when younger sisters attack (themselves)

[Guest guest]

Dear Flea,

Your story about your brother, the knife and the crocodiles reminds

me of something that happened w/one of my siblings. My sister was

truly suicidial, and she kept telling me this. I told nada, and

told nada to get her help. In FRONT of nada's best friend, who was

an extended relative. This was years ago, before I knew of bpd of

course. Nada just acted all bizarre and confused like you

describe. I remember how appalled I was. She said she couldn't

afford therapy. She said my sister didn't REALLY mean it. I

understand now, she was trying not to split herself black, bks it

would have reflected on HER had it been 'true'. (Which is was. I

hope that after I left the relative convinced her to get help for my

sister.) But I remember being dumbfounded by her response. How

could she not *believe* me? She was trying to make me into an

exaggerated tatlle-taler? She was just dismissing me, because *I*

was not a *serious* person, and what I said about my sister didn't

*count*--not even if her life was in danger! Which it honestly

was. She has since gotten help and does not threaten suicide to me

any more. My sister is likely bpd too, but she is not a self-

harmer, and to this day I know those threats were real.

It is amazing to me that the FOO can see nada act like this, and not

comprehend she is bonkers. The responsibility lies more on dishrag

than on her, I have come to understand. As we've discussed in

another threat, nadas tend to respond to brute authority, and, if

dishrag wasn't so f'd up, and CRAVING the abuse from nada, he could

have admitted to himself she needed help and forced her to get it--

or left her. My dishrag is a jerk. I never wanted to believe that

before. He was my favorite person on earth for over 20 years. Not

any more. That is something I am grieving tremendously these days.

Charlie

>

> Trish,

> It feels awful to be awake and jumpy at all hours, when you

would rather be resting. I think you have a really good attitude

about reminding yourself, " 2 steps forward ONE step back " !

>

> Sometimes if I need more reassurance that that IS true, I try to

look back, say ten years. And I say, yeah, it's a whole lot better

now, despite all the intervening setbacks.

>

> Wow, I had an experience with a much younger brother chasing me

with a weapon too!

>

> I was home for a couple days over Xmas when I was a junior in

high school. My parents were out somewhere. I was watching a show

in Discovery channel about alligators and crocodiles--I'll never

forget that LOL! It was interesting. So, brother, who was about 7

at the time, says he wants to watch a show. It was like 5 minutes

of 8 and his show came on at 8. So I said--get this, KOs!--I

said, " Ok, this is over in a couple minutes, then you can watch

yours. "

>

> So he ran from the room, got a big knife from the kitchen and

ran toward me with it, yelling and crying hysterically! I, um, left

the area. I just stayed in my room and he watched whatever the h***

he wanted. When I tried to tell nada about this the next morning,

she had this attitude like (1) she didn't believe it and (2) she

thought I was a petty little tattletale. I told her I thought he

needed some kind of help, cuz trying to attack your sister with a

knife when she agrees to let you watch your tv show, is not normal.

>

> Anyway, I DO know that it's quite stressful " When Younger

Brothers Attack " !!!!! No joke. And this happened only once, mainly

cuz I didn't live in the house at that point. And it was still very

scary/stressful. So I imagine it could have quite a negative effect

on a person! I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you are feeling

better soon!

>

> Best,

> Flea

>

>

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