243 Members

[Guest guest]

Hi all, after reading all the posts of fleeing members, I went to the home page and saw that lo and behold, there are still 243 members! That is a lot of silent members, but what do I know I'm mostly silent myself. I live by the can't say something nice don't say anything at all lifestyle. I see a post that ticks me off, I move on to the next post. Unless someone flat out calls me stupid, and that DID happen in a Dog Aggression group, then I pretty much move on.

I mostly sit and observe, as I am new to the fibro groups. However I am not new to yahoo groups. I'm in so many and my most active ones have less than 30 members. The groups that I subscribe to with more than a hundred members have less posts in a month than the smaller groups post in a week. But that's how these things go. I have seen these explosions happen, and a LOT. And it's always race, religion, and political issues that spark so much anger, rage and arguing. Then a bunch of people leave feeling upset, and the rest of us are left scratching our heads thinking "wha happen?" like Ricky would say. I always loved Dr. Phil's advice about don't make any major decision when you are upset. Wait until the emotions calm down, then you can think more clearly. I've gone off in emails before, only to regret them later. Mostly individual emails, not group ones. Now I just type long emails and then never send them. Especially if I wrote them while I was upset.It's the holidays! It may be "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" but to some it's the most awful time of the year. In a few groups, people are fighting over the history of Christmas.

Then I have a dear friend who just lost her Mother, and her 17 year old son moved out, and another friend who just lost her brother in law, and every time I turn on the TV there is another horrible wreck where six people died, or one family lost two of their children in a bad accident. Then I come here and it just doesn't end. It's much bigger than all this. Stress does make us hurt more, I have read that all too many times. I knew that, as I've dealt with that every single time I get stressed or upset for FOUR plus years. But I was not aware that there are so many people who feel just as much pain when they get upset or stressed. So a lot of us come here to these groups for love, support, a little kindness and some hugs. But instead everyone lashes out at eachother and freaks out about something else. Or at least that's what I do in life, something upsets me and I lash out at someone else or because of something else all together. Like seeing my sick Grandmother at Thanksgiving, I didn't react. But the next three days I cried over every little stupid thing, and yelled at my husband for no reason. Luckily he understood, but a lot of us here at these groups are mere strangers, have not met in person but you just never know. I got this quote from a very wise man in one of my groups, and I just loved it:"Be nice, be helpful, be kind. A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet."Some of us may meet someday, I'd hate to be in a situation where I wish I could take it back or wish I hadn't said or done. Instead, be kind to that stranger that may one day be a friend. I've learned that being kind does make my pain subside so much. Being angry hurts, and not just emotionally, but it hurts the body. So when something makes me angry in an email I delete it and move on. If a joke may offend me then I delete it and move on. I know that if a person posts something they aren't saying "Well, I'm going to do my darndest to piss off Melody today." I know that is not the case. Because if someone did really want to, they would write to me off the list and send me into hysterical sobs. I'm serious, a gal emailed me once and called me selfish saying I was trying to make it about myself. I'm about the biggest giver on the planet, tend to be too giving almost to a fault I was told. That sent me into uncontrollable sobs and since I was still smoking back then, sent me out to the garage to smoke one after another. There are so many people on this planet who take pleasure in hurting others. They are everywhere, but I have found more good people than bad. Anyway that's my ramble for the day. I had a terrific two days, we walked the malls and that actually helped me to feel better. But today we spent time at Walmart, and guess what, I'm all hurting again. I have four SalonPas on my upper back area. I do hope the holidays don't have everyone upset, in pain, stressed, and ready to snap if I sneeze or breathe wrong. I know it's not easy to moderate all posts but a lot of my lists have a no flaming policy. It sure does make for a peaceful place to be, and it's soooo nice. It's not like nobody ever gets on my nerves. I'm mean, heck, I'm a woman, there are many days out of each month when EVERyone and everything gets on my every nerve, but that is when I choose to keep my fingers OFF this keyboard and I spend more time offline than on. So anyway I'm off again to lurkdom, hopefully some of the rest of us 243 members will jump on in and let me know how you are feeling, doing, are you okay and are you having a good holiday? Is everyone in a bad mood? Because I'm not, it was just mentioned that there were some grumpies but I think those who are in a terrific mood are just staying silent. Well I'm off to bed, I just wanted to ramble. You'll get one of those from me now and then, but most of the time I can be pretty quiet. How many fibro groups do you belong to? I'm in two, this one and a DFW one that's mostly silent.

I'd love to know more about other fibro groups, do they all go through explosions like this? I've only been in this group a very short while but I've read that these explosions keep happening. There is already way too much fighting in this world, I like to come here to find love and kindess. I'm all open for suggestions if you are in a loving peaceful supporting kind of group that does not have explosions.

Talk later,Melody