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Re: Fish - to Dorothy

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Dorothy,

What you wrote was very significant. As a KO, separating myself from

by nada was very painful, and it took some time, even with learning

about BP. It was counter-intinctual in one sense - as you mentioned

that the relationship with your parents is supposed to last a

lifetime. However, it was also a conflict of instincts, because I

too was aware that my 'self' would die if I continued in a

relationship with my nada. Something had to die - and I chose the

sick relationship with nada instead of death to my own self.

Sylvia

.......> Coming to terms with the fact that your mother never really

loved you

> the way a mother is supposed to love you can be devastating.

Cutting

> off contact with the person whom you once relied on for your very

> survival severs a bond that is supposed to last your entire life.

It

> goes against instinct. How could it NOT be painful?

>

> Maybe one way you could explain it to your husband is to think of

it

> like you would losing a physical part of yourself, say a leg. If

your

> leg is rotting with gangrene, you need to have it amputated or it

will

> kill you--but it's still your leg! You lose something either way,

but

> you lose more if you keep it: you lose your life.

>

> All the best to you.

>

> Dorothy

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