Home truths: plastic surgery - no longer a booby prize for lad mags

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> > Date: Tue, 06 Sep 2005 11:31:36 -0600

> From: Ilena Rose <ilena03@...>

> Subject: Home truths: plastic surgery - no longer a

> booby prize for lad mags

> <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>

>

>

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>

> Home truths: plastic surgery - no longer a booby

> prize for lad mags

> (Filed: 06/09/2005)

>

>

> takes a stand against boob jobs

>

> After repressing a puerile snigger that the British

> Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons - which

> yesterday inveighed against the awarding of boob

> jobs as prizes in competitions - is called " baps "

> for short by the medical profession, I gave a cheer.

>

> " To embark on surgical procedures as prizes in

> trivial competitions is a practice bound for tears

> and catastrophe, " warned Adam Searle, the

> association's president.

>

> I'll say. The lads' mag Zoo urged readers to " bag a

> new set of rib lamps " for their " lady " . It invited

> men to send in photographs of their girlfriends'

> inferior breasts and name the pair of celebrity, um,

> baps they would like them replaced with.

>

> The winner - for want of a better word - of this

> classy contest won breast surgery worth £4,000, but

> she'd have done much better pocketing the money and

> dumping her lowlife of a boyfriend in favour of the

> sort of decent chap who never stops feeling grateful

> that the right bits are roughly where they should

> be.

>

> I was even more chilled by the woman's magazine Top

> Sante, which over the summer offered readers an

> extreme makeover as a prize. This did not mean that

> the lucky winner's wardrobe got a going-over by

> Trinny and nah, with the tears and humiliation

> and bitchery that are skinny Ms Woodall's

> stock-in-trade.

> No, it was even scarier. The prize was a major

> operation performed by Transform, a private cosmetic

> surgery company.

>

> Top Sante defended this gimmick by publishing a

> survey suggesting that 95 per cent of women were

> unhappy with their bodies. Zoo defended its offer by

> arguing that having a boob job was a lifestyle

> choice made by thousands and a top prize, basically.

>

> What tosh. I think the surgeons are right to stamp

> on this, and point out that these competitions

> drastically downplay the potential risks. But when

> the surgeons warn that the message being sent out is

> that plastic surgery is a commodity, and can be

> purchased mindlessly, I wonder about poachers and

> gamekeepers. When my eight-year-old saw a picture in

> a newspaper of a bandage-wrapped patient lying in

> hospital the other day, he asked, " Did he have

> plastic surgery? " I told my son that no, the patient

> was actually a victim of MRSA. I was shocked that

> plastic surgery was even on his radar, but it wasn't

> such a silly question, when you consider that sick

> people now try to stay out of hospitals for as long

> as they can, while healthy people queue up to enter

> clinics for cosmetic surgery they simply don't need.

>

> When I broke my nose for the second time in two

> years, I went to a top Harley Street plastic surgeon

> (and BAAPS member). I admit that I was considering

> having a nose job, even though I could breathe fine.

> So the surgeon made a video, and took profile shots

> of my hooter. Then we sat back to watch the gruesome

> video of the inside of my nose, on a big screen,

> while the surgeon's emitted a ball-by-ball

> commentary on all my lumps and bumps.

>

> Finally, he said I was a good candidate for

> rhinoplasty, and that it would cost £8,000. At this

> point, I walked out, saying that my nose worked

> perfectly well. But there was no doubt that the

> surgeon was ready to do it, if I wanted to. I have

> taken a righteously tough line against any sort of

> cosmetic surgery ever since.

>

> Which explains why I thought rather less of Shane

> Warne when I found out to my horror that his spiky

> barnet was the work of topical treatment from the

> Advanced Hair Studio. But I have softened. I read

> that Shaney was teased for his thinning locks, and

> took steps. I think that's brave, and can look at

> Shane's lush new wicket almost with admiration.

> After all, there is a disgraceful double standard

> applying to plastic surgery.

> Women can order new " rib lamps " as easily (or with

> as much difficulty) as they can a new Chloé handbag,

> and everyone is expected to celebrate their new

> acquisitions. I know two women who had breast

> enhancements to celebrate their divorces (the

> ex-husbands paid). But when men (think Trump,

> Nicky Haslam, Shane Warne) so much as use a splodge

> of fake tan, let alone purchase surgery, wigs, hair

> implants, or any other cosmetic medical procedures

> that women apply as a matter of course, we laugh and

> point.

>

> 's 'The Mummy Diaries' is out in

> paperback this week (Penguin, £6.99)

>

>

> ~~~~~~~~~

>

> For the very real dangers of breast implants, please

> visit:

>

> www.BreastImplantAwareness.org

>