Re: Hi all--long time, no post

November 30, 2010

Hi Sharon.... glad to see you posted... see below in **, my responses

>

> Hey Aspires friends,

> Glad to recognize some of you here at this time...

>

> After long years of agony, I am filing for divorce from my AS hubby of 20 yrs.

** Sorry to hear it's happening, but as I like to say, you've got to look out

after you because no one else will.

> The wake-up calls for me:

>

> 1. He was able to engage in other female relationships online--stroking his

ego/meeting their emotional needs while claiming to be unable to

> address mine. This was an emotional/relational choice, NOT asperger's!

** I agree with you that it sounds like an emotional/relational choice and not

AS. I so do dislike it when people want to use an excuse for something.

> 2. Refusal to get a real job even as we are losing our home, our kids are

facing hunger and homelessness. He previously held jobs, could do so now if

chosen.

** What gets me is that your kids are facing hunger and homelessness and he

wants to play on the computer with other women.

> 3. His apparent commitment to acting emotionally interested in me when HE felt

like it, and to ignore me when I felt like *I* needed some attention. Again, not

AS but chosen behavior based on his likes and preferences...

** I agree here as well. This isn't AS.

> Anyway, many of you held my hand here in years past, when I wanted so badly to

keep the marriage intact, regardless of what it cost me. Now, I get it-- I can

only do my part. The rest was up to him...sigh.

>

> Positive thoughts and prayers are welcome in this time. I sustained a brain

injury 13 months ago. Now, employment options are a challenge during this

difficult time of transition. Hubby will NOT support me and our kids.

>

** Positive thoughts, positive thoughts. You've come this far in your life

already. It may not seem like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel,

but you will. One day at a time, and the light at the end of the tunnel gets a

little bigger and a little bigger (as my mom told me as I was about ready to be

divorced back in 2002).

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