Re: sis..

[Guest guest]

sis

I am sorry to hear of your hubby... unfortunately that is yet another thing we must deal with in this implant hell. broken relationships. Many have been there - I have seen it many times in my experience here... I have been lucky so far and I am grateful.

one thing that worked on my behalf is that he hated them (implants) anyways... many men have issues there. Also from the beginning I made him read the women's stories I found online..... that helped tremendously. He actually wanted to see my PS and demand he take them out he was so angry! he did not of course....

I can't offer much help other than to say that things happen for a reason.. that is hard I know. He may come around - have you showed him the proof online?

My hubby had a hard time from the beginning.... before I knew it was the implants.... he didn't understand why I always felt bad - was always sick - never wanted to do things, etc. we had a rough road for a while until I found the cause. This was early 2003 - my son was 1 1/2 and things were not perfect by far... I started getting sick right after our marriage in 2/99. Once I found the answer I took him there - he sat for hours reading the stories... after that he changed. He understood and has supported me ever since. That is what it took for him but all men are different. I just spoke to him of your email and he asked me to tell you this:

:

"it is very hard as a husband to understand these things.... the lack of energy, the constant illness and complaining... I didn't get it. Once I found the reason and had time to digest that it was real, you were really sick, your life was in danger, I understood. It didn't change the situation and it was still hard but it changed my mind set on what was really going on. I thought it was strange that one moment you are my healthy, happy, energetic wife and the next you are not. The doctors we not finding anything so I too thought maybe it was in your head... I am disgusted at what we found... now that I know the truth things are much better - I believe and understand.

Maybe this is what your hubby needs... maybe not. has offered many times to speak to husbands that do not want to believe it. He is a wonderful person for that - he wants to help. He wants implants to stop!

It saddens me deeply to know of your situation.... I wish I could be more help. all I can say is that he will either come around or not... sad but true. I think that were he to understand the situation fully and maybe speak to another person that has gone thru it then it may help him. he is having a rough time as well I am sure. We are at your service if needed... please try to get him involved in the FACTS.... Have him call here and speak to ... it may do wonders... he has "been there and done that" for sure!! He has 6 years experience indeed! Have him visit my webpage and read my story as well as see a pic of my moldy implants.... it may shed light... there is a ton of info and links as well as ALL my symptoms.

breastimplantawareness.org/shari.htm

I wish you the best and you will be in my thoughts for a hopeful ending of your suffering... the sooner you get them out the better - by the right doctor as well.

You may find that this rough patch in your marriage may make it stronger - it certainly has for me.

love

shari

[Guest guest]

Sis, I must have missed something. I didn't realize you were going

through problems with your husband through all of this. I am so

sorry to hear that. My first marriage ended when I became ill from

my implants. I am better off for it because now I havea wonderful

husband, but I can sympathize with having marital problems from

illness.

Yesterday my husband made a comment to me that blew me away. He has

been out of state for 7 days working on his uncles house. In 7 days

he had worked more than 72 hours, and that was without a day off

from the previous weeks work. Needless to say he is exhausted.

Yesterday morning he had the chance to read my letter from Dr.

Blais. Then as we were out running errands and he needed me to drive

because of his exhaustion he looked over at me and said, " Now I

think I know how you must have felt all those years, I am exhausted

and can't seem to get over it " . It was really neat to hear him say

that, even though he has always been so supportive.

No one truly understand what it is like unless they have lived it.

No matter what we say, no matter what we try to do, no one will " get

it " .

Love,

[Guest guest]

Thanks so much for your message, Shari. I appreciate your kind

words. I am hoping that my marriage survives, but on the same note

my husband is causing so much stress that at times I'd like to take

a vacation from him so that I can heal. I don't think I can heal

with the constant pressure from him to keep the house spotless, even

though I've been sick and depressed. The house being spotless is

really low on the list right now.

I had mine out two weeks ago, so I'm really glad to be rid of

them!! I had them for six months and my body went bonkers right

away. It's still going bonkers, probably because I went into the

explant surgery in bad shape, the explant surgery just weakened me

further. However, without the implants I am hoping that once I heal

from the explant surgery, my body will start to rebuild itself. I

originally went to my implanting surgeon's office crying and asking

him to remove them, but after finding this site I decided I wanted

Dr. Feng to remove them instead. Interestingly enough, someone else

was in the implanting surgeon's office the same day as me, crying,

complaining of immune type illness, begging him to remove them. A

woman who works in the implanting surgeon's office met me outside

and told me that she herself was deathly ill (she did NOT have

implants) and she recommended something called Reliv. It's a

powdered food supplement, and I'm curious about trying it. I don't

know if anyone has ever heard of it or used it, but supposedly it

has worked miracles on many women. Perhaps I'll be the group guinea

pig and if it helps me at all, I'll let you know (unless someone

here has tried it and had problems). My body has always been

sensitive to vitamins and supplements, so I'm cautious about trying

anything at all, but I think I need alot more nourishment than I'm

currently getting.

Thanks again,

Sis

>

> sis

>

> I am sorry to hear of your hubby... unfortunately that is yet

another thing

> we must deal with in this implant hell. broken relationships.

Many have

> been there - I have seen it many times in my experience here... I

have been

> lucky so far and I am grateful.

>

> one thing that worked on my behalf is that he hated them

(implants)

> anyways... many men have issues there. Also from the beginning

I made him read the

> women's stories I found online..... that helped tremendously.

He actually

> wanted to see my PS and demand he take them out he was so angry!

he did not

> of course....

>

> I can't offer much help other than to say that things happen for a

reason..

> that is hard I know. He may come around - have you showed him the

proof

> online?

> My hubby had a hard time from the beginning.... before I knew it

was the

> implants.... he didn't understand why I always felt bad - was

always sick -

> never wanted to do things, etc. we had a rough road for a while

until I found

> the cause. This was early 2003 - my son was 1 1/2 and things

were not perfect

> by far... I started getting sick right after our marriage in

2/99. Once I

> found the answer I took him there - he sat for hours reading the

stories...

> after that he changed. He understood and has supported me ever

since. That is

> what it took for him but all men are different. I just spoke to

him of your

> email and he asked me to tell you this:

>

> :

> " it is very hard as a husband to understand these things.... the

lack of

> energy, the constant illness and complaining... I didn't get it.

Once I found

> the reason and had time to digest that it was real, you were

really sick, your

> life was in danger, I understood. It didn't change the situation

and it was

> still hard but it changed my mind set on what was really going

on. I

> thought it was strange that one moment you are my healthy, happy,

energetic wife

> and the next you are not. The doctors we not finding anything so

I too thought

> maybe it was in your head... I am disgusted at what we found...

now that I

> know the truth things are much better - I believe and understand.

>

> Maybe this is what your hubby needs... maybe not. has

offered many

> times to speak to husbands that do not want to believe it. He is

a wonderful

> person for that - he wants to help. He wants implants to stop!

>

> It saddens me deeply to know of your situation.... I wish I could

be more

> help. all I can say is that he will either come around or not...

sad but

> true. I think that were he to understand the situation fully and

maybe speak to

> another person that has gone thru it then it may help him. he is

having a

> rough time as well I am sure. We are at your service if

needed... please try

> to get him involved in the FACTS.... Have him call here and

speak to

> ... it may do wonders... he has " been there and done that "

for sure!! He has 6

> years experience indeed! Have him visit my webpage and read my

story as well

> as see a pic of my moldy implants.... it may shed light... there

is a ton

> of info and links as well as ALL my symptoms.

>

> breastimplantawareness.org/shari.htm

>

> I wish you the best and you will be in my thoughts for a hopeful

ending of

> your suffering... the sooner you get them out the better - by the

right doctor

> as well.

> You may find that this rough patch in your marriage may make it

stronger -

> it certainly has for me.

>

> love

> shari

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Yes, things haven't been good on the homefront since the implants

came to town. They haven't improved just yet, either, and I'm

hoping as my health improves and I get a job, that we can get back

on track. For many months I lived a life of quiet desperation,

because my husband did not want to hear that I was sick, and he

dismissed my concerns that it was the implants. Finally I made

plans on my own to have them removed, and he freaked out because he

was not part of the decision. Well, I was tired of waiting for him

to listen to me, and if he wasn't going to be part of the solution,

I had to find one on my own. He finally came around and I had the

surgery, but as the surgery approached he became pretty hostile

towards me, as if it was a huge burden to take time off work for

me. Even in the hotel room as I was healing, he was snapping at

me. I couldn't believe he had no compassion. What frightened me

the most was that when I really needed my husband the most, he

checked out emotionally, and was actually pretty cruel. I'm

learning that some men do that, they can't handle it, and their

reaction to being in pain is to shut down or lash out. Now that

we're home, he expects me to be 100% better right away and is angry

that the house isn't clean. I guess time will tell if things will

work out here, but for now I'm just concentrating on taking care of

myself and I'll figure out the rest in time.

Sis

>

> Sis, I must have missed something. I didn't realize you were going

> through problems with your husband through all of this. I am so

> sorry to hear that. My first marriage ended when I became ill from

> my implants. I am better off for it because now I havea wonderful

> husband, but I can sympathize with having marital problems from

> illness.

>

> Yesterday my husband made a comment to me that blew me away. He

has

> been out of state for 7 days working on his uncles house. In 7

days

> he had worked more than 72 hours, and that was without a day off

> from the previous weeks work. Needless to say he is exhausted.

> Yesterday morning he had the chance to read my letter from Dr.

> Blais. Then as we were out running errands and he needed me to

drive

> because of his exhaustion he looked over at me and said, " Now I

> think I know how you must have felt all those years, I am

exhausted

> and can't seem to get over it " . It was really neat to hear him say

> that, even though he has always been so supportive.

>

> No one truly understand what it is like unless they have lived it.

> No matter what we say, no matter what we try to do, no one

will " get

> it " .

>

> Love,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Rogene - you are so right, and he is one of those men who is

extremely uncomfortable when it comes to feelings. We haven't been

out with other couples in about a month - I'm thinking that

Thanksgiving might bring some normalcy back. Here's an interesting

twist, his first wife had silicones and got sick from them (but that

was AFTER they split up). She ended up taking painkillers and got

addicted to them, and that sent her down a terrible path. She's

still got some type of implants, though - not sure if she had the

leaking ones removed or not, but she's still got implants. No one

has ever mentioned them again, her addiction became the focal point -

so I don't know if the immune problems she had continued or what

happened there.

Sis

>

> Sis . . .

>

> Life has a way of turning around . . .

>

> Some men find facing their feeling very, very

> uncomfortable. . . Sometimes you can help ease them

> along with simple statements - avoid the personal

> messages though . . . Mentions of the pain others feel

> in various situations can be an eye opener. Spending

> time with other couples who have been there and

> survived is also helpful.

>

> In the meantime, your goals are great! Concentrate on

> getting better and finding your own way. If he doesn't

> see fit to keep up with you, he'll be the loser!

>

> Hugs and prayers,

>

> Rogene

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Kenda.

My husband owns his own business, and it can create an awful lot of

stress for him. He doesn't usually say if things are going well or

not, but it's true, if work is stressful then he brings it home.

Plus I think he feels like he never gets time to chill out because

we've got a big house with a big yard, and a million things to do.

He's a project kind of guy anyway, he creates alot of work for

himself because he was raised by a hard working family. I think he

feels like he lives to work, he never takes vacation time, and since

we bought the house he's always working on something around here on

his days off. Then on top of it, I lose my job, and then I get

sick. He's got a legal battle he's fighting, too, so I think he's

pretty well loaded up.

Sis

--- In , Kenda Skaggs <skaggs@c...>

wrote:

>

>

> Hi Sis,

>

> Is everything going well with your husband's job? The reason I

ask is that

> I can tell exactly how my husband's business is doing by the way

he treats

> me. If the business is going well, he treats me great. If he is

stressed

> out at work, he treats me less than great. It could also be that

he has

> been so stressed about your health that he wants you to be well

right away

> so he will know that you're going to be ok.

>

> I hope things calm down at home soon.

>

> Kenda

>

>

> 11/20/05 10:59 AM

>

> > Hi ,

> >

> > Yes, things haven't been good on the homefront since the implants

> > came to town. They haven't improved just yet, either, and I'm

> > hoping as my health improves and I get a job, that we can get

back

> > on track. For many months I lived a life of quiet desperation,

> > because my husband did not want to hear that I was sick, and he

> > dismissed my concerns that it was the implants. Finally I made

> > plans on my own to have them removed, and he freaked out because

he

> > was not part of the decision. Well, I was tired of waiting for

him

> > to listen to me, and if he wasn't going to be part of the

solution,

> > I had to find one on my own. He finally came around and I had

the

> > surgery, but as the surgery approached he became pretty hostile

> > towards me, as if it was a huge burden to take time off work for

> > me. Even in the hotel room as I was healing, he was snapping at

> > me. I couldn't believe he had no compassion. What frightened me

> > the most was that when I really needed my husband the most, he

> > checked out emotionally, and was actually pretty cruel. I'm

> > learning that some men do that, they can't handle it, and their

> > reaction to being in pain is to shut down or lash out. Now that

> > we're home, he expects me to be 100% better right away and is

angry

> > that the house isn't clean. I guess time will tell if things

will

> > work out here, but for now I'm just concentrating on taking care

of

> > myself and I'll figure out the rest in time.

> >

> > Sis

> >

> > --- In , " ktitko " <ktitko@y...>

wrote:

> >>

> >> Sis, I must have missed something. I didn't realize you were

going

> >> through problems with your husband through all of this. I am so

> >> sorry to hear that. My first marriage ended when I became ill

from

> >> my implants. I am better off for it because now I havea

wonderful

> >> husband, but I can sympathize with having marital problems from

> >> illness.

> >>

> >> Yesterday my husband made a comment to me that blew me away. He

> > has

> >> been out of state for 7 days working on his uncles house. In 7

> > days

> >> he had worked more than 72 hours, and that was without a day off

> >> from the previous weeks work. Needless to say he is exhausted.

> >> Yesterday morning he had the chance to read my letter from Dr.

> >> Blais. Then as we were out running errands and he needed me to

> > drive

> >> because of his exhaustion he looked over at me and said, " Now I

> >> think I know how you must have felt all those years, I am

> > exhausted

> >> and can't seem to get over it " . It was really neat to hear him

say

> >> that, even though he has always been so supportive.

> >>

> >> No one truly understand what it is like unless they have lived

it.

> >> No matter what we say, no matter what we try to do, no one

> > will " get

> >> it " .

> >>

> >> Love,

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice

given by licensed

> > health care professionals. Consult your physician or licensed

health care

> > professional before commencing any medical treatment.

> >

> > " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians

mislead you.

> > Find out what the facts are, and make your own decisions about

how to live a

> > happy life and how to work for a better world. " - Linus ing,

two-time

> > Nobel Prize Winner (1954, Chemistry; 1963, Peace)

> >

> > See our photos website! Enter " implants " for access at this link:

> > http://.shutterfly.com/action/

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Kenda,

Wow, there are quite a few parallels here!! This definitely made me

think about myself as an elderly woman with health problems. I

don't know if I mentioned this, but his sisters reminded me that he

treated his mother poorly when she was ill in her final years. I

think this goes back to childhood - his mother was sick for a number

of years when he was a kid (she eventually got better), and whenever

he mentions that time, he always tends to view it from the eyes of

his father. He saw his father work long hours just to pay the

mounting medical bills for his mother, and it took him years to pay

them. So perhaps this goes alot deeper. Perhaps this brings back

some childhood fears - first of all, your mother is sick and can't

take care of you, and secondly he might be linking this to the

burden he felt it put on his father.

Sis

P.S. If my husband realized I was analyzing him online, he'd

probably be mad!! However, this really is helping me work through

things and come to a better understanding, so thanks for being

patient with me.

> >>>>

> >>>> Sis, I must have missed something. I didn't realize you were

> > going

> >>>> through problems with your husband through all of this. I am

so

> >>>> sorry to hear that. My first marriage ended when I became ill

> > from

> >>>> my implants. I am better off for it because now I havea

> > wonderful

> >>>> husband, but I can sympathize with having marital problems

from

> >>>> illness.

> >>>>

> >>>> Yesterday my husband made a comment to me that blew me away.

He

> >>> has

> >>>> been out of state for 7 days working on his uncles house. In 7

> >>> days

> >>>> he had worked more than 72 hours, and that was without a day

off

> >>>> from the previous weeks work. Needless to say he is exhausted.

> >>>> Yesterday morning he had the chance to read my letter from Dr.

> >>>> Blais. Then as we were out running errands and he needed me to

> >>> drive

> >>>> because of his exhaustion he looked over at me and said, "

Now I

> >>>> think I know how you must have felt all those years, I am

> >>> exhausted

> >>>> and can't seem to get over it " . It was really neat to hear him

> > say

> >>>> that, even though he has always been so supportive.

> >>>>

> >>>> No one truly understand what it is like unless they have lived

> > it.

> >>>> No matter what we say, no matter what we try to do, no one

> >>> will " get

> >>>> it " .

> >>>>

> >>>> Love,

> >>>>

> >>>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>>

> >>> Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice

> > given by licensed

> >>> health care professionals. Consult your physician or licensed

> > health care

> >>> professional before commencing any medical treatment.

> >>>

> >>> " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians

> > mislead you.

> >>> Find out what the facts are, and make your own decisions about

> > how to live a

> >>> happy life and how to work for a better world. " - Linus

ing,

> > two-time

> >>> Nobel Prize Winner (1954, Chemistry; 1963, Peace)

> >>>

> >>> See our photos website! Enter " implants " for access at this

link:

> >>> http://.shutterfly.com/action/

> >>>

> >>>

[Guest guest]

Kenda, we've been married 3 years, together for a total off 11. We

lived together for a couple of years before we were married. Once

we got married we seemed to establish much healthier patterns but

with all that's happened this year, it's definitely put a strain on

things.

Sis

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> Sis, I must have missed something. I didn't realize you were

> >>> going

> >>>>>> through problems with your husband through all of this. I am

> > so

> >>>>>> sorry to hear that. My first marriage ended when I became

ill

> >>> from

> >>>>>> my implants. I am better off for it because now I havea

> >>> wonderful

> >>>>>> husband, but I can sympathize with having marital problems

> > from

> >>>>>> illness.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> Yesterday my husband made a comment to me that blew me away.

> > He

> >>>>> has

> >>>>>> been out of state for 7 days working on his uncles house.

In 7

> >>>>> days

> >>>>>> he had worked more than 72 hours, and that was without a day

> > off

> >>>>>> from the previous weeks work. Needless to say he is

exhausted.

> >>>>>> Yesterday morning he had the chance to read my letter from

Dr.

> >>>>>> Blais. Then as we were out running errands and he needed me

to

> >>>>> drive

> >>>>>> because of his exhaustion he looked over at me and said, "

> > Now I

> >>>>>> think I know how you must have felt all those years, I am

> >>>>> exhausted

> >>>>>> and can't seem to get over it " . It was really neat to hear

him

> >>> say

> >>>>>> that, even though he has always been so supportive.

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> No one truly understand what it is like unless they have

lived

> >>> it.

> >>>>>> No matter what we say, no matter what we try to do, no one

> >>>>> will " get

> >>>>>> it " .

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>> Love,

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>>

> >>>>> Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice

> >>> given by licensed

> >>>>> health care professionals. Consult your physician or licensed

> >>> health care

> >>>>> professional before commencing any medical treatment.

> >>>>>

> >>>>> " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians

> >>> mislead you.

> >>>>> Find out what the facts are, and make your own decisions

about

> >>> how to live a

> >>>>> happy life and how to work for a better world. " - Linus

> > ing,

> >>> two-time

> >>>>> Nobel Prize Winner (1954, Chemistry; 1963, Peace)

> >>>>>

> >>>>> See our photos website! Enter " implants " for access at this

> > link:

> >>>>> http://.shutterfly.com/action/

> >>>>>

> >>>>>