Calendar and learning the mundane stuff was/Re: Limits on video games?

[Guest guest]

There is a lot of that going on in my home. Laundry had to come off this things

to do list. It's just not worth the fighting and frustration. All I ask now is

that he carry the laundry basket up and down the stairs. I did make a list of

" how and when " for the daily chores. At first he was offended he said he took it

as he was stupid. I told him I know he is extremely intelligent but I wanted to

make sure there was no ambiguity with what or how to clean. I have always done

the chores but due a temporary physical condition I am dealing with right now,

he has had to pick up the slack. We have been butting heads for the last 12 yrs

but since this DX has come to light and the desire to make our marriage work we

have had to change the way we talk to communicate, not just talk. Lists seem to

work for us. I have become more literal when talking to him and very up front.

He is always telling me that he feels like he's standing on the outside looking

in. A situation came up this weekend, our 10 yr old son got the note home from

school letting us know that they are preparing for HIV and sex education. I

asked if he would be able to talk to him before this class started. He was so

uncomfortable. I assured him that if it was too difficult for him that I would

do it. I reminded him that it is our responsibility as his parents to prepare

him for life and this is part of it. I also reminded him that this is typically

the dad's job and this is another opportunity for him to come closer to his son

but this is just going to create another situation where he will feel like that

person again, standing outside looking in.

Everyone has been so helpful,

Kathi

>

> > I need suggestions. Teaching a kid is one thing. How do you teach a 50 year

old AS, something like clothes washing? I've showed him probably 15 times, but

it doesn't " sink in " --can't think of another way of saying it.

>

> Especially since he's a computer geek ... flow charts.

>

> i have a complicated washer, but I usually just run the basic setting.

However, I want my kids to do laundry. (and my husband, when he lived here ...

he would go buy the any brand name detergent and " color safe bleach " , then read

the labels, then yell at me because the washer wouldn't give him a hot wash and

second spin. Then he's complain again because I didn't put the clothing in the

dryer after he asked me to set up the second spin. There's a reason I kicked him

out.] Anyway ... back on subject ...

>

> I drew up (n the computer) a chart of how to wash the basic types of loads we

get. The chart lists everything, including " check pockets to make sure they are

empty " . I taped it up near the washer, and everyone except me ignored it.

>

> Jay would probably love it!

>

> Nanci, have you ever been overwhelmed with options? Think of the kid with 31

flavors of ice cream to choose from ... this is how Jay reacts to almost every

decision. If he studies housekeeping as much as he studied computers, he'd get

the mental understanding to do the job. But he's as overwhelmed with running the

house as you'd be if faced with 6 pages of css and javascript. [i'm learning to

program, so I know some buzzwords.]

>

> --Liz

>

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