To Bari

[Guest guest]

Hay There Bari; Hope you are still here. I find you to be a very interesting

person. I can read people very good due to my past business and public relations

.. You are a very strong person and have a big heart and weather you think so are

not very intelligent , kind and compassionate person. This is how I read you.

You are strong willed and have a hard fast opnion about what you belive in and

how you feel. You have had a hard life and you have thick skin. On the other

hand you can change your opinion or feeling's when Nudged. I must tell you the

post you read about the loss of your son and spouce was a big mistake on my

part. I read to far down on your post and was reading K's post and throught it

was yours. I am sorry for that mistake for you and mostly for K . I am sorry you

lost your Mother. I lost mine to Cancer Dec.09' and my Father Sept. 10' . It is

hard to lose a parent , and as you said in one of your post (and you are right

about having the time knowing they are dieing) My Mom had Cancer for 12 years

before she died and we were ready for her death. My Father had bad heart

problems and we had time to know he was going to die soon. I don't know your

degree of Stills . If you are working and have Stills symptoms I commend you. I

myself have a other Disability plus Stills. I need to make a disclaimer for

myself ; I will not have any intent to speak a bad word to anyone here and not

have a negitive stance on anyone's opnion. I am a calm and kind person . I am a

Christian and read my Bible every morning and Pray( for many things and people

and that includes this group) while I have my tea, and no TV on, and a very

quiet house for about a hour or so. That is my time with God and Myself.

 I think it is great you have a new friend you like so much and get along

togeather well. It is important to have a close friend or spouce to be by your

side. I divorced in 05' and got Stills (bad case) in 08'. My 2 kids choose to

live with me. About my other disability . I had a bad auto accident in the past

and in 98' I had to have surgery on my lower back. I was riding my Harley and a

4 door sedan jumped in front of me to cross the street and I was going 50 miles

a hour and hit the door post with my head . I had a helmet on and that saved my

life. I got a broken back out of it. In the L5 S1 are ( Lower back ) my

Vertebrae was cracked in half and it had to be fixed fast as not to sever my

spinal cord. They took bone from my hip and fused 3 vertebrae's togeather and 2

6 " Rods and 6 scew's to stablize my Vertebrae's . My surgen was from the Uni Of

Arizona, a Medical School and Law. He was the Chief of Surgery . The best of the

best. He told me that I may come out of surgery with more pain than I had before

going under the knife. He was right , I have what is called ( look at WebMD)

Failed Back Symdrone . Permanate nerve damage with scare tissue pressing on the

nerves ( text book condition ). I had and have so much pain from my hips down to

my toe's. I take Morphine 4x a day and Vailum 4x a day and other nerve drugs

alsofor cronic pain. Now I have Stills on top of that. I don't feel dopped up

because I am used to the med's and they help with the pain about 40%. I had to

have a Dorsal Column Stimulator implant which send electricity down my spine on

both hip's down to my toe's, that helps about 40%. That leaves me with 20%+ pain

(Cronic) every day and all night. Even with the Drugs and Stimulator I live with

Cronic pain 24/7. Also even with the drugs I still feel the RA. I can adjust the

amount of internal stimulation as needed. I had to quit working in 98' due to

the back issue.With my 2 disibility's I have been in the VA Hospital 10 times in

11 years.  My hobbie is collecting Silver coins from the internet and I have a

vast amount of Silver and the value is going to skyrocket, and that I like. I

bought all my Silver at or below wholesale price. Well my friend I am tired now

so I will close, and I hope you find a hour or a day Pain free. May God Walk

with you and your family and friends and all the Stills Patiants !

God Bless

GARY

POEM: MOTHER;

YOUR MOTHER IS ALWAYS WITH YOU

SHE'S THE WHISPER OF THE LEAVES

AS YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET

SHE'S THE SMELL OF BLEACH IN YOUR FRESHLY LAUNDERED SOCKS

SHE'S THE COOL HAND ON THE BROW WHEN YOU ARE NOT WELL

SHE LIVES INSIDE YOU

SHE'S CYSTALLIZED IN EVERY TEAR DROP.

SHES THE PLACE YOU COME FROM, YOUR FIRST HOME

SHE'S YOUR FIRST LOVE AND YOUR FIRST HEART BEAT

AND NOTHING CAN SEPARATE YOU

NOT TIME, NOT SPACE NOT EVEN DEATH WILL EVER SEPARATE YOU FROM YOUR MOTHER

YOU CARRY HER INSIDE OF YOU.

THE END  Auther Unknown !