Re: Author Author/Paranoia

[Guest guest]

>

> ----- Original Message -----

> From: mynelltx

>

> ,

>

> My remarks are not disingenuous.

> ===================

,

I stand by my integrity and insist my remarks are not

disingenuous,

but merely an accusation or perhaps even a projection

on your part.

Last year, had posted a request that when

the subject changed could we please

change the header which often becomes stale

and irrelevant.

This is where individual interpretation can come into play.

The original header of the post that brought up this subject was:

' It's nice out here in the SF Bay area'

One of 's remarks brought to mind something my husband had once said which

was NOT about the SF area.

I then changed the header, thinking I was doing as the moderator had

asked and responded. The following header being the new one:

'Jet Setting & Bed Fretting'

In my mind I WAS following what had been asked by the moderator.

so eloquently and without blame or accusation or finger pointing

explained the etiquette and gave what I thought was a very pleasant

and concise example of how to change the header.

This has been much appreciated on my end and I have begun using it since.

I offer my apologies to those willing to accept it for any confusion. There was

NO ill intention or evil motive lurking in the back ground.

I find that most individuals who have their name used with accusations and

terms like: hijacking, stealing, troublemakers, using aliases would come to the

defense of themselves.

These types of terms are often associated with slander.

I think it would be helpful and less hostile if we could keep

personal accusations out of responses and avoid starting out with " You " in

exchange for: in the statement, some feel or say, for example.

Terms like 'sides' often bring an 'us' vs 'them' response too often

(IMO) and might be better to avoid.

This removes the need for defensive action.

It would make it easier for all of us to stay on topic instead of wasting each

other's time having to constantly personally defend ourselves and get back to

discussing our differing POV.

I have changed my POV or at least gained another perspective when I

am able to remove my emotional attachment to my POV.

I'm not saying it is easy or I am always able to let go, but it has always been

worth the insight gained.

We are NEVER going to all agree. We are NEVER all going to have the same

experiences, but that is OK.

The question is: Are we willing to at least consider a different POV

with out making it personal or devaluing the other perspective?

My understanding is conversation is exchanging ideas and POV between two or more

people.

Lecturing is one sided. It would help if the poster's intention is for lecture

or one sided purposes only, that they state that in the beginning. Then the rest

of us would know that the poster is not interested in any POV besides their own

and we shouldn't waste our time trying to share our POV.

Peace, .

~ K D