Guest guest Posted May 29, 2006 Report Share Posted May 29, 2006 I'm still new (intro pending moderation ) but this resonates with me. I'm still only just finding my way through everything and I guess I always just assumed that my mother wasn't good at mothering but that she was a great grandmother. But reading this actually makes a lot of sense. We don't live near her anymore, but she is still very hands on, it is absolutely perfect to say her grandchildren are her life, everything revolves around them, my two kids especially, I guess because she had more access to them than she did with my older brother and sister. My mother is untreated, and was diagnosed many years ago but chose denial. in Oz (except really! lol Australia) > Kathleen wrote: The question I have for the group is this: Do you think there is some correlation between the nada's child fear of abandonment and then wanting to take over the grandchildren? Is this a coping mechanism for the abandoned child? That doesn't make sense. Let me rephrase it. Is there a deal going on between her adult and her child in which the adult becomes a psuedo parent in order to allay the abandoned child??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 It is nice to hear a positive story of a nada being a terrific grandmother. I have a lot of fears of what my nada could try to pass on to my daughter! BUtifulGrace aylaah19 wrote: I'm still new (intro pending moderation ) but this resonates with me. I'm still only just finding my way through everything and I guess I always just assumed that my mother wasn't good at mothering but that she was a great grandmother. But reading this actually makes a lot of sense. We don't live near her anymore, but she is still very hands on, it is absolutely perfect to say her grandchildren are her life, everything revolves around them, my two kids especially, I guess because she had more access to them than she did with my older brother and sister. My mother is untreated, and was diagnosed many years ago but chose denial. in Oz (except really! lol Australia) > Kathleen wrote: The question I have for the group is this: Do you think there is some correlation between the nada's child fear of abandonment and then wanting to take over the grandchildren? Is this a coping mechanism for the abandoned child? That doesn't make sense. Let me rephrase it. Is there a deal going on between her adult and her child in which the adult becomes a psuedo parent in order to allay the abandoned child??? Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to “Understanding the Borderline Mother” (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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