have much now - but, I > feel > > > so much > > > > better. > > > > > > > > Just last week I had a mammogram -- routine one. Actually, > the > > > first one > > > > since explantation. The technician was telling me how that > had > > to > > > have been > > > > the best thing I did. She kept saying how they wish women > with > > > implants could > > > > understand how mammography just doesn't work with implants. > > They > > > can't > > > > really see anything - but the implants! > > > > > > > > I'm now in my mid 40's - and maybe that has something to do > with > > > it - I got > > > > implants when I was in my early 20's -- so I blame a lot of it > > on > > > just being > > > > young. I'm curious how old you are? If you don't mind my > > > asking!!! > > > > > > > > Kate > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2005 Report Share Posted November 29, 2005 I would add that it takes work. Patty mentions fighting - it is indeed that. When negative or self critical thoughts come to mind, you need to stop immediately and do some 'self talk'. In a sense, it is reprogramming our thoughts. This is one of the things that has come up repeatedly for me in therapy. I scoffed at it at first, but it works. Patty's talk about God making you perfect is such a self talk. I am no longer depressed, but I do suffer from fatigue and it gets me down. My therapist told me that when I have to lie down, instead of telling myslef I am sick again and doing nothing, reframe it - tell myslef this is an opportunity for me to re-energize my body. Listen to a tape - Bernie Siegel is good, about healing the body and mind. Make the most of these times that I need to lie down. This is a way I am taking care of my body. I am going to try this. The mind and body are so interlinked, that when we focus on healing and not sickness, we actually can improve our health. -- In , " glory2glory1401 " <glory2glory1401@y...> wrote: > > , > Insecurity is an issue you can learn to deal with and win! This is > one area that God totally healed me of. I think I know what you are > feeling. I think most of the women here do, because probably many > of us got implants due to the insecurity we felt about our breasts > or their size. It used to be the one thing that the devil had a > hilarious time with in taunting me, and winning time and time again. > But no more! Once you recognize the tricks that are used to play > upon your mind, and learn to be victorious over them, you will be > able to fight this thing and win. > > What you have to do is recognize the lies. And one of the lies is > that your boobs have anything to do at all with your self-worth. > They don't. There are lots of other lies we tend to believe that > have nothing to do with the truth. > > The way to fight against a lie is with the truth. > > The truth is that God made you perfect the way you are. Your breast > size is common amongst women....COMMON! There are small breasted > women all over this planet, and breast implants to " fix " small > breasts is an American idea...a perversion of the real thing. There > are many gorgeous women with small breasts, there are millions of > women that are sexy with small breasts, and there are many men who > PREFER small breasts. Small breasts were God's idea and there's > nothing wrong with them at all. > > I don't like to degrade a human being, but it sounds to me like you > are way better off without your first husband anyway, aren't you? > He obviously didn't appreciate what he had, and that is a reflection > on HIM, not you. You were the one who had more character than he > did. Men who cheat on their wives are losers (they definitely need > prayer!), especially if they rub it in. > > I can't say anything about your current husband, but I would just > pray that you would find the strength to get through this difficult > time, and recognize when the words said are unfair and how to blunt > the blows with gentle truths instead. > > , don't believe any of the lies that come from insecure > feelings. When those feelings come, fight them with the truth that > you are a special person, created in God's image and with His > pleasure. Remember that man's idea of beauty is fickle and > fleeting, and men and women cause each other much pain over non- > important issues. It is just simply impossible to please all people > at all times, and one of the truths we have to learn is that we are > okay, we are okay as we are, no matter what put downs other people > choose to fling at us. A man who truly loves you will learn to love > at all times, through all things because he loves your heart. The > heart holds all that we really are. > You can be strong, ! You really are a very, very special > person! > Hugs, > Patty > > > > > > > > > Oh my gosh -- please do not allow implants to be the > > basis for your > > > existence!!!!! You have SO much more than that -- and 100% of > it > > does not > > > have anything to do with a false, fake product stuck under your > > skin!!!!! You > > > have to realize that. If your husband does not understand > that -- > > and > > > values something like implants more than yourself -- then, he > > should not be in > > > your life. You need to find something more in your life..... > > > > > > I was explanted a year ago - and my gosh....I feel SO stupid > that > > I allowed > > > something like a breast augmentation to give me what I thought > I > > needed. I > > > was so far from the truth. I don't have much now - but, I feel > > so much > > > better. > > > > > > Just last week I had a mammogram -- routine one. Actually, the > > first one > > > since explantation. The technician was telling me how that had > to > > have been > > > the best thing I did. She kept saying how they wish women with > > implants could > > > understand how mammography just doesn't work with implants. > They > > can't > > > really see anything - but the implants! > > > > > > I'm now in my mid 40's - and maybe that has something to do with > > it - I got > > > implants when I was in my early 20's -- so I blame a lot of it > on > > just being > > > young. I'm curious how old you are? If you don't mind my > > asking!!! > > > > > > Kate > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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