A very loving letter

[Guest guest]

So I had not been answering the phone since last week and my

grandmother called and left a message that they worried I might be

sick or dead. I called her back and said I'm fine but I'm too upset

to talk to anyone. My grandmother tried to guilt me and say that I

was breaking my mother's heart and it wasn't right for me to be

upset with her after all she's been through. My mother called back

and left a message that everything was going to be ok now because

she'd written my father a very loving letter.

Then my father called last night and he did get a letter. She

pretty much wants to get back together with him, move back into the

house, give back the money and other stuff she took, and just have

everything go back to how it was before. Only my father says he

just can't do that, all his trust is gone. He really feels she

tried to sabotage him when he was going in for his surgery and he

just doesn't want to try to live with someone who would do that.

It makes my letter tougher, because my letter wasn't really about my

father. It was about my mother's behavior toward me and the toll it

was taking on me. So whether or not she's " being loving " toward my

father isn't even the issue. But I'm sure at least for now she

means it 100% that she's sorry and she wants to get back together

with my father. So I feel weird sending her a letter in which I

call her abusive right at the time she's about to get this massive

rejection from my father. The sucky thing about it is that she had

a pretty good life from most people's standards and she went berserk

and now everything is gone.

But of course to me, that's not even the issue. Things have been

bad for a long, long time, and this most recent thing, splitting up

from my father, was just another symptom in a long pattern of

blaming everyone else in her life for whatever is going on.

I just feel so freaking bad for her. It's not really her fault

she's crazy and now life is looking really lonely for her.