Re: Fear of Contact-Grace

[Guest guest]

Hi Grace,

My 'coping' mechanism is also sleep. Once realizing that I was sleeping 12

- 15 hours at a time, I asked my dr. for antidepressants. That was my

lifeline back to reality. I am not ashamed, or remorseful, about going on

Celexa;

it helps me find the 'middle' ground of my emotional being.

What is left of my dad is a simple core of self preservation; he can think

only so far as how to keep nada out of his face. He reviles me for

'aggravating her'...giving her cause to blame him for her poor relationship with

me.

My 'Dad' checked out years ago.

Sister hugs, Carol

In a message dated 6/11/2006 1:11:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

butifulgrace@... writes:

Wise wise WISE words. I am sure in many situations our fada's came from

their own dysfunctional homes with their own issues to be so easily hoovered

into the land of nada. As my brother and I have begun to set some firm and

successful boundaries with nada, we are watching her turn on fada and begin to

distroy what is left of him. It is heartbreaking.

I firmly believe that we develop coping mechanisms that are best for us.

Disassociating is one of those, as long as you come back and out of it in a

reasonable amount of time. My coping mechanism is sleep. I shut down and turn

off in all ways. It is ok to do that as long as I get back out of bed!

BUtifulGrace

getevenpersevere@... wrote:

Even if it is disassociating, if it makes the reality easier to digest ...

then go ahead and disassociate. You will be back, stronger than ever.

It takes enormous energy to suffer your Dad's making excuses for her

behavior; but you must remember that HE is her primary victim. She can

destroy him,

and will, if he defies her will. It might be that he is doing only what he

needs to do to survive. He doesn't mean to abandon you, but cannot find any

other way out for himself. I know this is a harsh reality; but our 'dishrag'

fathers were the original hostages. We, the children, are collateral

damage. Carol