Acceptance, Willingness

[Guest guest]

I have been really getting into the Acceptance-Willingness part of ACT over the

last few months and on some occasions I have felt quite happy. I think this is

because through acceptance I am not setting up a contrast between how I am and

how I would like things to be and so this gives me a chance to enjoy small

things in the pressent when they come. I'm not full of,'I wish it weren't like

this', or,'If only I had done things differently', and 'Why me', etc.

Also, willingness and acceptance undoes learned helplessnes and I am quite

pleased when I see how much I can do despite the suffereing or what my mind is

saying. I get this feeling of effectiveness and power which counters some of the

despair and this also raises my self esteem.

My harsh critical mind has been giving me a real hammering recently but I am

pleased at how I am still able to talk to people in a confident way and get on

with things despite the severe inner beatings.

I feel that things are quite tough at the moment and my mind often say's 'You're

finished, you're too far gone, too ill, incurable, worse than anyone else, a

mistake, a really bad person, etc'. One day, at a Christmas function, I started

to beleive this stuff when I found myself talking rubbish some of the time

because I was so exhausted. I then felt faint, started getting dizzy, and I felt

I was going to collapse. I had visions of the ambulance with blue flashing

lights and a loud siren coming. I then realised what my mind was doing and I

allowed these thoughts to just go by and the dizziness just to be there. Despite

these awful thoughts I got a grip back on the situation and things started going

smoothly again, although I was quite prepared to 'Accept' things not getting

better. Accepting the situation is the thing that put it right. Later, on my way

home, I was amazed at how my mind had almost talked me into a nervous breakdown

because now I felt perfectly okay.

Things are certainly very painful at the moment but I think much good work is

being done, and I'm quite excited about it. I have been beaten up quite badly

over the years but now I have started throwing a few punches back. This ACT is

powerful stuff!

Kavy