Guest guest Posted August 9, 2010 Report Share Posted August 9, 2010 That's interesting Helena. When I thought about it, I realized that winning awards or being recognized professionally, like has happened to me lately, has had a positive effect on my self esteem, but like you, no effect whatsoever on my depression. And I always thought part of the depression recipe was " low self esteem " . Hmmm. Kate I once heard it said that self esteem comes from doing, not being. For what it's worth ... I don't know if that's true or not. I did feel a lot better about myself after I got my college degree at age 40-something, with honors. It didn't cure my depression, though. Helena Re: Buddhist quote " Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping yourself or the world; it does not change the past, nor does it change the future; it only makes the present miserable. " The above quote sounds nice but how does it fit in with ACT? Today my self esteem plummeted and I felt deeply unatractive and my Body Dysmorphic Disorder came on strong again. I have been wounded all day because of this, which my achillies heal or kriptonite. My approach has been to accept the pain without resistance and defuse from the thoughts, i.e. let them be and ignore them. I was very much influenced by Shinnzen Young's book, Break Through Pain - quote below - but does this apply to pychological pain as well? 'If we cannot escape from pain, must we then experience abject and meaningless suffering? Definately not! There is an alternative, a way to escape not from but into the pain. We can apply Mindfulness Meditation to the pain and observe it with precision, while at the same time opening to it and dropping resistance. As you develop this skill, the pain causes less suffering and in many cases ''breaks up into'' a flow of energy. This may sound too ggod to be true, but it is a fact that has been independantly discovered by thousands of individuals.' It's been hell using ACT on this, but I accepted that as well. My non acceptance side just wants to feel attractive regardless of ACT or CBT techniques. Anyhow, I still believe that going into the pain is the way the way out of this, but avoiding it, or geting someone beautiful to love me won't work in the long run. I have tried that, and it has never worked for long. When a pretty girlfriend leaves me I feel like rubbish again so it's time to stop running and fully face this, I think. But perhaps I am being hard on myself again, doing my own primal therapy as usual, because without true self esteem no one can face feeling unatractive. We all need to feel lovable. Kaivey >> Just want to share a cool quote I just read on another site, it really struck a chord with me. > > Hopefully it will resonate with someone> > " Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping yourself or the world; it does not change the past, nor does it change the future; it only makes the present miserable. " > > Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera:> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2010 Report Share Posted August 9, 2010 I recently finished a 6 month course in commercial cookery. On my last day I didn't feel anything. I thought " well I'll have to feel good when I get my certificate " . It turns out I didn't feel anything when I got my certificate either. I'm still trying to figure that one out. . That's interesting Helena. When I thought about it, I realized that winning awards or being recognized professionally, like has happened to me lately, has had a positive effect on my self esteem, but like you, no effect whatsoever on my depression. And I always thought part of the depression recipe was " low self esteem " . Hmmm. Kate I once heard it said that self esteem comes from doing, not being. For what it's worth ... I don't know if that's true or not. I did feel a lot better about myself after I got my college degree at age 40-something, with honors. It didn't cure my depression, though. Helena Re: Buddhist quote " Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping yourself or the world; it does not change the past, nor does it change the future; it only makes the present miserable. " The above quote sounds nice but how does it fit in with ACT? Today my self esteem plummeted and I felt deeply unatractive and my Body Dysmorphic Disorder came on strong again. I have been wounded all day because of this, which my achillies heal or kriptonite. My approach has been to accept the pain without resistance and defuse from the thoughts, i.e. let them be and ignore them. I was very much influenced by Shinnzen Young's book, Break Through Pain - quote below - but does this apply to pychological pain as well? 'If we cannot escape from pain, must we then experience abject and meaningless suffering? Definately not! There is an alternative, a way to escape not from but into the pain. We can apply Mindfulness Meditation to the pain and observe it with precision, while at the same time opening to it and dropping resistance. As you develop this skill, the pain causes less suffering and in many cases ''breaks up into'' a flow of energy. This may sound too ggod to be true, but it is a fact that has been independantly discovered by thousands of individuals.' It's been hell using ACT on this, but I accepted that as well. My non acceptance side just wants to feel attractive regardless of ACT or CBT techniques. Anyhow, I still believe that going into the pain is the way the way out of this, but avoiding it, or geting someone beautiful to love me won't work in the long run. I have tried that, and it has never worked for long. When a pretty girlfriend leaves me I feel like rubbish again so it's time to stop running and fully face this, I think. But perhaps I am being hard on myself again, doing my own primal therapy as usual, because without true self esteem no one can face feeling unatractive. We all need to feel lovable. Kaivey >> Just want to share a cool quote I just read on another site, it really struck a chord with me. > > Hopefully it will resonate with someone> > " Emotionally beating yourself up is not helping yourself or the world; it does not change the past, nor does it change the future; it only makes the present miserable. " > > Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda Maha Thera:> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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