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Re: A Sad Day

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Hi Debby!

As I shared yesterday; my grandma developed a malignant tumor on her throat. Our family decided against treatment and even do it was hard for them to do that it was a decision made out of love. We don't want her to go thru any unnecesary suffering. I hope you got the card I

sent and I will keep you and your family in prayer.

TONY

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Debby-

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother today. I know

tha right decisions will be made. Hugs, Joanna

-- In @y..., " tdcc " <tdcc2000@e...> wrote:

> I want to thank each one of you again for all of your love and

kindnesses. Today, my brother provided the hospital with the Power

Of Attorney for my mom. I have that power. However, today, Mom was

more confused that ever with everything. She had a few moments where

she was lucid, but not many.

>

> The doctor did an ammonia test today and it was quite normal, which

leads us all to believe that the cancer has invaded her brain.

Before we discontinue her treatment, we will probably allow an MRI to

be done before making any final withdrawals of meds for Mom. That is

the hardest things to do.

>

> I am so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want to be guilty

of 'killing' my mom. I want to make the right decision. It is cruel

to have he be treated for a cancer that is NOT going to be cured. It

is cruel to take away that chance too, but I know Mom would be

horrified if she knew what she is like.

>

> I just thank God that she is in no pain....or at least she is not

acknowledging it. That is the best thing so far.

>

> Well...thank you all for listening.

> debby

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Debby is not cruel to help someone you love. As long as she's kept comfortable and is in not pain that is all you can ask for. We had to do the same for my mom. Just kept her comfortable. Talk to her as if she knows what you are saying, because that's something we don't know. I know how hard this has to be on you. You are in my prayers as is your mom. Don't feel that by taking treatments away that you are doing her harm. I'm sure the doctor can advise you on what's best. God Bless and keep strong. Ann CT [ ] A sad day I want to thank each one of you again for all of your love and kindnesses. Today, my brother provided the hospital with the Power Of Attorney for my mom. I have that power. However, today, Mom was more confused that ever with everything. She had a few moments where she was lucid, but not many. The doctor did an ammonia test today and it was quite normal, which leads us all to believe that the cancer has invaded her brain. Before we discontinue her treatment, we will probably allow an MRI to be done before making any final withdrawals of meds for Mom. That is the hardest things to do. I am so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want to be guilty of 'killing' my mom. I want to make the right decision. It is cruel to have he be treated for a cancer that is NOT going to be cured. It is cruel to take away that chance too, but I know Mom would be horrified if she knew what she is like. I just thank God that she is in no pain....or at least she is not acknowledging it. That is the best thing so far. Well...thank you all for listening. debby

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Debby

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What you are going

through is not easy, I know my Mom passed away from lung CA that had spread

to her brain. We just keep her comfortable and let her go to sleep.

Glo

>From: " tdcc " <tdcc2000@...>

>Reply-

>< >

>Subject: [ ] A sad day

>Date: Sat, 2 Mar 2002 22:35:14 -0800

>

>I want to thank each one of you again for all of your love and kindnesses.

>Today, my brother provided the hospital with the Power Of Attorney for my

>mom. I have that power. However, today, Mom was more confused that ever

>with everything. She had a few moments where she was lucid, but not many.

>

>The doctor did an ammonia test today and it was quite normal, which leads

>us all to believe that the cancer has invaded her brain. Before we

>discontinue her treatment, we will probably allow an MRI to be done before

>making any final withdrawals of meds for Mom. That is the hardest things

>to do.

>

>I am so afraid of doing the wrong thing. I don't want to be guilty of

>'killing' my mom. I want to make the right decision. It is cruel to have

>he be treated for a cancer that is NOT going to be cured. It is cruel to

>take away that chance too, but I know Mom would be horrified if she knew

>what she is like.

>

>I just thank God that she is in no pain....or at least she is not

>acknowledging it. That is the best thing so far.

>

>Well...thank you all for listening.

>debby

_________________________________________________________________

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  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

hi jeanette, i have no idea whats been going on , i have been in leeds all week.

but i just dont understand who could possibly be so evil as to attack bert and

jerry, 2 of the kindest people i have evr had the priveledge to know. hope you

join berts group.

love and hugs

anita

>

> From: Jeanette Carpenter <jeanette_cuk@...>

> Date: Tue 03/Jun/2003 16:47 GMT

>

> Subject: [ ] A sad day

>

> I don't know what has been going on and I don't really care all that matters

at the moment is that two very special people have been badly hurt for no reason

other than wanting to help people in any way they can. It is your loss now.

> Yesterday I wrote needing support and comfort, when I opened my mail this

morning there was not one answer, what has happened to you all there is so much

hurt in this life living with any diesease why do you feel the need to make it

worse for every one and you know who you are.

> At the moment I am waiting for blood results and tests to let me no weather I

have got cancer or not, along with having AIH and 2 strokes I NEEDED SUPPORT

sadly who ever you are you were too wraped up in causing as much hurt as you

could to care about anything else.

> I am sadly leaving this group and staying with Bert so it is good bye. To the

many friends that I have met here please feel free to mail me personely. To the

person who as caused this trouble don't bother.

> Love and hugs to my friends Jeanette UK

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Plus - For a better Internet experience

>

>

__________________________________________________________________________

Join Freeserve http://www.freeserve.com/time/

Winner of the 2003 Internet Service Providers' Association awards for Best

Unmetered ISP and Best Consumer Application.

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  • 2 years later...

Molly,

I am sorry you are going through this loss. I can second this

warning. I went through this as well, although it was not a close

friend. It was an implanted woman who got my name and phone number

here in Las Vegas and called me in desperation one night. I think

it was 10 pm. She was in horrible pain. I met up with her that same

night--we met in a parking lot and sat in her car and talked. She

cried, I tried to comfort her as best I could, and encourage her to

do what she could to help herself until she could remove her

implants, but she said she couldn't get them out because of her

husband. He just didn't think it was the answer to her health woes,

even though she was suffering terribly. They had two small

children. She gave me her business card (I think she did

scrapbooking or some kind of craft from home.) That was the first

and last time I saw her.

It was several months later when I called to see how she was and her

mother answered the phone. When I asked for her, there was a long

pause, and then I got the same terrible news you did. She had passed

away on an overdose of pain meds.

It was devastating, even though I had only met her once. I don't

know how our nation can sit still when women are suffering like

this, and even begin to talk about bringing silicone gel breast

implants back on the market without feeling shameful about it. It

is a tragedy that children are being left motherless; that families

are suffering; that lives are collapsing under the weight of this

burden of disease; that our nation can be so greedy and cold hearted

as to sweep this all under a rug and pretend that it doesn't exist.

I have cried out many times in prayer that God would answer this

injustice with His righteousness, with His vindication. I always

end up back at Psalm 73. I may not see it in my lifetime, but I

know for certain that He will answer. Someday. And there will be

hell to pay for the wicked.

Psalm 73 A psalm of Asaph.

Surely God is good to Israel,

to those who are pure in heart.

2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;

I had nearly lost my foothold.

3 For I envied the arrogant

when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 They have no struggles;

their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]

5 They are free from the burdens common to man;

they are not plagued by human ills.

6 Therefore pride is their necklace;

they clothe themselves with violence.

7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity ;

the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

8 They scoff, and speak with malice;

in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,

and their tongues take possession of the earth.

10 Therefore their people turn to them

and drink up waters in abundance. [c]

11 They say, " How can God know?

Does the Most High have knowledge? "

12 This is what the wicked are like—

always carefree, they increase in wealth.

13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;

in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

14 All day long I have been plagued;

I have been punished every morning.

15 If I had said, " I will speak thus, "

I would have betrayed your children.

16 When I tried to understand all this,

it was oppressive to me

17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;

then I understood their final destiny.

18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;

you cast them down to ruin.

19 How suddenly are they destroyed,

completely swept away by terrors!

20 As a dream when one awakes,

so when you arise, O Lord,

you will despise them as fantasies.

21 When my heart was grieved

and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;

you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.

I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;

I will tell of all your deeds.

Patty

--- In , " MollyBloom54 " <jawlaw93@y...>

wrote:

> I want to talk about something that is not often discussed in BI

forums. What I want to

> discuss is pain meds. The reason I am bringing this up is because I

> know that many of us have pain from connective tissue disease or

other

> illnesses. Very often, doctors will prescribe pain medications

such as percocet, or darvocet

> or worse (oxycodone). A year ago, I was prescribed oxycodone, and

realized that I did

> not want to continue taking them - they were simply too addictive.

At that time, plaquenil

> was not doing enough to relieve the pain. But there came a point

that the 'cure' was

> worse than the pain. Thank God I was able to see it -- and stop it.

>

> My friend Ann took percocet for chronic pain. Ann was my age, and

she and I

> had much in common. I loved her kindness, her wit and her

intelligence. She had two

> teenage children, and a loving husband. A few months ago, I became

alarmed at how

> depressed she seemed, and many pills she was taking. I tried to

talk her into going into

> treatment (rehab). She finally agreed to go into a 5 day 'detox'.

I picked her up at her

> house, and grabbed her favorite pillow, an overnight bag, and we

drove to the clinic. When

> we arrived, we were met by a nurse who was very understanding and

helped put Ann at

> ease. Ann stayed the 5 days, then went home. I saw Ann a few

times after that, but I

> was busy studying for the bar exam, and didn't see a lot of her.

>

> Ann told me we would celebrate when I passed the exam - go to

lunch and splurge

> on Starbucks frappucino. So today I decided to call her, to share

with her my good

> news. Her husband answered the phone. When I asked for her, he

paused...

> and told me that Ann had died. Ann had apparently decided to take

pain meds

> again... and one day she took too many.

>

> I am very sad today. I know I should not be so selfish, but I

feel cheated. I looked

> forward to having that lunch with Ann. I wanted to share with her

my joy and anticipation

> of working again. But now I can never do that. I can only imagine

what her family is going

> through. There was little I could say to her husband, except how

sorry I was for his loss.

> He lost his wife, and their teenage children lost their mother. I

lost a friend.

>

> Please please be careful of medications. I don't want to lose

another friend.

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Molly,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. :( I can't

imagine how you feel, losing someone so close & so young. Mol, do you

think it was intentional? That is so sad. What was she on pain meds

for? Was she on them long? (Sorry if you already answered those and I

missed it) You are so right, no one ever talks about pain meds on the

sites, yet most of us have joint & muscle pain. As for me, I've been

on pain meds through a pain clinic for 4 yrs. now. Originally, it was

for scar tissue in my abdomen, back then my implant illness hadn't even

really started yet. When I started having implant illness symptoms

(Fibro), my dosees just went up. The abdominal pain is a distant

memory compared to my whole body hurting. Got off the subject a little.

As for Ann, we can only hope, if she intended to do it, that she is no

longer suffering from what took her down that dark path. It's sad that

she didn't reach out, maybe she could've got treated for whatever was

troubling her. Take comfort that she is at peace and I hope you can

find some peace, too. So sorry you have to deal with this loss with

everything else you have going on. I'm here for you if you ever ned to

talk. Take care of yourself Molly!

Luv,

Cheryl

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I do not know for sure, Cheryl, if it was accidental or not.

She had had chronic back pain.

> Molly,

> I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. :( I can't

> imagine how you feel, losing someone so close & so young. Mol, do you

> think it was intentional? That is so sad. What was she on pain meds

> for? Was she on them long? (Sorry if you already answered those and I

> missed it) You are so right, no one ever talks about pain meds on the

> sites, yet most of us have joint & muscle pain. As for me, I've been

> on pain meds through a pain clinic for 4 yrs. now. Originally, it was

> for scar tissue in my abdomen, back then my implant illness hadn't even

> really started yet. When I started having implant illness symptoms

> (Fibro), my dosees just went up. The abdominal pain is a distant

> memory compared to my whole body hurting. Got off the subject a little.

>

> As for Ann, we can only hope, if she intended to do it, that she is no

> longer suffering from what took her down that dark path. It's sad that

> she didn't reach out, maybe she could've got treated for whatever was

> troubling her. Take comfort that she is at peace and I hope you can

> find some peace, too. So sorry you have to deal with this loss with

> everything else you have going on. I'm here for you if you ever ned to

> talk. Take care of yourself Molly!

> Luv,

> Cheryl

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Molly I am so sorry for your loss its nice you have a safe place to come to and share your thought and feelings and also have the support of the group. I am new here but have been reading lots of things that apply to me I think .....no I know I have been in denial for years and still was up until about 6weeks or so. I had mine out about 18 months ago they were in since 74 and leaking and ruptured for god knows how long.I was very LUCKY to meet my wonderful friend Lea I dont know what I would have done. I thought once they were out I was well !!! But I am sorry to say its been and still is a up hill battle. Some days I too like many am tired and sick of running to Dr after Dr but I am learning to handle this the best I can and talking to MY LEA is my saving grace and reading what is posted helps me understand this better. God Bless you Molly

Norma

Re: A Sad Day

I do not know for sure, Cheryl, if it was accidental or not.She had had chronic back pain.> Molly,> I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. :( I can't > imagine how you feel, losing someone so close & so young. Mol, do you > think it was intentional? That is so sad. What was she on pain meds > for? Was she on them long? (Sorry if you already answered those and I > missed it) You are so right, no one ever talks about pain meds on the > sites, yet most of us have joint & muscle pain. As for me, I've been > on pain meds through a pain clinic for 4 yrs. now. Originally, it was > for scar tissue in my abdomen, back then my implant illness hadn't even > really started yet. When I started having implant illness symptoms > (Fibro), my dosees just went up. The abdominal pain is a distant > memory compared to my whole body hurting. Got off the subject a little.> > As for Ann, we can only hope, if she intended to do it, that she is no > longer suffering from what took her down that dark path. It's sad that > she didn't reach out, maybe she could've got treated for whatever was > troubling her. Take comfort that she is at peace and I hope you can > find some peace, too. So sorry you have to deal with this loss with > everything else you have going on. I'm here for you if you ever ned to > talk. Take care of yourself Molly!> Luv,> Cheryl

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Thank you, Norma.

Lea is a gem. She has helped so manyh women, me included. I'm so happy you

finally

had yours removed. I had mine removed in April, 2004, so just about that for me

as well..

I had mine since 1984, and they were most definitely ruptured and had been for a

few

years, I think. I also still have a woeful lack of energy and I have joint pain

- but I am in so

much better h ealth than I was before I had those things removed. I thought I

was going

to die. I really did.

> > Molly,

> > I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. :( I can't

> > imagine how you feel, losing someone so close & so young. Mol, do you

> > think it was intentional? That is so sad. What was she on pain meds

> > for? Was she on them long? (Sorry if you already answered those and I

> > missed it) You are so right, no one ever talks about pain meds on the

> > sites, yet most of us have joint & muscle pain. As for me, I've been

> > on pain meds through a pain clinic for 4 yrs. now. Originally, it was

> > for scar tissue in my abdomen, back then my implant illness hadn't even

> > really started yet. When I started having implant illness symptoms

> > (Fibro), my dosees just went up. The abdominal pain is a distant

> > memory compared to my whole body hurting. Got off the subject a little.

> >

> > As for Ann, we can only hope, if she intended to do it, that she is no

> > longer suffering from what took her down that dark path. It's sad that

> > she didn't reach out, maybe she could've got treated for whatever was

> > troubling her. Take comfort that she is at peace and I hope you can

> > find some peace, too. So sorry you have to deal with this loss with

> > everything else you have going on. I'm here for you if you ever ned to

> > talk. Take care of yourself Molly!

> > Luv,

> > Cheryl

>

>

>

>

>

> Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice given by

licensed health

care professionals. Consult your physician or licensed health care professional

before

commencing any medical treatment.

>

> " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians mislead you.

Find out what

the facts are, and make your own decisions about how to live a happy life and

how to work

for a better world. " - Linus ing, two-time Nobel Prize Winner (1954,

Chemistry; 1963,

Peace)

>

>

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-

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is especially sad

when you know it could have been prevented. You have made some

excellent points about pain and drugs. It is very hard to live in

chronic pain--it can also be hard to live addicted to painkillers

which tend to become less effective as we get used to them. They

not only control pain, but have a host of other side effects. At

one time I felt ativan was a godsend. It helped me get through my

husband's death and made me sleep and appeared to help my fms. But

eventually I got rebound addiction. I was actually experiencing

withdrawal symptoms before the next dose. And I was on a very very

low dose. But I had takem them for about three years by that time.

When I found a website listing all the symptoms they could cause, I

was shocked to find that they could cause as many symptoms as

autoimmune diseases and were capable of causing symptoms for a year

or more after stopping. I got off of them cold turkey (probably not

the best idea) That is why it is essential to detox and get

ourselves out of pain. Patty found that coffee enemas helped her

husband's back pain. Many people find liver cleanses help reduce

pain of all kinds. STretching, yoga, meditation, water exercise,

massage and more can help some pain. I have never been helped by

pain meds so I guess I am fortunate that I am never tempted to take

them. Many people have found success too with accupuncture and

something called NAET. I have said a prayer for your friend's

family.

Hugs, kathy

-- In , " MollyBloom54 " <jawlaw93@y...>

wrote:

> I want to talk about something that is not often discussed in BI

forums. What I want to

> discuss is pain meds. The reason I am bringing this up is because I

> know that many of us have pain from connective tissue disease or

other

> illnesses. Very often, doctors will prescribe pain medications

such as percocet, or darvocet

> or worse (oxycodone). A year ago, I was prescribed oxycodone, and

realized that I did

> not want to continue taking them - they were simply too addictive.

At that time, plaquenil

> was not doing enough to relieve the pain. But there came a point

that the 'cure' was

> worse than the pain. Thank God I was able to see it -- and stop it.

>

> My friend Ann took percocet for chronic pain. Ann was my age, and

she and I

> had much in common. I loved her kindness, her wit and her

intelligence. She had two

> teenage children, and a loving husband. A few months ago, I became

alarmed at how

> depressed she seemed, and many pills she was taking. I tried to

talk her into going into

> treatment (rehab). She finally agreed to go into a 5 day 'detox'.

I picked her up at her

> house, and grabbed her favorite pillow, an overnight bag, and we

drove to the clinic. When

> we arrived, we were met by a nurse who was very understanding and

helped put Ann at

> ease. Ann stayed the 5 days, then went home. I saw Ann a few

times after that, but I

> was busy studying for the bar exam, and didn't see a lot of her.

>

> Ann told me we would celebrate when I passed the exam - go to

lunch and splurge

> on Starbucks frappucino. So today I decided to call her, to share

with her my good

> news. Her husband answered the phone. When I asked for her, he

paused...

> and told me that Ann had died. Ann had apparently decided to take

pain meds

> again... and one day she took too many.

>

> I am very sad today. I know I should not be so selfish, but I

feel cheated. I looked

> forward to having that lunch with Ann. I wanted to share with her

my joy and anticipation

> of working again. But now I can never do that. I can only imagine

what her family is going

> through. There was little I could say to her husband, except how

sorry I was for his loss.

> He lost his wife, and their teenage children lost their mother. I

lost a friend.

>

> Please please be careful of medications. I don't want to lose

another friend.

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Thank you Kathy. What many people do not realize is the 'rebound' effect of

drugs like

pain killers, anti-anxiety drugs and sleeping pills. They can often end up

creating the very

problems they are prescribed to alleviate.

> > I want to talk about something that is not often discussed in BI

> forums. What I want to

> > discuss is pain meds. The reason I am bringing this up is because I

> > know that many of us have pain from connective tissue disease or

> other

> > illnesses. Very often, doctors will prescribe pain medications

> such as percocet, or darvocet

> > or worse (oxycodone). A year ago, I was prescribed oxycodone, and

> realized that I did

> > not want to continue taking them - they were simply too addictive.

> At that time, plaquenil

> > was not doing enough to relieve the pain. But there came a point

> that the 'cure' was

> > worse than the pain. Thank God I was able to see it -- and stop it.

> >

> > My friend Ann took percocet for chronic pain. Ann was my age, and

> she and I

> > had much in common. I loved her kindness, her wit and her

> intelligence. She had two

> > teenage children, and a loving husband. A few months ago, I became

> alarmed at how

> > depressed she seemed, and many pills she was taking. I tried to

> talk her into going into

> > treatment (rehab). She finally agreed to go into a 5 day 'detox'.

> I picked her up at her

> > house, and grabbed her favorite pillow, an overnight bag, and we

> drove to the clinic. When

> > we arrived, we were met by a nurse who was very understanding and

> helped put Ann at

> > ease. Ann stayed the 5 days, then went home. I saw Ann a few

> times after that, but I

> > was busy studying for the bar exam, and didn't see a lot of her.

> >

> > Ann told me we would celebrate when I passed the exam - go to

> lunch and splurge

> > on Starbucks frappucino. So today I decided to call her, to share

> with her my good

> > news. Her husband answered the phone. When I asked for her, he

> paused...

> > and told me that Ann had died. Ann had apparently decided to take

> pain meds

> > again... and one day she took too many.

> >

> > I am very sad today. I know I should not be so selfish, but I

> feel cheated. I looked

> > forward to having that lunch with Ann. I wanted to share with her

> my joy and anticipation

> > of working again. But now I can never do that. I can only imagine

> what her family is going

> > through. There was little I could say to her husband, except how

> sorry I was for his loss.

> > He lost his wife, and their teenage children lost their mother. I

> lost a friend.

> >

> > Please please be careful of medications. I don't want to lose

> another friend.

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