Re: Problems seem so big a night.

[Guest guest]

Lizzy,

I think this is a great idea to get 2 tickets and sit separately from both

of the families who are hurting you! I'm glad you slept on it and thought

of a reasonable solution.

If it was me, and I couldn't get those 2 separate tickets, then I wouldn't

go and I wouldn't encourage my husband go either! Maybe that's not very

mature, but I just thinking about people treating me that way makes me blood

boil! To show my support to my sister and the other family's daughter, I

would probably just send them gifts, and maybe take them out to a

congratulatory dinner on a separate occasion, without mentioning why you

couldn't actually attend the ceremony...because you don't want to trash talk

their parents to them.

Regardless, I would be frank with your husband about how hurtful those

people are being by not giving you a ticket. There's no reason you should

have to hide your feelings from your own husband. That way you can discuss

as a team how you will handle the situation with tact, but without you

having to suffer alone.

-Becky

>

> Thanks everybody for the kind replies. I have to say things seem

> better in the morning. At night it feels so helpless, like I can't

> do anything. But after reading all the responses, I really feel like

> I am not helpless and I can take action. I will write more later but

> for the moment here is my plan…

>

> I called the school and asked if they had tickets for sale, turns

> out they are giving them away. All I have to do is go pick them up.

> Now I really think it was out of control that this lady said she

> only had 6 and could not give one to me. So I got ready and I am

> going to go get a ticket for myself, in fact I think I will pick up

> two, b/c then dh will not feel obligated to sit with the other

> family and we can sit in neutral territory (alone!)! So I hope that

> they will give me the tickets when I show up I am crossing my

> fingers! If they only give them to parents I will call my dad and

> ask him if I can have one or two of theirs. On my way home I am

> going to stop and see my grandma. She was thrilled I am taking

> action and both my grandma and aunt want to send cards with money or

> my sister since they have not seen her for over 5 years either. So

> that is my plan. I hope it works. I know dh will be angry b/c the

> trip is pretty long about 3 hours round trip. He does not like

> unnecessary driving, but sometimes I have to put my foot down and do

> what is best for me. Wish me luck I will write more later. Thanks

> again you guys are life savers

> LOTS OF LOVE Lizzy

>

> PS, Edmonton Gal Welcome so much to the group I will write you later

> you are very kind and wise!

>

>

> >

> > Hi Lizzy, hi everyone, I'm new here and haven't formally intro'd

> myself. Not much to say besides the usual " the wolves who raised me

> were a bit dysfunctional which explains so much, doesn't it? " .

> >

> > Lizzy, I really feel for your situation and can only ask four

> questions:

> > 1) Is it possible to repaint the " taint " of getting another

> ticket, so you can see an extra ticket as the way in which you and

> your husband can support two sisters and each other?

> > 2) Is there any way to contact the school, to ask about getting

> another ticket? (especially since the other family's parents are

> divorcing -- it isn' t unusual to require more than the minimum

> amount of tickets to grads here in Canada during parental

> separation/divorce)

> > 3) Is your brother-in-law so closely knit with the family that

> he'll suffer tremendously if he gives you his ticket (especially

> knowing you're trying to get another ticket from the school)?

> > 4) Are you comfortable " hiding " the hurt from your husband, and

> are you comfortable that he won't figure out on his own that you're

> hurting from the abusive behaviour of two families?

> >

> >

> > These are my only comments:

> > You are demonstrating great composure and class. It's none of my

> business but I wonder if your husband doesn't deserve to know your

> feelings so he can fully support whatever decision you make, instead

> of maybe accidentally saying something that adds to your pain. This

> is not a small thing. It's a big hurt. And I'm sorry you're feeling

> such hurt, and I am sure you will get much better input from others

> in this group.

> >

> > And yes, problems always seem so big at night.

> >

> > Edmonton Gal

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Yahoo! oneSearch: Finally, mobile search that gives answers, not

> web links.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yes! I'm delighted that things seem to be working out (so far)!

Sometimes you have to stand up to abuse by saying that yourself is

more important...and sometimes you have to stand up to it by saying an

outside thing is more important...tricky situations to learn...

Best of luck!

Violetta

> >

> > Hi Lizzy, hi everyone, I'm new here and haven't formally intro'd

> myself. Not much to say besides the usual " the wolves who raised me

> were a bit dysfunctional which explains so much, doesn't it? " .

> >

> > Lizzy, I really feel for your situation and can only ask four

> questions:

> > 1) Is it possible to repaint the " taint " of getting another

> ticket, so you can see an extra ticket as the way in which you and

> your husband can support two sisters and each other?

> > 2) Is there any way to contact the school, to ask about getting

> another ticket? (especially since the other family's parents are

> divorcing -- it isn' t unusual to require more than the minimum

> amount of tickets to grads here in Canada during parental

> separation/divorce)

> > 3) Is your brother-in-law so closely knit with the family that

> he'll suffer tremendously if he gives you his ticket (especially

> knowing you're trying to get another ticket from the school)?

> > 4) Are you comfortable " hiding " the hurt from your husband, and

> are you comfortable that he won't figure out on his own that you're

> hurting from the abusive behaviour of two families?

> >

> >

> > These are my only comments:

> > You are demonstrating great composure and class. It's none of my

> business but I wonder if your husband doesn't deserve to know your

> feelings so he can fully support whatever decision you make, instead

> of maybe accidentally saying something that adds to your pain. This

> is not a small thing. It's a big hurt. And I'm sorry you're feeling

> such hurt, and I am sure you will get much better input from others

> in this group.

> >

> > And yes, problems always seem so big at night.

> >

> > Edmonton Gal

> >

> >

> >

> > ---------------------------------

> > Yahoo! oneSearch: Finally, mobile search that gives answers, not

> web links.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Woohoo Lizzy !! So happy the school is giving them away! Hope you have

an awesome time when you go.

> > >

> > > Hi Lizzy, hi everyone, I'm new here and haven't formally intro'd

> > myself. Not much to say besides the usual " the wolves who raised me

> > were a bit dysfunctional which explains so much, doesn't it? " .

> > >

> > > Lizzy, I really feel for your situation and can only ask four

> > questions:

> > > 1) Is it possible to repaint the " taint " of getting another

> > ticket, so you can see an extra ticket as the way in which you and

> > your husband can support two sisters and each other?

> > > 2) Is there any way to contact the school, to ask about getting

> > another ticket? (especially since the other family's parents are

> > divorcing -- it isn' t unusual to require more than the minimum

> > amount of tickets to grads here in Canada during parental

> > separation/divorce)

> > > 3) Is your brother-in-law so closely knit with the family that

> > he'll suffer tremendously if he gives you his ticket (especially

> > knowing you're trying to get another ticket from the school)?

> > > 4) Are you comfortable " hiding " the hurt from your husband, and

> > are you comfortable that he won't figure out on his own that you're

> > hurting from the abusive behaviour of two families?

> > >

> > >

> > > These are my only comments:

> > > You are demonstrating great composure and class. It's none of my

> > business but I wonder if your husband doesn't deserve to know your

> > feelings so he can fully support whatever decision you make, instead

> > of maybe accidentally saying something that adds to your pain. This

> > is not a small thing. It's a big hurt. And I'm sorry you're feeling

> > such hurt, and I am sure you will get much better input from others

> > in this group.

> > >

> > > And yes, problems always seem so big at night.

> > >

> > > Edmonton Gal

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ---------------------------------

> > > Yahoo! oneSearch: Finally, mobile search that gives answers, not

> > web links.

> > >

> > >