friend with BPD?

[Guest guest]

Hi lovelies,

So sorry for the lack of attention of late. I came down with a wicked case of

pneumonia,

and have been hidden away in my apartment for a couple weeks.

I'm still catching up on posts, but I wanted to share something that is going

on, and I find

quite painful.

I've mentioned before that I grew up with a bunch of very close friends, all of

us abused at

home. We wound up becoming family to each other, but one of my " sisters " had

always

been in a bad situation. She actually has said herself that she believes she may

have BPD,

but I am certain there is something very seriously wrong.

As her " sister " , I was alarmed this past fall when she emailed me a suicide

note. I was at

her home within an hour, and took her on completely, bathing, dressing, and

feeding her,

ultimately bringing her to an emergency room. She lived with me for a time, and

was a

complete mess. Often very manicky.

She agreed to go to therapy and take meds, but about a week or two in, decided

she was

moving in with someone she had just met, and would touch base with her therapist

now

and then. I expressed my concern about this idea, and the s*** hit the fan.

I've never been harrassed that way, except maybe for my mother. She sent these

vicious

emails, berating me, calling into question everything I believed in. She said I

was weak,

and my mother's pawn, and too dependent on therapy. She would even fwd these

emails

to groups of friends so everyone we knew could follow along. Ultimately, she

said I needed

to cut off all contact with my parents, partner, and therapist if I wanted her

in my life.

It is very hard not to believe her attacks. I do believe that I'm weak, after

awhile, and that I

" have it all wrong " . Well, today, after about 7 mos of NC, she emailed me,

recommening I

get into a serious meditation program, criticizing me for my closed mind about

her

journey, and letting me know if she had listened to me and stayed in therapy she

would

have really been a mess. There was a lot of " what you just don't get is... "

Somehow she just

cuts to the most vulnerable part of me, and I feel sickened by it.

Up until this incident, she put me on a pedastal. I could do know wrong, and she

would

contstantly tell me how amazing I was. Now it is the opposite, and very painful.

I carry the

pain all the time, and this just reopened the wound.

I really feel ill.

She always does this: you're just a victim of your parents, and you need to

learn to be

brave like me and really ADDRESS this stuff on a spiritual journey, not just

talk in circles in

therapy.

What do you think? Her words are following me around, and the similarities to my

situation with my mother are amazing. Somehow this is more painful right now,

because I

wasn't expect it. I forgot my own rule: if someone turns against everyone at

some point,

ultimately you will be " someone. " I thought I was exempt. Stupid.

Miss you all,

Tami