Love

[Guest guest]

Although I haven't posted in ages, I find this list very helpful and I would

value your input on an issue I have been struggling with for some time.

I am 35 and would like to settle down in a long-term relationship. Nevertheless,

for the last few years, every time I get into a relationship (and there have

been many), I find myself becoming very anxious (with panic attacks) early on,

if I'm not in love with the guy. After a month of staying with those strong

sensations, I give up on the relationship and move on. I have fallen in love

before and feel that I should be feeling something after a month of being with

someone and having a really great time with him.

Yes, I value relationships and I act according to my values and have the

sensations at the same time. Normally, when I value something I move in that

direction and do not let emotions get in the way. However, what do we do with

love? Do we in this case listen to the emotions and let them be our guide? I am

concerned that I will be doing the same thing for the rest of my life and would

ideally like to stick with a relationship for at least three months, but the

sensations tend to become so strong that I just feel the pain is not worth it.

Any thoughts?

Thank you.

Katja