What? (was convinced I'd die young--Trauma and Recovery)

[Guest guest]

Kerrie, that is really great. I will probably use the " what "

technique on my nada. It's awesome because it cracks me up and will

help me see the humor in the situation! I have this aunt that had a

similar response to a rude comment at a family reunion except she

said, " kiss my what? " Which, I will not say, but it will be in the

back of my head making me chuckle. Plus, I love it when my mom thinks

I'm crazy and unreasonable. I feel like now she knows how it feels to

talk to her! He he he.

Trish

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Hi everyone I'm very curious to know if anyone else has had

> > this

> > > > > > experience. I was reading the book Charlie recommended,

> > Trauma

> > > and

> > > > > > Recovery, and I came accross this part on children who'd

> been

> > > > > > kidnapped not making plans for the future because they

> > assumed

> > > they'd

> > > > > > die young(as a result of the trauma of being kidnapped).

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I was never kidnapped, but at about the age of 10, I became

> > > convinced

> > > > > > that I was going to die before I was 20(I forget the exact

> > age,

> > > but in

> > > > > > my mind, there was a deadline)--I still intended to go to

> > > college

> > > > > > because that had always been my escape plan--from my

> > family.

> > > The

> > > > > > feeling that I would die young was so complete that even in

> > > college I

> > > > > > never made plans for AFTER. For most people, college is a

> > time

> > > of

> > > > > > preparing for the future, but I had so internalized the

> idea

> > > that

> > > > > > there wasn't one that I didn't really have other plans--

> > college

> > > was an

> > > > > > end in itself. I enjoyed learning and being far from my

> > FOO. Of

> > > > > > course, in my early 20's I didn't really give conscious

> > thought

> > > to the

> > > > > > fact I expected to die, I just lived as if I was going to.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I was positively shocked when, at the end of school, I

> > realized

> > > I

> > > > > > hadn't made plans for after, that it was because of

> > something

> > > that was

> > > > > > ingrained in me as a child and, that I was not, in fact,

> > dead.

> > > I

> > > > > > mean, I obviously figured it all out and went on to suport

> > > myself and

> > > > > > live in the world. But I never quite knew what to make of

> > that

> > > whole

> > > > > > experience. It's not something I ever really mentioned to

> > > people,

> > > > > > except a few friends in junior high. It just didn't seem

> > like

> > > > > > something I better talk about. . .

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Has this happenned to anyone else? I am so shocked to

> learn

> > > that it's

> > > > > > a documented reaction to childhood trauma that I just can't

> > > believe

> > > > > > it. I mean, this had a HUGE impact on the rest of my

> > childhood,

> > > > > > adolescence and it still impacts me now as I am somewhat

> > behind

> > > in the

> > > > > > planning department. This is so weird--but finally I have

> an

> > > > > > explanation of sorts to something I'd given up on

> > > understanding.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Trish

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>