Re: Living with anhedonia

[Guest guest]

Thank you for this very personal post

and for reminding us that values are a choice,

a choice as deeply personal and courageous

as we each are willing to make it.

Best regards,

Tom

>

> Living with Anhedonia

>

> Anhedonia is the emotional numbness the inability to feel positive emotion.

>

> There are two types of it temporary and continual. The temporary version

would be experienced by those who are very depressed and realize that they

cannot feel or care about anyone or anything. But when the depressive episode

lifts emotional ability returns to normal.

>

> With the continual whether feeling good or depressed the numbness remains.

Research has revealed that the continual variety lifts when depressive illness

goes away permanently.

>

> Its genesis in my case is attributable to painful childhood experiences

virtually no positive emotional input growing up and experiencing for some years

constant depression and as a therapist explained to me my feelings fusing with

the negativity of depressive mood to produce inability to experience positive

emotion.

>

> In the face of this what I decided to do was to accept the anhedonia. This

does fit in with the serenity prayer saying change what you can and accept what

you cannot. Many years ago a consultant psychiatrist pointed out the

impossibility of doing anything to get rid of this problem.

>

> However as I wanted always to live by the value of caring for others that has

shaped my relations with people. But this acceptance is not a resignation but

just embracing the reality that for the time being there is no other

alternative but a very destructive one which would be continually beating up on

myself because I can't feel or getting very angry and resentful with life in

general for having this problem. That kind of mindset would poison the system

and prevent any kind of healing.

>

> Some aspects of having to live with this problem can be upsetting. For

instance everyone around you could be in terrible agony and you could feel

nothing for them. If a loved one died you could not mourn. In expressing

caring for people who have for example experienced great misfortune living by

the value you express caring but can feel nothing and so you feel false.

Acceptance has to be used to deal with these feelings. But at the same time I

do remind myself that in expressing concern and empathy I am living by my value.

For someone with this problem the best that can be done is to at all times live

the caring value while awaiting the disappearance of the Depression followed by

freedom from the anhedonia. Best wishes from Francis.

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