Re: mastectomy/silicone story

November 8, 2005

Oh Kathie, this is breathtaking.

I am so so sorry you have been through such a nightmare.

Sadly, you are not alone. A friend of mine was told she had cancer & had a

total

mastectomy. They put in silicone implants, and only years later did she find

out she never

had cancer.

Where do you live?

Are you looking at explant now?

You need to find a compassionate doctor who KNOWS what you have been through and

also who is competent and can lead you in the right direction.

Fortunately, there are some of those around, but they are not easy to find.

That's one of

the reasons forums like this have 'recommended doctors' lists.

>

> i feel, after reading some replies, and receiving some emails, that i

> could go ahead and share what is going on....to those women who

> invited me to email them privately, i couldn't determine their email

> addresses, so if i didn't answer you, that is why.....

>

> i had my first biospsy at 16 (a million years ago) when i found a

> lump in my breast...the doctor told me the first question when you

> wake up will be " is there anything under the bandage " ! imagaine

> saying that to a 16 year old....during the next 30 years i had two

> babies, breastfed them both, and had five more biopsies (the kind

> where they put you under, not just needle ones)....i also was

> terrified deep inside, waiting for the other shoe to fall...the last

> biopsy was done in the fall of 2000....i had an extremely large cyst

> that i knew should be drained...i saw two surgeons, one who told

> me " she didn't mess with healthy breasts " (even after hearing my

> history)and another who just patted me and said " you're

> fine " .....knowing i wasn't, i got a referral to an OB/GYN, thinking

> perhaps they would be concerned, and he was...i was in a surgeon's

> office the next day, who did drain the cyst with a needle....under

> the cyst was a hard nodule....i had it removed the next week....his

> office called to have me come back in, and i asked if i should bring

> someone with me, and was told, " oh no, just a follow-up " ...so i went

> alone....i figured he was going to tell me to cut out the caffiene

> (which i had done for the most part)...anyway, the first words out of

> hi mouth were " we need to remove both your breasts " ...he kept

> talking, but i couldn't hear him....i finally stopped him, and told

> hime i couldn't hear him, that i would make an appointment and come

> back.......i walked out of that office, down a hallway, past people

> working, through the waiting room, sobbing.....and they let me....i

> got in my truck, called my PCP, whose receptionist noticed i was

> crying, told me to pull over, talked me down, and told me to come

> right in......long story short, i saw a second surgeon, heard my

> options, met with the PS, and believed them both when they said

> silicone was safe, that i should have immediate reconstruction,

> etc....i was aware of the controversy about silicone.....both these

> men looked me in the eyes, and said they would put silicone in their

> own wives.....as you can imagine, making the kinds of choices i was

> making, i didn't really have the heart to do a lot of research...i

> did some, mostly about whether i really had to lose my breasts, and i

> was so scared, i didn't know what to do.....the PS put in the first

> set of implants, and they were the wrong size....now remember, there

> is NO FLESH LEFT....i don't even know what is holding my implants

> in....but the first implants didn't stick out, they were so big they

> were in my armpits, and it was awful...i had numbness etc....but

> thought it was the size.....i spent a year proving this guy put in

> something besides what he had promised..........i also thought it was

> because i had a " drive-through " mastectomy, where they only allow you

> to stay 13 hours......yes, they chopped off my breasts OUT

> PATIENT....well, i had the second set put in, and it was okay, for

> awhile....the last two years, my syptoms and pain have become

> uncontrollable......and the thing is, i don't know how much is the

> silicone, how much is Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, how much is

> permanent nerve/muscle damage........and the thing is, all anyone

> wants to do is treat the pain, give me drugs, a " pain specialist "

> even wanted to IMPLANT a drug pump....which would have made it so i

> could never swim again, etc.....thank God i knew enough to walk away

> from that place.....i have read thousands of pages of articles,

> learned about nerve damage, about the fact that immediate management

> of acute pain (like after a mastectomy) needs to be done with skill,

> to prevent nerves learning pain patterns......i have communicated

> with researchers in europe about PMPS.....the funny thing is, not one

> doctor/PA has laid a hand on my body, asked me where it hurts, or

> anything........many docs have intimated i am " just

> depressed " ....even my partner thinks that.......i KNOW that there is

> somthing wrong, and i want to fix it......taking the amount of pain

> meds i take every day just to survive can't be healthy......but the

> fight to figure all this out is overwhelming.......i would like to

> know, after the implants are out, what is left? there is no flesh, i

> am really thin (i dropped 30 lbs a year ago, for no apparent reason)

> and the tech who did my MRI to see if my implants were leaking,

> said " oh my goodness, you have no chest wall left " ........what does

> that mean????? my PCP just said, " oh well, you know nerves allow

> muscles to exist, and you must not have any left, and that is

> forever, since your nerves are damaged " ...but when i push for a

> solution or plan, she just says i have to take viodin forever, or

> maybe i'll need a morphine patch.........and the thing is, i still

> miss my breasts, i am so sad.........but i am not in this much pain

> because i am sad....that is because something isn't right with my

> body anymore................so that is what is going on for

> me.....thanks for listening.....and i wish someone could explain what

> is under my implants....it feels like they are just resting on my rib

> cage....i was emailing with a woman, an silicone survivor, who told

> me is might be the silicone adhering to my ribs....how scary is

> that? so that is one reason i thought if someone else who had a

> complete bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction was out there, it

> would be nice.......i have NEVER found one other woman who had this

> done....thanks again, and blessings.......

>

> kathie

>

November 8, 2005

thanks...i am hoping to have the implants out, and women in here have

been trying to help me find a doctor, any kind, who will not

necessarily use the silicone card, but will say they need to com

out....i cannot find the $$$ on my own, no matte how strong the will

is....there is no way! thanks to you, for your response and

caring, and to everyone who has helped me get to this group....if

there are only seven degrees of kevin bacon <g> there must be someon

who knows someone, and i'll find help........blessings......

kathie

t--- In , " Molly Bloom " <mollyb54@b...>

wrote:

>

> Oh Kathie, this is breathtaking.

> I am so so sorry you have been through such a nightmare.

> Sadly, you are not alone. A friend of mine was told she had cancer

& had a total

> mastectomy. They put in silicone implants, and only years later

did she find out she never

> had cancer.

>

> Where do you live?

> Are you looking at explant now?

> You need to find a compassionate doctor who KNOWS what you have

been through and

> also who is competent and can lead you in the right direction.

> Fortunately, there are some of those around, but they are not easy

to find. That's one of

> the reasons forums like this have 'recommended doctors' lists.

>

> --- In , " kathie " <Kathie.Larsyn@r...>

wrote:

> >

> > i feel, after reading some replies, and receiving some emails,

that i

> > could go ahead and share what is going on....to those women who

> > invited me to email them privately, i couldn't determine their

email

> > addresses, so if i didn't answer you, that is why.....

> >

> > i had my first biospsy at 16 (a million years ago) when i found a

> > lump in my breast...the doctor told me the first question when

you

> > wake up will be " is there anything under the bandage " ! imagaine

> > saying that to a 16 year old....during the next 30 years i had

two

> > babies, breastfed them both, and had five more biopsies (the kind

> > where they put you under, not just needle ones)....i also was

> > terrified deep inside, waiting for the other shoe to fall...the

last

> > biopsy was done in the fall of 2000....i had an extremely large

cyst

> > that i knew should be drained...i saw two surgeons, one who told

> > me " she didn't mess with healthy breasts " (even after hearing my

> > history)and another who just patted me and said " you're

> > fine " .....knowing i wasn't, i got a referral to an OB/GYN,

thinking

> > perhaps they would be concerned, and he was...i was in a

surgeon's

> > office the next day, who did drain the cyst with a

needle....under

> > the cyst was a hard nodule....i had it removed the next

week....his

> > office called to have me come back in, and i asked if i should

bring

> > someone with me, and was told, " oh no, just a follow-up " ...so i

went

> > alone....i figured he was going to tell me to cut out the

caffiene

> > (which i had done for the most part)...anyway, the first words

out of

> > hi mouth were " we need to remove both your breasts " ...he kept

> > talking, but i couldn't hear him....i finally stopped him, and

told

> > hime i couldn't hear him, that i would make an appointment and

come

> > back.......i walked out of that office, down a hallway, past

people

> > working, through the waiting room, sobbing.....and they let

me....i

> > got in my truck, called my PCP, whose receptionist noticed i was

> > crying, told me to pull over, talked me down, and told me to come

> > right in......long story short, i saw a second surgeon, heard my

> > options, met with the PS, and believed them both when they said

> > silicone was safe, that i should have immediate reconstruction,

> > etc....i was aware of the controversy about silicone.....both

these

> > men looked me in the eyes, and said they would put silicone in

their

> > own wives.....as you can imagine, making the kinds of choices i

was

> > making, i didn't really have the heart to do a lot of

research...i

> > did some, mostly about whether i really had to lose my breasts,

and i

> > was so scared, i didn't know what to do.....the PS put in the

first

> > set of implants, and they were the wrong size....now remember,

there

> > is NO FLESH LEFT....i don't even know what is holding my implants

> > in....but the first implants didn't stick out, they were so big

they

> > were in my armpits, and it was awful...i had numbness etc....but

> > thought it was the size.....i spent a year proving this guy put

in

> > something besides what he had promised..........i also thought it

was

> > because i had a " drive-through " mastectomy, where they only allow

you

> > to stay 13 hours......yes, they chopped off my breasts OUT

> > PATIENT....well, i had the second set put in, and it was okay,

for

> > awhile....the last two years, my syptoms and pain have become

> > uncontrollable......and the thing is, i don't know how much is

the

> > silicone, how much is Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, how much is

> > permanent nerve/muscle damage........and the thing is, all anyone

> > wants to do is treat the pain, give me drugs, a " pain specialist "

> > even wanted to IMPLANT a drug pump....which would have made it so

i

> > could never swim again, etc.....thank God i knew enough to walk

away

> > from that place.....i have read thousands of pages of articles,

> > learned about nerve damage, about the fact that immediate

management

> > of acute pain (like after a mastectomy) needs to be done with

skill,

> > to prevent nerves learning pain patterns......i have communicated

> > with researchers in europe about PMPS.....the funny thing is, not

one

> > doctor/PA has laid a hand on my body, asked me where it hurts, or

> > anything........many docs have intimated i am " just

> > depressed " ....even my partner thinks that.......i KNOW that there

is

> > somthing wrong, and i want to fix it......taking the amount of

pain

> > meds i take every day just to survive can't be healthy......but

the

> > fight to figure all this out is overwhelming.......i would like

to

> > know, after the implants are out, what is left? there is no

flesh, i

> > am really thin (i dropped 30 lbs a year ago, for no apparent

reason)

> > and the tech who did my MRI to see if my implants were leaking,

> > said " oh my goodness, you have no chest wall left " ........what

does

> > that mean????? my PCP just said, " oh well, you know nerves allow

> > muscles to exist, and you must not have any left, and that is

> > forever, since your nerves are damaged " ...but when i push for a

> > solution or plan, she just says i have to take viodin forever, or

> > maybe i'll need a morphine patch.........and the thing is, i

still

> > miss my breasts, i am so sad.........but i am not in this much

pain

> > because i am sad....that is because something isn't right with my

> > body anymore................so that is what is going on for

> > me.....thanks for listening.....and i wish someone could explain

what

> > is under my implants....it feels like they are just resting on my

rib

> > cage....i was emailing with a woman, an silicone survivor, who

told

> > me is might be the silicone adhering to my ribs....how scary is

> > that? so that is one reason i thought if someone else who had a

> > complete bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction was out there,

it

> > would be nice.......i have NEVER found one other woman who had

this

> > done....thanks again, and blessings.......

> >

> > kathie

> >

>

November 8, 2005

Kathie,

One of my friends - who was a house guest here all

weekend - had a mastectomy some years ago . . . Later,

she decided to have the other breast removed because

she felt " unbalanced " and she was concerned about

developing cancer in that breast.

She's completely flat and totally unselfconscious

about it. . . Would it help if I gave you her address

so you could talk to her? . . . When I tell her about

the implant fiasco, she asks what the big deal is all

about. She's wonderfully well adjusted, living a good

life, working daily and happy. She wears snug tops

without hesitation. Her hubby doesn't care - she

doesn't feel disfigured. She doesn't have breasts, and

her attitude is " So what? "

If you have nothing left of your chest wall, I would

assume you don't have any muscle left. . . If you

don't have any muscle left, you wouldn't be able to do

the simplest things for yourself . . . dress, eat,

open doors, etc. I'm afraid you are letting someone's

stupid remark get the best of you!

It's highly likely your implants are causing your

health problems. However, there are worse things than

not having breasts . . . it's being chronically sick!

You can get better. But you will need to get those

implants out, wean yourself off pain medication, and

get on a very healthy diet. It's not quick and it's

not simple. However, your options are very limited.

You have sooooooo much to gain!

If you'll take it one step at a time, you can do it.

Many other women here have been there and done it!

This group of women is one of the most incredible

bunch of ladies I've ever seen. We want to see you get

well, and we'll be here if you have any questions.

Please stop stressing over your situation and start

taking action. Ignore any doctor who isn't 100% on

your side and dedicated to getting you well - not just

maintaining the status quo! Find a excellent doctor to

work for YOU! Remember YOU employ THEM! They have a

job to do for YOU! . . . Don't take any BS off them!

Hugs and prayers,

Rogene

November 8, 2005

i would LOVE to talk to her.......i am okay with having them out, and

being flat..........it is just getting them out, and i would like to

know if it will be worse when the implants are gone......as far as

what is under there.....thanks for your common sense, there have to

be some muscles left!

kathie

>

> Kathie,

>

> One of my friends - who was a house guest here all

> weekend - had a mastectomy some years ago . . . Later,

> she decided to have the other breast removed because

> she felt " unbalanced " and she was concerned about

> developing cancer in that breast.

>

> She's completely flat and totally unselfconscious

> about it. . . Would it help if I gave you her address

> so you could talk to her? . . . When I tell her about

> the implant fiasco, she asks what the big deal is all

> about. She's wonderfully well adjusted, living a good

> life, working daily and happy. She wears snug tops

> without hesitation. Her hubby doesn't care - she

> doesn't feel disfigured. She doesn't have breasts, and

> her attitude is " So what? "

>

> If you have nothing left of your chest wall, I would

> assume you don't have any muscle left. . . If you

> don't have any muscle left, you wouldn't be able to do

> the simplest things for yourself . . . dress, eat,

> open doors, etc. I'm afraid you are letting someone's

> stupid remark get the best of you!

>

> It's highly likely your implants are causing your

> health problems. However, there are worse things than

> not having breasts . . . it's being chronically sick!

> You can get better. But you will need to get those

> implants out, wean yourself off pain medication, and

> get on a very healthy diet. It's not quick and it's

> not simple. However, your options are very limited.

> You have sooooooo much to gain!

>

> If you'll take it one step at a time, you can do it.

> Many other women here have been there and done it!

> This group of women is one of the most incredible

> bunch of ladies I've ever seen. We want to see you get

> well, and we'll be here if you have any questions.

>

> Please stop stressing over your situation and start

> taking action. Ignore any doctor who isn't 100% on

> your side and dedicated to getting you well - not just

> maintaining the status quo! Find a excellent doctor to

> work for YOU! Remember YOU employ THEM! They have a

> job to do for YOU! . . . Don't take any BS off them!

>

> Hugs and prayers,

>

> Rogene

>

November 8, 2005

Kathie

Your story is just so sad. I am so sorry that you have had such

terrible and frightening experiences and continue to live in such

pain. You definitely need to find a good plastic surgeon that

believes in implant illness that would be able to determine the

status of your implants now, be able to answer all your questions

regarding your chest wall, etc, and who would be able to explain

what your options would be in having them explanted. Definitely

someone you could trust. I will be praying for answers for you in

these areas.

love, kathy

--- In , " kathie " <Kathie.Larsyn@r...>

wrote:

>

> i feel, after reading some replies, and receiving some emails,

that i

> could go ahead and share what is going on....to those women who

> invited me to email them privately, i couldn't determine their

email

> addresses, so if i didn't answer you, that is why.....

>

> i had my first biospsy at 16 (a million years ago) when i found a

> lump in my breast...the doctor told me the first question when you

> wake up will be " is there anything under the bandage " ! imagaine

> saying that to a 16 year old....during the next 30 years i had two

> babies, breastfed them both, and had five more biopsies (the kind

> where they put you under, not just needle ones)....i also was

> terrified deep inside, waiting for the other shoe to fall...the

last

> biopsy was done in the fall of 2000....i had an extremely large

cyst

> that i knew should be drained...i saw two surgeons, one who told

> me " she didn't mess with healthy breasts " (even after hearing my

> history)and another who just patted me and said " you're

> fine " .....knowing i wasn't, i got a referral to an OB/GYN,

thinking

> perhaps they would be concerned, and he was...i was in a surgeon's

> office the next day, who did drain the cyst with a needle....under

> the cyst was a hard nodule....i had it removed the next

week....his

> office called to have me come back in, and i asked if i should

bring

> someone with me, and was told, " oh no, just a follow-up " ...so i

went

> alone....i figured he was going to tell me to cut out the caffiene

> (which i had done for the most part)...anyway, the first words out

of

> hi mouth were " we need to remove both your breasts " ...he kept

> talking, but i couldn't hear him....i finally stopped him, and

told

> hime i couldn't hear him, that i would make an appointment and

come

> back.......i walked out of that office, down a hallway, past

people

> working, through the waiting room, sobbing.....and they let

me....i

> got in my truck, called my PCP, whose receptionist noticed i was

> crying, told me to pull over, talked me down, and told me to come

> right in......long story short, i saw a second surgeon, heard my

> options, met with the PS, and believed them both when they said

> silicone was safe, that i should have immediate reconstruction,

> etc....i was aware of the controversy about silicone.....both

these

> men looked me in the eyes, and said they would put silicone in

their

> own wives.....as you can imagine, making the kinds of choices i

was

> making, i didn't really have the heart to do a lot of research...i

> did some, mostly about whether i really had to lose my breasts,

and i

> was so scared, i didn't know what to do.....the PS put in the

first

> set of implants, and they were the wrong size....now remember,

there

> is NO FLESH LEFT....i don't even know what is holding my implants

> in....but the first implants didn't stick out, they were so big

they

> were in my armpits, and it was awful...i had numbness etc....but

> thought it was the size.....i spent a year proving this guy put in

> something besides what he had promised..........i also thought it

was

> because i had a " drive-through " mastectomy, where they only allow

you

> to stay 13 hours......yes, they chopped off my breasts OUT

> PATIENT....well, i had the second set put in, and it was okay, for

> awhile....the last two years, my syptoms and pain have become

> uncontrollable......and the thing is, i don't know how much is the

> silicone, how much is Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, how much is

> permanent nerve/muscle damage........and the thing is, all anyone

> wants to do is treat the pain, give me drugs, a " pain specialist "

> even wanted to IMPLANT a drug pump....which would have made it so

i

> could never swim again, etc.....thank God i knew enough to walk

away

> from that place.....i have read thousands of pages of articles,

> learned about nerve damage, about the fact that immediate

management

> of acute pain (like after a mastectomy) needs to be done with

skill,

> to prevent nerves learning pain patterns......i have communicated

> with researchers in europe about PMPS.....the funny thing is, not

one

> doctor/PA has laid a hand on my body, asked me where it hurts, or

> anything........many docs have intimated i am " just

> depressed " ....even my partner thinks that.......i KNOW that there

is

> somthing wrong, and i want to fix it......taking the amount of

pain

> meds i take every day just to survive can't be healthy......but

the

> fight to figure all this out is overwhelming.......i would like to

> know, after the implants are out, what is left? there is no

flesh, i

> am really thin (i dropped 30 lbs a year ago, for no apparent

reason)

> and the tech who did my MRI to see if my implants were leaking,

> said " oh my goodness, you have no chest wall left " ........what

does

> that mean????? my PCP just said, " oh well, you know nerves allow

> muscles to exist, and you must not have any left, and that is

> forever, since your nerves are damaged " ...but when i push for a

> solution or plan, she just says i have to take viodin forever, or

> maybe i'll need a morphine patch.........and the thing is, i still

> miss my breasts, i am so sad.........but i am not in this much

pain

> because i am sad....that is because something isn't right with my

> body anymore................so that is what is going on for

> me.....thanks for listening.....and i wish someone could explain

what

> is under my implants....it feels like they are just resting on my

rib

> cage....i was emailing with a woman, an silicone survivor, who

told

> me is might be the silicone adhering to my ribs....how scary is

> that? so that is one reason i thought if someone else who had a

> complete bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction was out there,

it

> would be nice.......i have NEVER found one other woman who had

this

> done....thanks again, and blessings.......

>

> kathie

>

November 8, 2005

Kathie,

Did you contact anyone at the Southwest College of Naturopathic

Medicine and Health Sciences?

I was certain they could help you, if not point you in the direction

of someone who could.

I will pray that the money will come for you....it's all God's

anyway, and He is fully able to provide. It's been my experience

that somehow, someway, women always seem to find the funds to get

explant. Stay confident of this, and it will happen! That money is

out there for you! It's just got to be tapped!

Hugs,

Patty

> > >

> > > i feel, after reading some replies, and receiving some emails,

> that i

> > > could go ahead and share what is going on....to those women

who

> > > invited me to email them privately, i couldn't determine their

> email

> > > addresses, so if i didn't answer you, that is why.....

> > >

> > > i had my first biospsy at 16 (a million years ago) when i

found a

> > > lump in my breast...the doctor told me the first question when

> you

> > > wake up will be " is there anything under the bandage " !

imagaine

> > > saying that to a 16 year old....during the next 30 years i had

> two

> > > babies, breastfed them both, and had five more biopsies (the

kind

> > > where they put you under, not just needle ones)....i also was

> > > terrified deep inside, waiting for the other shoe to

fall...the

> last

> > > biopsy was done in the fall of 2000....i had an extremely

large

> cyst

> > > that i knew should be drained...i saw two surgeons, one who

told

> > > me " she didn't mess with healthy breasts " (even after hearing

my

> > > history)and another who just patted me and said " you're

> > > fine " .....knowing i wasn't, i got a referral to an OB/GYN,

> thinking

> > > perhaps they would be concerned, and he was...i was in a

> surgeon's

> > > office the next day, who did drain the cyst with a

> needle....under

> > > the cyst was a hard nodule....i had it removed the next

> week....his

> > > office called to have me come back in, and i asked if i should

> bring

> > > someone with me, and was told, " oh no, just a follow-up " ...so

i

> went

> > > alone....i figured he was going to tell me to cut out the

> caffiene

> > > (which i had done for the most part)...anyway, the first words

> out of

> > > hi mouth were " we need to remove both your breasts " ...he kept

> > > talking, but i couldn't hear him....i finally stopped him, and

> told

> > > hime i couldn't hear him, that i would make an appointment and

> come

> > > back.......i walked out of that office, down a hallway, past

> people

> > > working, through the waiting room, sobbing.....and they let

> me....i

> > > got in my truck, called my PCP, whose receptionist noticed i

was

> > > crying, told me to pull over, talked me down, and told me to

come

> > > right in......long story short, i saw a second surgeon, heard

my

> > > options, met with the PS, and believed them both when they

said

> > > silicone was safe, that i should have immediate

reconstruction,

> > > etc....i was aware of the controversy about silicone.....both

> these

> > > men looked me in the eyes, and said they would put silicone in

> their

> > > own wives.....as you can imagine, making the kinds of choices

i

> was

> > > making, i didn't really have the heart to do a lot of

> research...i

> > > did some, mostly about whether i really had to lose my

breasts,

> and i

> > > was so scared, i didn't know what to do.....the PS put in the

> first

> > > set of implants, and they were the wrong size....now remember,

> there

> > > is NO FLESH LEFT....i don't even know what is holding my

implants

> > > in....but the first implants didn't stick out, they were so

big

> they

> > > were in my armpits, and it was awful...i had numbness

etc....but

> > > thought it was the size.....i spent a year proving this guy

put

> in

> > > something besides what he had promised..........i also thought

it

> was

> > > because i had a " drive-through " mastectomy, where they only

allow

> you

> > > to stay 13 hours......yes, they chopped off my breasts OUT

> > > PATIENT....well, i had the second set put in, and it was okay,

> for

> > > awhile....the last two years, my syptoms and pain have become

> > > uncontrollable......and the thing is, i don't know how much is

> the

> > > silicone, how much is Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, how much

is

> > > permanent nerve/muscle damage........and the thing is, all

anyone

> > > wants to do is treat the pain, give me drugs, a " pain

specialist "

> > > even wanted to IMPLANT a drug pump....which would have made it

so

> i

> > > could never swim again, etc.....thank God i knew enough to

walk

> away

> > > from that place.....i have read thousands of pages of

articles,

> > > learned about nerve damage, about the fact that immediate

> management

> > > of acute pain (like after a mastectomy) needs to be done with

> skill,

> > > to prevent nerves learning pain patterns......i have

communicated

> > > with researchers in europe about PMPS.....the funny thing is,

not

> one

> > > doctor/PA has laid a hand on my body, asked me where it hurts,

or

> > > anything........many docs have intimated i am " just

> > > depressed " ....even my partner thinks that.......i KNOW that

there

> is

> > > somthing wrong, and i want to fix it......taking the amount of

> pain

> > > meds i take every day just to survive can't be

healthy......but

> the

> > > fight to figure all this out is overwhelming.......i would

like

> to

> > > know, after the implants are out, what is left? there is no

> flesh, i

> > > am really thin (i dropped 30 lbs a year ago, for no apparent

> reason)

> > > and the tech who did my MRI to see if my implants were

leaking,

> > > said " oh my goodness, you have no chest wall left " ........what

> does

> > > that mean????? my PCP just said, " oh well, you know nerves

allow

> > > muscles to exist, and you must not have any left, and that is

> > > forever, since your nerves are damaged " ...but when i push for

a

> > > solution or plan, she just says i have to take viodin forever,

or

> > > maybe i'll need a morphine patch.........and the thing is, i

> still

> > > miss my breasts, i am so sad.........but i am not in this much

> pain

> > > because i am sad....that is because something isn't right with

my

> > > body anymore................so that is what is going on for

> > > me.....thanks for listening.....and i wish someone could

explain

> what

> > > is under my implants....it feels like they are just resting on

my

> rib

> > > cage....i was emailing with a woman, an silicone survivor, who

> told

> > > me is might be the silicone adhering to my ribs....how scary

is

> > > that? so that is one reason i thought if someone else who had

a

> > > complete bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction was out

there,

> it

> > > would be nice.......i have NEVER found one other woman who had

> this

> > > done....thanks again, and blessings.......

> > >

> > > kathie

> > >

> >

>

November 9, 2005

I am so so sorry for all you have been through. It is sad that these

Dr's say this to women. My sisters PS put gels in her, unapproved I

might add, 3 years ago and told her the same kind of thing. That his

wife has the same exact implants. I would like to see how he would

feel if he had them himself ya know!

I wish I could say something to make all you have been through better

I honestly do! I just don't know what else to say.

I would love to be support system to you so feel free to write me anytime.

idagirl@... or carrie41_fun@...

I will keep you in my prayers and I am glad you came to this group.

There are some really wonderful supportive women here!

hugs

, " kathie " <Kathie.Larsyn@r...> wrote: