Re: Re: Will the heart always ache?

[Guest guest]

Hi Deanna,

After reading a post you sent to another person about not telling others what

to do I thought about my note to you that i sent previously. I hope you didn't

think I was telling you what to do. Possibly joining a class. I was trying to

share something that works for me( i have similar feelings as you) and just

wanted to through it out there. Maybe you were just wanting people to listen

and not make suggestions. Sorry if I crossed a line. Sometimes I want to fix

or take away people's hurt and cross lines. Sorry if I did this!

I have to get in a car and drive six hours to see my husbands Grandmother who

isn't doing well. I can't seem to make myself go! I think I am addicted to

this sight! It is so nice to have people listen who totally understand .

Everyone believes you and you don't have to defend yourself. It is glorious.

vegdeanna wrote:

I too can relate to every word.

This may be another " no duh " moment, but check out what you wrote...

It just hurts some times so badly and I don't even know why?

>

> I did just spend time with nada and fada....and there were moments I

> wanted to scream, because of the intensity and the negativity.

We're so conditioned that we " have to " deal with them and put up with

their crap and do what they say, that sometimes we can't even see the

connections between our lousy moods and their " chipping away " at us.

I am right there with you both!

-Deanna

> Do we blame it all on our childhoods? Here I sit so sad,

with a huge

> lump in my throat holding back the tears. It just hurts some times so

> badly and I don't even know why?

>

> I did just spend time with nada and fada....and there were moments I

> wanted to scream, because of the intensity and the negativity. So I

> made a boundary and left.

>

> I go to therapy regularly, take the prozac, read the healthy books,

> and yet this void is still there.

>

> They will truly never get the heartaches of my childhood, adolscence

> and adulthood and how it has affected so many of my choices,

> decisions, outcomes and feelings.

>

> I want to say it is one particular thing, I can pinpoint this on, it

> is just the wearing down on my soul, I know better, but sometimes the

> hurt and the pain are two feelings I can always count on being there

> for me. That at times just sucks.

>

> Thanks for letting me vent.

>

> Tomorrow brings a new day and new hope for all of us.

>

> Blessings,

> Malinda

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> ---------------------------------

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