Re: Re: Finances/Paperwork/bumf

[Guest guest]

Oh, heck no! I like the word! (And I am generally one accused of being indelicate.) I was expressing my joy at learning a delightful new word! I work for the state and I am always having to deal with paperwork that I am usually referring to with an impolite word for the stuff that bumfodder is intended to wipe off. I am going to appropriate the word for my own use...so you haven't offended me, you have educated me! ~ "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my VZW BlackBerryDate: Wed, 09 Jun 2010 12:23:10 +0000 (GMT)To: <aspires-relationships >Subject: Re: Re: Finances/Paperwork/bumf Oh ! I hope I havent been indelicate... Its a First World War army term for paperwork and forms, and is actually 'bumfodder' i.e. its all so much toilet paper, or at least, thats what it becomes once its fulfilled its useful (or useless) purpose! Shortened to 'bumf' throughout the years since.... Judy B xxFrom: lisamc8898 <alwaysbe3cox (DOT) net>Subject: [aspires-relationsh ips] Re: FinancesTo: aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) comDate: Tuesday, 8 June, 2010, 15:22 Liz - The is just perfect what you said about the little "trick"!! I think that not knowing how to do it is a big part of why I never approached the subject. I knew what not to do, I just didn't know what to do though. Respect is big for him, as it is with all men, so I'm careful with that.Eva - The mothering part is something I just don't want to do but sometimes feel like I need to. That's where my own resentment comes in and messes things up even further. He does struggle with admin/paperwork too and tries to get me to play secretary. It always felt odd to me and so I resisted. I think the oddness is perhaps his way of coping (which in itself is not a bad thing). I just hate unspoken things, they make me very paranoid. But he doesn't handle speaking about the subtle things like this well - perhaps because of the AS, he struggles and doesn't want to admit to that struggle out of shame or who knows what. Its hard to admit to stuff you justdon't get or find difficult. I mean who wants to admit to not getting/doing something so seemingly "easy" and admin/paperwork! That takes alot of courage and trust in the person you reveal that to. Every person alive has that problem at one time or another; human nature. I like what you said about both of you get "allowances" . Excellent!!Perhaps I'll do a mix of both ideas....thanks guys that really helped alot....