Re: KO's and Keirsey's personality types

[Guest guest]

Hi Trish,

I know about the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. From what I

understand, these types are not learned, they are inate. However,

we do learn to use aspects of our 'opposite' attributes due to

maturity and/or necessity.

It is a good discovery to learn that some of what we do is natural

behavior based on our preferences.

There is a lot of damage that can be done to a personality type when

he/she cannot funtion in the manner that is most natural for them.

This is where I see the damage by abusive parents who have no

interest in the needs of their children, whether those needs are

physical or psychological.

How horrible to be a child who is by nature sensitive to criticism

and excess control, and then to be raised by a nada, who is all

about criticism and control.

Good luck with the career research,

Sylvia

>

> Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

and

> among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

the

> Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

>

> It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

were

> not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

personality

> type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

>

> A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

adaptations

> to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> know/think about this.

>

> Trish

>

[Guest guest]

Trish,

I'd never heard of the Keirsey temperament test until you mentioned.

Me being the way I am, I had to search it out and take the test. I

was labeled as a guardian, which I think is very appropriate since my

primary job is a stay at home and therefore, definitely the guardian

of those two little clowns. I am not sure if I'd taken the test 5

years ago if I'd have tested the same- was more artsy-fartsy head in

the clouds back then. I've changed a little over the years, but maybe

not. I don't know. What I do know is that it summed me up quite

accurately- especially with the loyalty part. I think that is where

nada and I really diverged in our paths. She has the pretense of

being a loyal person, but is unwilling to do the tuff stuff that

makes relationships work. I am not like that. I also realized w/my

nada and w/my x-bp fiance that my loyalties were misplaced and that I

have to be loyal to myself and my value system first and foremost and

often times we don't always know what our values or boundaries are

until someone insults them or steps on them. I think I've learned a

lot from those bps about how to be loyal to myself and to make sure I

take care of myself so that I can actually be a guardian to the

relationships in my life that sincerely want me. Nada does not

sincerely want me in her life. To try and help her or any other bp

that does not want help is to be wasting my time and energy where it

could be better served. I have two cousins who are slightly bpish-

maybe really flea infested- who do want my help, feedback and input

as they journey out of Oz. I am willing to help them, but of course

only to the point that it doesn't interfere w/my family obligations

to my husband and kids (which one cousin is good about and the other

one is still more addicted to dramatic situations that i find taxing

and therefore have to take time off of our relationship every now and

then to make sure I'm staying true to me).

It was interesting. I use to be totally spacey when I was younger.

Helped get me in a few car wrecks (one being my fault- the other two

not very good defensive driving on my part). Nada use to say I was

flighty and spacey though and that kind of reinforced the notion. It

was a good coping mechanism in my 20s w/her though I was more in your

face as a teen w/her.

Who knows- maybe in 5 years you won't test the same. The last career

test I took in 2000-2001 said I'd be a good enterpreter or librarian.

I don't think so now days though I still loooooooovvvve books. I only

speak English though- lol- that and nadaspeak which who the hell

really wants to learn to speak the language of a borderline long

term? Oz is nice to visit occassionally, but I don't believing in

mingling w/the inhabitants, much less taking the time to learn the

language though finding a map to navigate is invaluable.

Kerrie

>

> Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

and

> among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

the

> Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

>

> It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

were

> not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

personality

> type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

>

> A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

adaptations

> to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> know/think about this.

>

> Trish

>

[Guest guest]

I took that test and am suprised for the good and bad parts that the

test hit my personality on the head. Made me stop and think. I think

it is a good thing to see yourself for good attributes and faults.

We can always improve on our faults. I am trying. Some of those

traits are so deeply inbedded and the tend to drive who I am.

Personality is who we are. Enviroment shapes it, but the enviroment

effects on us can be changed or improved upon. Who we basically,

will not change that much. I will always be a non conformist, an

intrevert. My brain tends to dimiss things including people not seen

as pertinant information, not necessary for the completion of a

task. I am trying real hard to stop and listen to people, take in

the information and sort through it. Instead of my brain going, ok

enough of what you are saying, I have my answer or the problem is

solved. I never realised I did that. I never knew I tuned people out

like that, till it was pointed out to me in that test and then I

thought OMG I do, do that. I live in my own little world that many

are not allowed to enter. I have to be careful when I close that

door that I don't lock it behind me, that no one will be allowed to

enter in the future. What was your personality type? I am a INTJ.

>

> Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

and

> among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

the

> Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

>

> It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

were

> not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

personality

> type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

>

> A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

adaptations

> to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> know/think about this.

>

> Trish

>

[Guest guest]

Sylvia, thanks for the information. I didn't really know if these

were supposed to be innate or not. That would explain, however, how

each of my siblings and I have very different ways of handling our nada!

Trish

> >

> > Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

> and

> > among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

> the

> > Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

> >

> > It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> > that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> > personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> > KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

> were

> > not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> > criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> > time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

> personality

> > type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

> >

> > A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

> adaptations

> > to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> > like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> > and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> > know/think about this.

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Kerrie, the first time I took this test was for my first job after

college, strangely the employer tested all new employees. It was

basically the same as now. . .I was actually a slightly less

structured type at that time and have learned to be much more " get it

all done! " since then, but have noticed that my overall score is

essentially the same--not that people can't change, just that I

haven't really.

interesting that you were spacy too. Again, I can't decide if it's a

KO survival trait or a true personality trait.

Trish

> >

> > Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

> and

> > among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

> the

> > Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

> >

> > It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> > that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> > personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> > KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

> were

> > not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> > criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> > time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

> personality

> > type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

> >

> > A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

> adaptations

> > to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> > like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> > and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> > know/think about this.

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

, it is funny when you read something and then say, " Oh, I DO do

that! " I was an INFP or an INFJ (I'm kind of borderline right now,

probably because I've had to become much more organized in my life in

the past 4 years). I find the idea that deep down, we all have our

own personalities to be totally comforting. I'm seriously relieved to

know that some of the things I've just always thought were reactions

to a bad childhood or fleas might just be normal parts of my

personality. . .and I can just learn to accept them, even if I do

decide to compensate in some way. The biggest flaws I read about were

slightly different than yours--being overly sensitive to criticism,

being overly aware of what's going on in people's hearts and minds,

desperately needing time alone, and freaking out in situations of

interpersonal conflict(yipes!. This makes a lot more sense of my

coping mechanism for growing up with a BP. I used to go for hikes in

the hills where I'd literaly hide in trees or behind rocks or whatever

for hours or even whole days or nights. Usually I'd go if there was a

rage happening at home, but I guess I just needed the space too.

Trish

> >

> > Hi everyone, I'm in the midst of researching other career options

> and

> > among the resources I found was the Keirsey Termperment sorter or

> the

> > Brigs-Meyers test. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

> >

> > It was kind of weird to see that some of my ways of handling things

> > that I thought were fleas are really also typical traits of certain

> > personailty types. Particularly what got me thinking of the

> > KO/personality type link was when I read that people of my " type "

> were

> > not likely to do well in or appreciate environments with lots of

> > criticism, too much outside control and that they would have a hard

> > time dealing with interpersonal conflict at work. Also, my

> personality

> > type is suppposedly a little " spacey. "

> >

> > A lot of these things, I just thought were reactions to or

> adaptations

> > to life as a KO--it hadn't occured to me that " some people are just

> > like that. " OR, perhaps these personality traits really are learned

> > and are more common for KO's. Just curious to know what you all

> > know/think about this.

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Trish - another INFJ here (also with leanings to INFP!)

Statistics say that we make up 1 - 2% of the population. Perhaps

this is another reason we sometimes feel 'off' from the rest of the

groups we affiliate with. I was particularly taken with your

reference to walks in the hills. I was not able to leave when my

nada raged (she would just rage at me alone, later, had I done

that). However, there was a huge field next to our house, and it

led into woods. I did spend a great deal of time there, alone, and

being in wooded areas is still a special sort of rejuvination for

me.

My nada always accused me of being overly sensitive. We'll, she was

right on that one! lol! Unfortunately, she chose not to help me

deal with this, but instead made me feel inferior because of it.

After learning about my 'type', I decided to respect these aspects

of my personality. Understanding my MBTI has also given me

confidence in what I do.

>

> , it is funny when you read something and then say, " Oh, I DO

do

> that! " I was an INFP or an INFJ (I'm kind of borderline right now,

> probably because I've had to become much more organized in my life

in

> the past 4 years). I find the idea that deep down, we all have our

> own personalities to be totally comforting. I'm seriously

relieved to

> know that some of the things I've just always thought were

reactions

> to a bad childhood or fleas might just be normal parts of my

> personality. . .and I can just learn to accept them, even if I do

> decide to compensate in some way. The biggest flaws I read about

were

> slightly different than yours--being overly sensitive to criticism,

> being overly aware of what's going on in people's hearts and minds,

> desperately needing time alone, and freaking out in situations of

> interpersonal conflict(yipes!. This makes a lot more sense of my

> coping mechanism for growing up with a BP. I used to go for hikes

in

> the hills where I'd literaly hide in trees or behind rocks or

whatever

> for hours or even whole days or nights. Usually I'd go if there

was a

> rage happening at home, but I guess I just needed the space too.

>

> Trish

>

[Guest guest]

> Hi Trish - another INFJ here (also with leanings to INFP!)

> Statistics say that we make up 1 - 2% of the population.

Me too! Although my F-T and J-P scores were almost 50/50 the last

time I took the test (the first time I took it, I was definitely

INFJ), I think because my job encourages those traits.

I've often wondered about the KO vs. personality type thing too. For

instance, how many of us prefer our own company to those of others

because we learned that being around other people was

risky/unpleasant/stressful? Would I have been such a strong

introvert if I had been raised in a different environment, or is it

my perception that makes me react that way? And am I a strong

intuiter because nada required me to " read " her every thought and

emotion, or was I born like that? Interesting to think about, in any

case.

And about INFJs being " spacey " .... I prefer the term " thoughtful " .

> >

> > , it is funny when you read something and then say, " Oh, I

DO

> do

> > that! " I was an INFP or an INFJ (I'm kind of borderline right

now,

> > probably because I've had to become much more organized in my

life

> in

> > the past 4 years). I find the idea that deep down, we all have

our

> > own personalities to be totally comforting. I'm seriously

> relieved to

> > know that some of the things I've just always thought were

> reactions

> > to a bad childhood or fleas might just be normal parts of my

> > personality. . .and I can just learn to accept them, even if I do

> > decide to compensate in some way. The biggest flaws I read

about

> were

> > slightly different than yours--being overly sensitive to

criticism,

> > being overly aware of what's going on in people's hearts and

minds,

> > desperately needing time alone, and freaking out in situations of

> > interpersonal conflict(yipes!. This makes a lot more sense of my

> > coping mechanism for growing up with a BP. I used to go for

hikes

> in

> > the hills where I'd literaly hide in trees or behind rocks or

> whatever

> > for hours or even whole days or nights. Usually I'd go if there

> was a

> > rage happening at home, but I guess I just needed the space too.

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sylvia, it is a HUGE relief to be able to accept that sometimes I just

am this way, because people are just the way they are! Particularly

the sensitive part. I mean, I don't just give it free reign, but I

can tell myself it's ok.

Trish

> >

> > , it is funny when you read something and then say, " Oh, I DO

> do

> > that! " I was an INFP or an INFJ (I'm kind of borderline right now,

> > probably because I've had to become much more organized in my life

> in

> > the past 4 years). I find the idea that deep down, we all have our

> > own personalities to be totally comforting. I'm seriously

> relieved to

> > know that some of the things I've just always thought were

> reactions

> > to a bad childhood or fleas might just be normal parts of my

> > personality. . .and I can just learn to accept them, even if I do

> > decide to compensate in some way. The biggest flaws I read about

> were

> > slightly different than yours--being overly sensitive to criticism,

> > being overly aware of what's going on in people's hearts and minds,

> > desperately needing time alone, and freaking out in situations of

> > interpersonal conflict(yipes!. This makes a lot more sense of my

> > coping mechanism for growing up with a BP. I used to go for hikes

> in

> > the hills where I'd literaly hide in trees or behind rocks or

> whatever

> > for hours or even whole days or nights. Usually I'd go if there

> was a

> > rage happening at home, but I guess I just needed the space too.

> >

> > Trish

> >

>

[Guest guest]

, it's an interesting question you raise about whether you

would have been introverted or extroverted. In my foo, most

interactions are extremely extroverted ones. My parents and brothers

like to gather large groups of people whenever I come to visit and

have these loud and (for me draining) conversations where everyone

talks at once and you have to compete to get noticed at all. I

adapted when I was younger by acting more extroverted than I was in

group situations and then sneaking off to recover on my own! Now, I

try to avoid the craziest foo fests or, at least, limit the time I

spend in them--I think I've become more true to myself in these later

years.

Trish

> > >

> > > , it is funny when you read something and then say, " Oh, I

> DO

> > do

> > > that! " I was an INFP or an INFJ (I'm kind of borderline right

> now,

> > > probably because I've had to become much more organized in my

> life

> > in

> > > the past 4 years). I find the idea that deep down, we all have

> our

> > > own personalities to be totally comforting. I'm seriously

> > relieved to

> > > know that some of the things I've just always thought were

> > reactions

> > > to a bad childhood or fleas might just be normal parts of my

> > > personality. . .and I can just learn to accept them, even if I do

> > > decide to compensate in some way. The biggest flaws I read

> about

> > were

> > > slightly different than yours--being overly sensitive to

> criticism,

> > > being overly aware of what's going on in people's hearts and

> minds,

> > > desperately needing time alone, and freaking out in situations of

> > > interpersonal conflict(yipes!. This makes a lot more sense of my

> > > coping mechanism for growing up with a BP. I used to go for

> hikes

> > in

> > > the hills where I'd literaly hide in trees or behind rocks or

> > whatever

> > > for hours or even whole days or nights. Usually I'd go if there

> > was a

> > > rage happening at home, but I guess I just needed the space too.

> > >

> > > Trish

> > >

> >

>