Re: Nada patterns, anyone else seen this

[Guest guest]

Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common with BPD

and/or NPD? They are perpetually suffering some sort of illness, or so they

think, sometimes I seriously think they create/fake the symptoms so that

people will pay them attention.

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[Guest guest]

, MY nada seems more inclined toward Munchausen-by-proxy (and

exploiting the considerable illness -- kidney failure and diabetes from age

4 -- that I would have had anyway).

Fun explaining to your nephrologist and renal social worker that you caught

nada salting your food (a non-no when you're on dialysis.

-

(thankfully I was able to move out of nada/dishrag's house, get a

pancreas/kidney transplant, and am now packing with my boyfriend for our

move to Seattle, which is almost as far away from here as I can get and

still be in the continental US)

>

> Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common with BPD

> and/or NPD?

>

[Guest guest]

I wondered about Munchausen syndrome and BPD. In the later years of my

teenage life, the only time my mom was remotely nice to me, as in

sweet and kind and loving, was when I was sick. Maybe because she felt

more in control, I don't know. She demands, even now, that I come home

immediately when I'm ill, despite the fact that I'm 600 miles away, in

college, and have my own life.

I wonder how much that relates to the fact that I suffer with an

autoimmune disorder and chronic fatigue now that I'm an adult. I'm

sure the stress doesn't help either.

>

> Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common with BPD

> and/or NPD? They are perpetually suffering some sort of illness, or

so they

> think, sometimes I seriously think they create/fake the symptoms so that

> people will pay them attention.

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm 50 years old, and looking back over all the years I've been

struggling with my mom's dysfunctional behavior, one of the most

prominent aspects was her desire for control. Things were peachy

when I was a charming, compliant child. When adolescence rolled

around, however, I was dumbfounded by her hostility, accusations and

general nastiness.

I believe her desperate need for control is manifested by a couple of

things. In conversations now, she consistently refers back to sweet,

soppy, overly sentimental scenes from my early childhood, even

manufacturing details that never occurred, or that she

misunderstood. I believe this is because she longs for the days when

SHE was the MOTHER...the all-knowing, all-seeing, all-controlling

dispenser of all things good.

The other symptom was, just as you've described, her rare displays of

loving concern when I was ill or injured. It set me up to

unconsciously learn to capitalize on the sick role. It was only when

I left home and married a non-BP, wonderful husband, that I was able

to stop seeking loving attention by being sick or hurt.

Even now, when she's 82 and I'm 50 (the charming child left far

behind!) she tries to coo over and mother me when I'm ill. It makes

me unreasonably furius, and I don't share my rare illnesses often

with her. My advice is to just keep it to yourself if you can, tough

it out at college and skip the 600 mile journey. For my mom, anyway,

it wasn't about genuine concern. It was an affirmation that she was

in control.

> >

> > Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common

with BPD

> > and/or NPD? They are perpetually suffering some sort of illness,

or

> so they

> > think, sometimes I seriously think they create/fake the symptoms

so that

> > people will pay them attention.

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>I wonder how much that relates to the fact that I suffer with an

>autoimmune disorder and chronic fatigue now that I'm an adult. I'm

>sure the stress doesn't help either.

Many of the people who post here have talked about various autoimmune

diseases. I read somewhere (sorry, can't remember where) that if a

child is born into a very stressful situation and the stress continues

it somehow affects the development of the brain and the person becomes

more apt to have autoimmune problems. I have tons of allergies, (I

always say I was just sent to the wrong planet) asthma, and now the

past 5 years or so I have Type 2 diabetes. All of these are

autoimmune diseases. And I was born into a very high stress home. My

sister says my mom was very ill when I was born. Looking back my

sister thinks she suffered from post-partem depression. She said she

had a crazy look in her eyes at the time. She tells me I cried

continuously for the first while and that she, not my mother, was the

one who rocked me for hours on end trying to get me to sleep. There

is probably a good chance that your autoimmune disorder comes from

early stress in your life. Dee

[Guest guest]

Yeah I did notice that. Good point.

>

> Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common

with BPD

> and/or NPD? They are perpetually suffering some sort of illness,

or so they

> think, sometimes I seriously think they create/fake the symptoms

so that

> people will pay them attention.

>

>

>

>

>

> Send instant messages to your online friends

http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

, I know that someone mentioned to me that this was the topic of

an old thread but when I searched for it I didn't find a lot. I have

noticed that when my nada is sick, she complains incessantly as if she

was the only one who ever experienced pain. When the rest of us are

sick, she is absolutely heartless, doesn't notice and makes

unreasonable demands on us. Like the time when she made me carry all

of my heavy stuff and boxes right after I'd just had malaria!!!!! WTF?

You'd think she could have had one of my huge brothers or my dad help

me even if she didn't want to. She didn't seem to care that I should

have been hospitalized and wasn't, that just the day before I had been

shaking and twitching with fever and dehydration and that just getting

up made me lightheaded to the point that I had to sit down every few

minutes. URGH! I am, in fact, still pissed about that. When she

catches a cold someone else in the family had, she'll try to argue

that she is sicker than the rest of us were. Sigh.

Trish

>

> Has anyone else noticed that Munchausen syndrome is very common with BPD

> and/or NPD? They are perpetually suffering some sort of illness, or

so they

> think, sometimes I seriously think they create/fake the symptoms so that

> people will pay them attention.

>

>

>

>

>

> Send instant messages to your online friends

http://au.messenger.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I'm 50 years old, and looking back over all the years I've been

>struggling with my mom's dysfunctional behavior, one of the most

>prominent aspects was her desire for control. Things were peachy

>when I was a charming, compliant child. When adolescence rolled

>around, however, I was dumbfounded by her hostility, accusations and

>general nastiness.

You have just described my life too. It was when I started to have a

mind of my own in adolescence that the drama began for me. If I saw

it before I don't remember. But suddenly, I was constantly hurting

her deeply. She wasn't so much of a hostile person or a witch, but

she had a master's degree in guilt. If we disagreed, she was never

happy til I was in tears. My sweet elderly grandmother, who was with

us for 3 months of each year, would take me aside and reassure me that

it wasn't me. She would say my mother was going through a rough time.

(Menopause I guess).

My mother's main thing in life was control and for a while I had that

flea too. I realize looking back that I was too forceful and

controlling with my children some of the time. It has been such a

relief to recognize that and make the necessary changes I needed to.

I have talked with each of my children and made apology to them. They

have been very forgiving and we all share a better relationship with

each other as a result.

My mom at 96 is still trying to maintain control of all of us. Yes,

her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren (of which there

are now 60). I think in some ways she is enmeshed with us all and

feels responsible to see that we don't do something stupid. It drives

us crazy. She is also trying to keep control in her own life and

there is very little she can control now. I think that is one of the

main reasons she is so very unhappy now.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that you have a parallel life

experience with me in many respects. By the way I am 62 now. Dee