Update - Keven

[Guest guest]

To anyone that understands this, I am getting flash backs of what i was like when on the drug its only been happening to me recently and i don't like what i am seeing the rages i was feeling come full force and what was happening at the time i was having them.I always went up to the mountain on my motorcycle to where my dads ashes were scattered to get away from them i was so scared of myself and i would sit there in the freezing cold for hours with my thoughts till i calmed down and then came down off the mountain.I was put on paxil 2 weeks after my dad died.

Hugs Ros

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

I suppose it is time for an update, regarding little ole' Kev.

Today, is 70+ days xanax free!!! also, I'm 4 months post Pax.

Good notes:

Able to smile!

Sleeping has been very, VERY well for a long time now. I just

wanted to mention this. I remember a time when quality sleep was SO

hard to get because of bad w/d symptoms.

Skin is much, much more clear. I've maintained a good H20 intake

which I think helped. Not really sure why I had broke out as I had.

Negative notes:

I have the " tight brain " thing happening, as well as yesterday &

today with some head zaps, not body or face zaps. Pretty bad though

& painful- enough to make my eyes close when they do shoot. I know

this or these is not a headache, it feels like sudden, shooting

pain. Not a constant pain.

Postal Overstimulation?

When I come home to check the mailbox, & too much postal mail

arrives, I get overloaded just looking at it all. I have not looked

thru a " sale paper " in months. If I try to look thru a sale paper,

I get dizzy & have to lie down. WTF is with this?

Doing the monthly bills has to be done in stages, or I get dizzy

from trying to concentrate, for too long.

Short term memory still all jacked up. Yeah, still living the post-

it note reminder style life. This seems to be the ONLY way right

now & it is working for me.

Hope all are well,

Kev

[Guest guest]

Short term memory still all jacked up. Yeah, still living the post-it note reminder style life. This seems to be the ONLY way right now & it is working for me.

LOL! I have so many post-its posted around my house that it's actually become quite a family joke! When family calls to tell me something I always say "hold on, let me get a post-it". They think that it's hysterical & call me the "post-it lady". There is typically 4-6 in front of my puter, 6-10 on my kitchen counter, 3-4 on my bathroom vanity & a couple in my pocket! Wonderful compensatory strategy!

Kendee

[Guest guest]

Excellent Keven. This is so encouraging. YOu must be so proud of

yourself.

I've had a couple of brain zaps in the last few weeks, an man they

hurt. It's like somebody shocked my brain. Stopped me dead in my

tracks. I guess it's part of the body / brain withdrawal.

Could the dizziness from the sales papers be because they are just so

busy. So much color and information jammed into a tiny spot. Just

over stimulating to the brain. Just a thought.

I've also read that it takes two years for the brain to heal. Seems

like a long time yet in the over all scheme of life two years is a

short time.

Keep up the good work. Excellent and encouraging news to me who has

really just started this journey.

Thank you,

> Hi All,

> I suppose it is time for an update, regarding little ole' Kev.

>

> Today, is 70+ days xanax free!!! also, I'm 4 months post Pax.

>

> Good notes:

> Able to smile!

>

> Sleeping has been very, VERY well for a long time now. I just

> wanted to mention this. I remember a time when quality sleep was

SO

> hard to get because of bad w/d symptoms.

>

> Skin is much, much more clear. I've maintained a good H20 intake

> which I think helped. Not really sure why I had broke out as I had.

>

>

> Negative notes:

> I have the " tight brain " thing happening, as well as yesterday &

> today with some head zaps, not body or face zaps. Pretty bad

though

> & painful- enough to make my eyes close when they do shoot. I know

> this or these is not a headache, it feels like sudden, shooting

> pain. Not a constant pain.

>

> Postal Overstimulation?

> When I come home to check the mailbox, & too much postal mail

> arrives, I get overloaded just looking at it all. I have not

looked

> thru a " sale paper " in months. If I try to look thru a sale paper,

> I get dizzy & have to lie down. WTF is with this?

>

> Doing the monthly bills has to be done in stages, or I get dizzy

> from trying to concentrate, for too long.

>

> Short term memory still all jacked up. Yeah, still living the post-

> it note reminder style life. This seems to be the ONLY way right

> now & it is working for me.

>

> Hope all are well,

> Kev

[Guest guest]

Dear Ros,

You said:

<<To anyone that understands this, I am getting flash backs of what i was

like when on the drug its only been happening to me recently and i don't

like what i am seeing the rages i was feeling come full force and what was

happening at the time i was having them.I always went up to the mountain on

my motorcycle to where my dads ashes were scattered to get away from them i

was so scared of myself and i would sit there in the freezing cold for hours

with my thoughts till i calmed down and then came down off the mountain.I

was put on paxil 2 weeks after my dad died.>>

** This is part of the healing, Ros. You lived through it; it can't

hurt you now. Allow yourself to grieve and give yourself the love and

tenderness you deserve. We're here for you, too. Let it all go.

Regards,

[Guest guest]

Hi Keven,

Thanks for the update! It's good to hear from you :-).

You said:

<<When I feel dizzy, I don't like that too much. I don't like being

ablt to tell " what " is gonna make me dizzy, or this feeling of ALL

watching ALL my energy drastically drop, to the point to where I

have to lie down & often just sleep. - then I miss a meal, and

that's NO GOOD. Let it be known, that I am trying. I really am.

The dang shoe problem still eludes me, as that mall trip never

happened. I am not certain if I had mentioned this before, but it

is not just shoes, per say. I thought I had seen somebody mention

before about feeling like " not caring about anything " . Not to be

taken that I am down, Gosh, this is SO hard to describe. The only

thing that comes to my mind, is LAZY - but I know I am not that kind

of person. I mean, I don't WANT TO be, but seems like I still get

into zombie type states where EVERYTHING seems like a huge hassle,

that I'll waste much time " thinking " about ALL this stuff, then the

whole day passes, a week passes, and I am still " thinking about it " .

Seems like the days are now like Groundhog day. Repeat, rewind, do

again...over & over. A loop.

Call it: " Can't pin-point a thought cuz they race SOooo much, with

so much energy being used in the race process, that I am too wiped

out physically DO something when I actually 'feel' like doing

something " >>

*** All of these symptoms are common ones for people who have taken

psychotropic drugs. I know that doesn't make it easier to deal with, but at

least you know there's a reason for all of it.

You're not lazy. I'm sure you know that, but I'll say it anyhow. It's the

aftermath of the drugs.

These problems will all improve with time. They may not all go completely

away, but they will improve.

I am wondering if some of these symptoms can be mitigated somewhat. You

said:

<<When I feel dizzy, I don't like that too much. I don't like being

ablt to tell " what " is gonna make me dizzy, or this feeling of ALL

watching ALL my energy drastically drop, to the point to where I

have to lie down & often just sleep. - then I miss a meal, and

that's NO GOOD. Let it be known, that I am trying. I really am>>

I'm going to ask a list of questions that will help identify what's going

on. Please try to go down the list and answer them.

1. Is the dizziness always related to the overwhelming fatigue?

2. Is the fatigue always accompanied by dizziness?

3. Describe the fatigue. Is it accompanied by muscular weakness, for

example?

4. Are you experiencing a sudden loss of memory at times?

5. Are you finding yourself feeling cold?

6. Is your breathing somewhat oppressed, or rapid?

7. Do you feel better with fresh air?

8. Is there any nausea that accompanies the dizziness?

9. Do you have any ringing in your ears?

10. Are you using any alcohol or recreational drugs? If so, what are they?

(No judgement here, just need a complete picture).

Hope to hear from you soon!

Hugs,

Kim

[Guest guest]

<<To anyone that understands this, I am getting flash backs of what i was

like when on the drug its only been happening to me recently and i don't

like what i am seeing the rages i was feeling come full force and what was

happening at the time i was having them.>>

I've experience this too, Ros. It can be a scary thing, but try to remember

that it's a memory, not an actual occurrence. It's all part of the healing

process.

Hang in there, sweetie. This too shall pass.

Hugs back atcha!

Kim

P.S. How's the painting going?

[Guest guest]

<<I've also read that it takes two years for the brain to heal. Seems

like a long time yet in the over all scheme of life two years is a

short time.>>

Thanks for this thought, . It does give some perspective on the whole

process, doesn't it?

Kim