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Re: Now that I am well--Lynda

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Thanks Lynda,

I am in counseling and he is going to begin. We are going to go at it alone at first and then start going together. I hope I can save my marrage. I love my man so much. He travels a lot and I think he can't stand it when I am not home. My daughter is learning to ride horses and we (she and I) spend a lot of time at the barn. We rescued a pony and donated it to the horse camp so even when they don't have camp she can still ride.

Oh i forgot to mention that I had to send my 17 year old to live with his father and have been really depressed about it. I am getting better with dealing with the sweet loving child I raised now thinks I am the worst person in the world. I know he is 17 and it is time to cut the "umbilical cord" but it doesn't make my broken hart feel any better. I was so happy to be feeling better and getting out and doing things. Then my world crumbled on me. I must wonder if I will ever be allowed to be happy and healthy in this life.

Thak you,Toni Frampton toni_frampton@... __________________________________________________

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It is amazing how much they learn by the time they turn 25, so give your

older son time. He will come around.

Lynda

At 07:17 AM 7/14/2005, you wrote:

>

>Thanks Lynda,

>I am in counseling and he is going to begin. We are going to go at it

>alone at first and then start going together. I hope I can save my

>marrage. I love my man so much. He travels a lot and I think he can't

>stand it when I am not home. My daughter is learning to ride horses and we

>(she and I) spend a lot of time at the barn. We rescued a pony and donated

>it to the horse camp so even when they don't have camp she can still ride.

>Oh i forgot to mention that I had to send my 17 year old to live with his

>father and have been really depressed about it. I am getting better with

>dealing with the sweet loving child I raised now thinks I am the worst

>person in the world. I know he is 17 and it is time to cut the " umbilical

>cord " but it doesn't make my broken hart feel any better. I was so happy

>to be feeling better and getting out and doing things. Then my world

>crumbled on me. I must wonder if I will ever be allowed to be happy and

>healthy in this life.

>Thak you,

>

>

>Toni Frampton

>toni_frampton@...

>

>__________________________________________________

>

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Toni,

If you're not already doing it, would carrying a cell

phone make your hubby feel any better about being

within reach?

For what it's worth, my hubby has always been one to

want to know I'm here, even if he isn't spending time

with me. Only recently has be begun to let go of those

feelings. It's been 20 years! . . .

He's so glad to see me return from a trip that it's

tempting to take another one when he gets grumpy!

Hugs,

Rogene

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Thank you lynda,

I hope he turns around some soon. You see I expect him to go to colledge. In the 7th grade he was tested and they told me that he had the reading anc comp skills of a college freshman, that school should be a breeze for him. he brought home 4 f's and lne of then was in gym. I wanted to kill him. so he is living with dad who makes him get up early every morning and make his bed and go to church three times a week and constantle berates him. In his mind he is in hell. There are also seven people living in a three bed room house. I figure by the time school starts again he will have learned his lesson. Here he has his own floor and all of the "toys" he could want including a mercedes that he can't drive untill he brings home at least a 3.0 average. and shows some respect to his step dad and me. but all of this has hurt me so bad I feel that my heart is physically breaking into peices.

ps please excuse my typing i am on pain meds right now.Toni Frampton __________________________________________________

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I think some counseling will put your son's behavior into perspective. It

is the age. They are so susceptible to influence during adolescence. He

will come around.

Lynda

At 07:52 AM 7/14/2005, you wrote:

>Thank you lynda,

>I hope he turns around some soon. You see I expect him to go to

>colledge. In the 7th grade he was tested and they told me that he had the

>reading anc comp skills of a college freshman, that school should be a

>breeze for him. he brought home 4 f's and lne of then was in gym. I wanted

>to kill him. so he is living with dad who makes him get up early every

>morning and make his bed and go to church three times a week and

>constantle berates him. In his mind he is in hell. There are also seven

>people living in a three bed room house. I figure by the time school

>starts again he will have learned his lesson. Here he has his own floor

>and all of the " toys " he could want including a mercedes that he can't

>drive untill he brings home at least a 3.0 average. and shows some respect

>to his step dad and me. but all of this has hurt me so bad I feel that my

>heart is physically breaking into peices.

>

>

>ps please excuse my typing i am on pain meds right now.

>

>

>Toni Frampton

>

>__________________________________________________

>

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Toni,

As painful as it is right now, it sounds like you are

doing the best thing for your son. Hopefully he'll

come back with some structure and a new appreciation

for you and all the things you've offered him.

With his intelligence, those bad grades are a cry for

attention. Having a lot of " things " doesn't guarantee

a happy, healthy child. Sometimes less is more.

Just keep letting him know that you love him and that,

if/when he comes home, he will have to meet

expectations. You only have about a year to get a

handle on him! It's time to do whatever it takes -

even if it hurts like crazy!

Hugs and prayers,

Rogene

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Toni

Hang in there. Sometimes it seems like things just keep going

wrong. But the tide will turn. Please just keep thinking positive

and trust that God will see you through. Though these are stressful

things with your marriage and your son, they still have every

opportunity to work themselves out. Focus on getting better and

letting go of every possible stress while believing that the right

things will happen!!

Hugs, kathy

>

> Thanks Lynda,

> I am in counseling and he is going to begin. We are going to go at

it alone at first and then start going together. I hope I can save

my marrage. I love my man so much. He travels a lot and I think he

can't stand it when I am not home. My daughter is learning to ride

horses and we (she and I) spend a lot of time at the barn. We

rescued a pony and donated it to the horse camp so even when they

don't have camp she can still ride.

> Oh i forgot to mention that I had to send my 17 year old to live

with his father and have been really depressed about it. I am

getting better with dealing with the sweet loving child I raised now

thinks I am the worst person in the world. I know he is 17 and it is

time to cut the " umbilical cord " but it doesn't make my broken hart

feel any better. I was so happy to be feeling better and getting out

and doing things. Then my world crumbled on me. I must wonder if I

will ever be allowed to be happy and healthy in this life.

> Thak you,

>

>

>

> Toni Frampton

> toni_frampton@y...

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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Rogene

I agree completely. And I would point out it is a rare parent who

gets through their kids teenage years without alot of worry that

their child is actually ever going to turn into a normal adult!! It

is a hard time for parent and child. Hang tight.

love,kathy

> Toni,

>

> As painful as it is right now, it sounds like you are

> doing the best thing for your son. Hopefully he'll

> come back with some structure and a new appreciation

> for you and all the things you've offered him.

>

> With his intelligence, those bad grades are a cry for

> attention. Having a lot of " things " doesn't guarantee

> a happy, healthy child. Sometimes less is more.

>

> Just keep letting him know that you love him and that,

> if/when he comes home, he will have to meet

> expectations. You only have about a year to get a

> handle on him! It's time to do whatever it takes -

> even if it hurts like crazy!

>

> Hugs and prayers,

>

> Rogene

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Ha ha, Rogene!

Sounds like a good excuse for travel to me!

Patty

-- In , Rogene S <saxony01@y...> wrote:

> Toni,

>

> If you're not already doing it, would carrying a cell

> phone make your hubby feel any better about being

> within reach?

>

> For what it's worth, my hubby has always been one to

> want to know I'm here, even if he isn't spending time

> with me. Only recently has be begun to let go of those

> feelings. It's been 20 years! . . .

>

> He's so glad to see me return from a trip that it's

> tempting to take another one when he gets grumpy!

>

> Hugs,

>

> Rogene

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