New Member

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone

I hope you don't mind, I joined up this morning after finding your

site linked from elsewhere.

My name is and I'm 24 years old from Australia. Today I am a

non-BP but I am seeing my mother in myself. So I don't know how long

I'll qualify!

I guess the main reason I'm here is to consider and ask about

learned behaviour vs. genetic inheritance of illness. This is where

I wonder for myself, trying to work out what is what.

A bit of history though!

My mother is diagnosed but untreated (denial for most of my life)

and is 55. She does seem less effected now to say 3 or 4 years ago,

and while she has been treated for depression in recent years she's

a great masker. She can get diagnosed with whatever she needs to be

diagnosed with.

Anyway, I am married with two children, and left home at 17, but it

wasn't the end of my issues at all. I eventually ceased speaking to

her about 2 1/2 years ago, for about 18 months. Since then our

relationship has been much better! It did wonders. We also now live

in opposite corners of the state and distance has always led to a

better relationship.

My parents divorced when I was 4, after my father recovered from a

suicide attempt. He's my emotional support, as I got nothing

emotionally from mum. He's a passive person and is very much

against 'poisoning' my relationship with mum and had high hopes for

it. It was only when I stopped speaking to mum and explained my

situation to him then that he told me about her diagnosis (when they

were together), and her resulting denial. Before you question his

intentions I need to stress that he has never before or again said

anything negative about my mother (no matter what she said to me

about him) - he's always been of the opinion that I was not her ex-

husband, and so his issues with her were not mine, and I had to

develop my own independent relationship and opinion with and of her.

So it was only when that was going belly-up that he said anything. I

trust my father and I do not think he has any ulterior motives. Ok,

that disclaimer is out of the way

Anyway the reading I do screams 'mum' to me but it has also started

screaming 'me' as well. And that is how I find my way here, to see

if I may have learned behaviours or if I have BPD too, and to seek

understanding and support of other children of BP's and hopefully if

I do end up with it, to help the relationships with my children.

Phew, mouthful, huh?

So that is me. I hope that my reasons are suitable for this group