What if there was nothing wrong?

[Guest guest]

Hey gang,

I had an interesting experience today during my walking meditation. As I was

strolling about on this bright and beautiful Summer day a very curious thought

popped into my head...what if there was nothing wrong? At first I didn't

understand what it meant, but gradually an idea began to form. What if all of

the events in my life, all of my so-called failings, shortcomings, sins of

omission and commission...in short, all manner of events and traits I either

labeled (and label) as " good " or " bad " were...neither? What if I allowed my

life to unfold as it is...totally without judgment? I'll give you an example.

During my meditation, I was wrestling with the thought that I was a " bad "

student of ACT. From out of nowhere, the thought occurred to me that maybe

being a bad student of ACT was what I was SUPPOSED to be! It sounds crazy but

at that moment, I was being exactly who I should be and overcome with peace...I

felt almost a palpable shift from the domain of " becoming " to just being...I

also became present to my immediate experience...I felt no impulse to run from

it. Being a " bad " ACT student was beautiful just as I'm sure the thought of

being a " good " ACT student would have been (or not). Nothing I can do, think,

feel, say is " wrong " or " right " it just is...thoughts, feelings and events arise

and events take place, all without my approval or consent. When I have a

negative thought, I don't need to take ownership of it because I had nothing to

do with creating it...it feels kind of like admitting guilt for a crime I didn't

commit. If at any given moment, I'm being generous, that is what is. Then next

moment I could be petty and cruel...that also is what is. I can't take credit

for the generosity or be blamed for the cruelty...I had nothing to do with

either. The illusion of control just dissolves...I am just being me (as if I

had any other choice). There is no resistance or any attempt to create a

" better " Joe. As they used to say in those old sci-fi movies, " resistance is

futile! " Rather than taking any ownership (how can I take ownership of thoughts

I didn't create...even the " I " thought?), I am allowing life in all its colors

and shades...some quite light, others very dark and mysterious, to play

themselves out on the stage of my awareness...I am an actor playing the role of

Joe...who sometimes can be generous; sometimes downright cruel. It might be

called " method " acting because I sometimes get caught up in the role and confuse

reality with theatre. Whatever arises I will endeavor to embrace and allow to

unfold without any interpretation.

I am going to post this. Right now, thoughts are arising like, " the other board

members will eviscerate my ridiculous idea and even more clumsy expression. " I'm

also feeling some anxiety about sharing my idea. However, a small soundless

voice is telling me everything is exactly how it should be...how could it be any

other way? It is what it is what it is and requires no effort on my part to

happen...I'm just along for the ride. It's the me I THINK I am who has the

problem with all of this. If things are going " well " , experience it fully...if

things are going " poorly " , embrace and experience that as well...it's all a

beautiful expression of the One Life. Neither can touch the beauty that we all

are above the battleground.

I would invite anyone who reads this post to check in with themselves and,

whatever he or she finds...just accept it as what is...and what should be. How

do I know if depression, anxiety, et al are what " should " be? Because that is

what is arising...can you be anything but who you are in this moment?

Depression and anxiety will be present...until they're not...very little you can

do to change that...I find that immensely liberating. I don't need to change a

thing...it's all perfect. Again, how do I know? Because that's what is

happening. As Byron says, you can argue with reality and you'll

lose...but only 100% of the time.

OK all of you eviscerators...get to work!

All the best,

Joe