Re: Please help?-To Kathy (mikat)

[Guest guest]

You always know how to say just the right thing. You are so right

about how feeling well is is everything. Even if I got a millon

dollars today, I would rather just feel good! How can you enjoy $ if

you feel like sleeping all day?

I'm so glad to see that you're still on the group. I'm sure that

most of the girls that start feeling better, eventually stop

posting. It's so sweet of you to help other girls who haven't come

as far as you yet. You have always given great advice. I hope to

stay more involved with the group in the future.

My marriage fell apart a year ago, when my husband told me that he

wasn't in love with me anymore. Of course, I blamed myself and my

illness. I was very depressed and sad for my 2 yr. old (now 3) son,

Quinn. My father was a cheater and a liar and left my Mom when she

was 32 and sick. He didn't even know that she had died a year later

because he hadn't kept in touch with us.

Lve, Daryl

> > I had my explant on Friday and had my drains out today, also got

> to

> > see them for the first time. I dont know what to do as i am so

> > depressed because i am much smaller then i was before the

implant.

> (

> > She said she had to remove a lot of scar tissue) I feel like a

> man

> > who just has nipples. Will they fluff out later or is this it?

I

> > cant imagine ever feeling feminine again.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Daryl

I think most of us feel that way---you really want to be there for

others the way people were here for us.

I am sorry to hear about your dad. They often say that

subconsciously we pick out people like our fathers--perhaps to try

to recreate the relationship and fix it? I don't know, but I do

know that you aren't to blame for all your husband's problems.

There are several women on here who were--and are--really sick and

their husbands stood by them with love and compassion. I always

tell people that you can't control what others do---only what you

do. Stop feeling guilty for what you can't control. It is a

useless and devestating emotion. Instead, try to give your stresses

over to God. I love the Serenity Prayer " God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the

things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. "

I know that you feel that you are caught in an endless cycle of

defeat---I have been there too. Sometimes things happen much more

slowly than we would ever think possible. But I really believe that

with enough faith, and persistence, we can get well. The conditions

that you have are very challenging and you should not feel you are

weak. I also know that when you are depressed (and feeling

defeated) you want to have comfort. Unfortunately, it easy to find

comfort in our favorite foods because as you already pointed out,

there is so little else that gives pleasure when you are too tired

or hurting to enjoy it.

You need to find small steps that you can take that will help you

feel that you have some control in your life. Start small. Since

you have struggled with your diet for so long, it is not likely that

you are suddenly going to just find the strength to quit all the

wrong foods. Perhaps you could analyse your diet--write down

everything you eat. Then look for one thing you could eliminate.

And one thing that you could add that would be good for you. AFter

that is a success, take another small step. But don't beat yourself

up about the rest. This really does work. What doesn't work is

constantly feeling defeated because you can't stick to a candida

diet. Do you take any supplements? If so, reevaluate them. If

they aren't helping, stop. Try one new thing instead. Give it at

least a month and evaluate whether you think it is helping. I think

someone suggested you contact Dr. Leu. I think that would be a very

good idea. You really need to have someone helping you make out

your game plan.

Lastly, have you thought of going to Dr.Lowe about your thyroid? He

believes, and I tend to agree, that people with fms don't utilize

their thyroid hormone correctly even though they test within normal

range. was one of those. He tests, and does metabolic

testing, and then prescribes based on his evalutation. He has seen

good success with giving thyroid hormone this way to people who test

in the normal range. If this helped you, it could give you energy

and really help you. It certainly is worth checking out.

Depression itself saps our energy and causes many symptoms and I

know you are depressed. Again, if you could find one tiny thing you

can do on a regular basis that could help you get out of your hole.

I have been walking my dog every day. And recently I added going

for another walk with a friend several times a week. It makes me

feel good about myself. Of course, the heat wave isn't helping you

get outside! But it doesn't have to be outside or even exercise.

You just need to have something to look for ward to!

SEveral months ago I joined a group of women who were depressed---

this was led my a moderator. I have had trouble with depression

since my husband died and I got sick and now perimenopause---anyway,

we met nine weeks for once a week. It really did help. Just being

with other women who could admit they were depressed helped! We also

got papers on ways to self talk positively, see things objectively,

deal with conflict, etc. All in all, every woman in the class felt

less depressed when it was over. Finding something like that

through a psychologists office might be something that would be

beneficial for you! Good luck to you Daryl, and feel free to call

me anytime you want to chat.

Hugs, kathy

> > > I had my explant on Friday and had my drains out today, also

got

> > to

> > > see them for the first time. I dont know what to do as i am

so

> > > depressed because i am much smaller then i was before the

> implant.

> > (

> > > She said she had to remove a lot of scar tissue) I feel like

a

> > man

> > > who just has nipples. Will they fluff out later or is this

it?

> I

> > > cant imagine ever feeling feminine again.