Guest guest Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 hahahaha! I looove it. we need to write a book. nan > > > > Good morning, > > > > Like many of you I spent weeks agonizing over what to do (or not > do) > > for Mother's Day. I had decided not to recognize it at all, as I > > have been working on trying to live authentically. (Making > decisions > > based on my true feelings and being honest.) > > > > I have always remembered her birthday with a card, but this > holiday > > seemed different, in that it represented our relationship as > mother > > and daughter. A relationship that is pretty much non-existent > since > > I have been NC or LC for three years now. > > > > A few days after Mother's Day, I received an envelope at work (she > > will only send mail to my workplace since she disapproves of my > > relationship and feels that my behavior is being influenced). It > > contained three cards that I had sent to her for past Mother's > Days > > along with the following letter: > > > > " Dear Sherri, > > I found these cards and thought you might like to remember them. > > It's difficult for me to believe that the same person who wrote > > these loving cards is the same person who has now acquired an > angry > > heart toward me. Your long and unacceptable behavior reached a > peak > > when you coldn't even acknowledge me as your mother on mother's > day. > > I don't need anything further to convince me that you have chosen > to > > finally close the door to any relationship for us. I will respect > > your wishes. In spite of everything, I can still honestly close > with > > Love you- > > Mom " > > > > I'm tired.... > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Hey somewhere in thread from way back right before Momsters day, somebody posted a parody on Hallmark, calling it Hellmark - when you care enough to send the very worst. Get that one together, print these gems up and start profiting form our misery. nan > > > > > > Good morning, > > > > > > Like many of you I spent weeks agonizing over what to do (or not > > do) > > > for Mother's Day. I had decided not to recognize it at all, as I > > > have been working on trying to live authentically. (Making > > decisions > > > based on my true feelings and being honest.) > > > > > > I have always remembered her birthday with a card, but this > > holiday > > > seemed different, in that it represented our relationship as > > mother > > > and daughter. A relationship that is pretty much non-existent > > since > > > I have been NC or LC for three years now. > > > > > > A few days after Mother's Day, I received an envelope at work > (she > > > will only send mail to my workplace since she disapproves of my > > > relationship and feels that my behavior is being influenced). It > > > contained three cards that I had sent to her for past Mother's > > Days > > > along with the following letter: > > > > > > " Dear Sherri, > > > I found these cards and thought you might like to remember them. > > > It's difficult for me to believe that the same person who wrote > > > these loving cards is the same person who has now acquired an > > angry > > > heart toward me. Your long and unacceptable behavior reached a > > peak > > > when you coldn't even acknowledge me as your mother on mother's > > day. > > > I don't need anything further to convince me that you have chosen > > to > > > finally close the door to any relationship for us. I will > respect > > > your wishes. In spite of everything, I can still honestly close > > with > > > Love you- > > > Mom " > > > > > > I'm tired.... > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Hey Sherri, I got the same kind of 'package' once and saved them for the next mothers day when I enclosed all in a large envelope and sent them back with a note saying, " Hey, this is a fun game! " . Didn't make a bit of difference, but I felt better. -Leslye Ritty wrote: Hi Sherri, The last time someone posted the text of a card like that, somebody else (I think Nan?) translated it into BPD-speak. I found it extremely helpful, as so often my nada's words and actions have absolutely nothing to do with each other. If this is the case for you as well, I will try my hand at translation: Sherri, I found these cards and thought you might like to remember them. (You used to try to please me, and I hope forcing you to relive that time will make you forget that I never deserved it.) It's difficult for me to believe that the same person who wrote these loving cards is the same person who has now acquired an angry heart toward me. (I can't believe you won't take what I dish out at you anymore, just because I won't acknowledge the pain I've caused you.) Your long and unacceptable behavior reached a peak when you coldn't even acknowledge me as your mother on mother's day. (This was My Special Day and YOU ruined it. Even though you have always been unacceptable in my eyes, you should keep trying to please me when I want you to.) I don't need anything further to convince me that you have chosen to finally close the door to any relationship for us. (You reminded me what a bad mother I was and that I don't deserve your affection. I don't want to talk to you either, if you are going to insist on dealing with the reality of this situation.) I will respect your wishes. (It's your fault, as usual . . . but I like being a martyr.) In spite of everything, I can still honestly close with Love you- (Even though you are trying to nurse your broken heart back to health, I will still throw in any guilt trip I can to take the blame away from where it truly belongs -- on me.) I hope some of this will help. If it doesn't apply to your situation, I apologize for putting words in her mouth. I just have heard so mny of these phrases before, knowing that (for my nada) the actions never measure up to the mouth. Take care, > > Good morning, > > Like many of you I spent weeks agonizing over what to do (or not do) > for Mother's Day. I had decided not to recognize it at all, as I > have been working on trying to live authentically. (Making decisions > based on my true feelings and being honest.) > > I have always remembered her birthday with a card, but this holiday > seemed different, in that it represented our relationship as mother > and daughter. A relationship that is pretty much non-existent since > I have been NC or LC for three years now. > > A few days after Mother's Day, I received an envelope at work (she > will only send mail to my workplace since she disapproves of my > relationship and feels that my behavior is being influenced). It > contained three cards that I had sent to her for past Mother's Days > along with the following letter: > > " Dear Sherri, > I found these cards and thought you might like to remember them. > It's difficult for me to believe that the same person who wrote > these loving cards is the same person who has now acquired an angry > heart toward me. Your long and unacceptable behavior reached a peak > when you coldn't even acknowledge me as your mother on mother's day. > I don't need anything further to convince me that you have chosen to > finally close the door to any relationship for us. I will respect > your wishes. In spite of everything, I can still honestly close with > Love you- > Mom " > > I'm tired.... > --------------------------------- 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time with theYahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Leslye, I love your way of handling this! Scary, I’ve thought something similar. First off, though, does it seem odd, maybe even creepy, that smothers save up Mother’s Day cards? My daughter doesn’t think I turned out too badly as a parent but I don’t save her cards to me from year to year. Maybe I should but geez, they’re cards, not gold bricks. Worse yet when my smom saves them from her least favourite child, right? I’m asking because of Sherri’s post and because this year, for my fiftieth birthday, my smom (almost 80, moved into my house after leaving my equally NPD dad) handed me a card. She said “I didn’t sign this so you can leave it unsigned and give it to S (my 25 yo daughter).” I thanked her for her very ish approach to my big day. The card? As I recall, the outside said “Many years ago, I gave birth to the sweetest baby on earth” and inside said “What the hell happened?” By the way, I’m producing my own version of that card for smom’s upcoming 80th birthday. The outside will read “80 years ago, your mother gave birth” and inside will read “What the hell happened?” and I won’t sign it in case she wants to reuse it. Because I’m thoughtful that way. Edmonton Gal L Kay wrote: Hey Sherri, I got the same kind of 'package' once and saved them for the next mothers day when I enclosed all in a large envelope and sent them back with a note saying, " Hey, this is a fun game! " . Didn't make a bit of difference, but I felt better. -Leslye --------------------------------- Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Better idea - why not save the one she 'gave' to you, use a marker to draw a line through the " I " and substitute the words " your mother " , then send it back to her. You don't have to spend a dime, and being thoughtful, you KNOW that she wouldn't ever send you a card she would not like receiving for herself, so.... See??? This is a FUN game! -Leslye Nan wrote: Leslye, I love your way of handling this! Scary, I’ve thought something similar. First off, though, does it seem odd, maybe even creepy, that smothers save up Mother’s Day cards? My daughter doesn’t think I turned out too badly as a parent but I don’t save her cards to me from year to year. Maybe I should but geez, they’re cards, not gold bricks. Worse yet when my smom saves them from her least favourite child, right? I’m asking because of Sherri’s post and because this year, for my fiftieth birthday, my smom (almost 80, moved into my house after leaving my equally NPD dad) handed me a card. She said “I didn’t sign this so you can leave it unsigned and give it to S (my 25 yo daughter).” I thanked her for her very ish approach to my big day. The card? As I recall, the outside said “Many years ago, I gave birth to the sweetest baby on earth” and inside said “What the hell happened?” By the way, I’m producing my own version of that card for smom’s upcoming 80th birthday. The outside will read “80 years ago, your mother gave birth” and inside will read “What the hell happened?” and I won’t sign it in case she wants to reuse it. Because I’m thoughtful that way. Edmonton Gal L Kay wrote: Hey Sherri, I got the same kind of 'package' once and saved them for the next mothers day when I enclosed all in a large envelope and sent them back with a note saying, " Hey, this is a fun game! " . Didn't make a bit of difference, but I felt better. -Leslye --------------------------------- Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 Yes, that is a better idea. Sadly, I’m still downsizing so I’m sure I threw the card out. How thoughtless of me tsk tsk. Think I’ll punish myself by doing the laundry. My smom lives in the basement suite of my house, the same level where my laundry room is located. Thursday night she squawked something about maybe she should move out and I said yes you should. We’re now in day two of the silent treatment, projected to end sometime later today or tomorrow. Her bf returns from the US on Tuesday. Yippee! FYI, my stbxBPh walked out Dec 1/06; I made sure his stuff walked out in mid-Feb/07; smother & her p/t bf moved in during March; my 800 sq ft house is already filled with so much drama and confusion there isn’t much room for stuff I won’t be using. -- Edmonton Gal ========== Better idea - why not save the one she 'gave' to you, use a marker to draw a line through the " I " and substitute the words " your mother " , then send it back to her. You don't have to spend a dime, and being thoughtful, you KNOW that she wouldn't ever send you a card she would not like receiving for herself, so.... See??? This is a FUN game! -Leslye Nan <subtractgyahoo (DOT) com> wrote: Leslye, I love your way of handling this! Scary, I’ve thought something similar <snip> The card? As I recall, the outside said “Many years ago, I gave birth to the sweetest baby on earth” and inside said “What the hell happened?” L Kay <kaysouth57yahoo (DOT) com> wrote: Hey Sherri, I got the same kind of 'package' once and saved them for the next mothers day when I enclosed all in a large envelope and sent them back with a note saying, " Hey, this is a fun game! " . Didn't make a bit of difference, but I felt better. -Leslye --------------------------------- Expecting? Get great news right away with email Auto-Check. Try the Yahoo! Mail Beta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 oh my i have tears in my eyes form lauging at this one. I love it i love it i love it! thanks for the laugh, Kay. nan > > > > Good morning, > > > > Like many of you I spent weeks agonizing over what to do (or not > do) > > for Mother's Day. I had decided not to recognize it at all, as I > > have been working on trying to live authentically. (Making > decisions > > based on my true feelings and being honest.) > > > > I have always remembered her birthday with a card, but this > holiday > > seemed different, in that it represented our relationship as > mother > > and daughter. A relationship that is pretty much non-existent > since > > I have been NC or LC for three years now. > > > > A few days after Mother's Day, I received an envelope at work (she > > will only send mail to my workplace since she disapproves of my > > relationship and feels that my behavior is being influenced). It > > contained three cards that I had sent to her for past Mother's > Days > > along with the following letter: > > > > " Dear Sherri, > > I found these cards and thought you might like to remember them. > > It's difficult for me to believe that the same person who wrote > > these loving cards is the same person who has now acquired an > angry > > heart toward me. Your long and unacceptable behavior reached a > peak > > when you coldn't even acknowledge me as your mother on mother's > day. > > I don't need anything further to convince me that you have chosen > to > > finally close the door to any relationship for us. I will respect > > your wishes. In spite of everything, I can still honestly close > with > > Love you- > > Mom " > > > > I'm tired.... > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > 8:00? 8:25? 8:40? Find a flick in no time > with theYahoo! Search movie showtime shortcut. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 LOL! patinage Hey Sherri, I got the same kind of 'package' once and saved them for the next mothers day when I enclosed all in a large envelope and sent them back with a note saying, " Hey, this is a fun game! " . Didn't make a bit of difference, but I felt better. -Leslye > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's on, when. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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