Fwd: Thank you all for your most caring replys

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Forwarded with 's permission. LaurelBegin forwarded message:Date: March 8, 2007 11:01:34 AM PSTTo: laurel@...Subject: Thank you all for your most caring replys Thankyou all for your most compassionate reply.   I feel so embrassed and ashamed - trying to fix myself and messing up big time.     It just  seems to add up to me  that the estrogen triggered my situation.  Now like you suggest Laurel - maybe it enhanced the recptors of P. . .   Anyway at age 42 ( I am now 50) I crashed, health wise after years of abuse to my body - (all stemming from challenging childhood and trying to wend my way out in life- which I have!!! yeah - I get that I am not trash anymore!!)  sex, drugs , alchol, poor diet - high sugar - bulemia/anx. 7 years, then 2 babies - better diet - long term nursing - but second preg. I was veg./vegan - this created some dilemas for my newborn - and three years later my health plummeted . . . at 42 I became sick with infections monthly for 2 years - almost dying - serendipitiously a Dr. showed up in my life - had me get on a sat. high fat diet with fermented grains, raw dairy , and  animal protein - that saved my life . . . in hindsight I was also in perimenopause - and I did not address those issues - my health maintained over those years but I still averaged colds/infections monthly - just less severe - I was functional - could have a life.   But when I stopped ovulating this last Aug. I took a severe nose dive - to where I was constanly having a cold every day- and bac. infection monthly - I still was strong - due to my diet - that has held me with strength.    I started experimenting w/ P about a year ago - cause I had terrible migranes before my period - I took low amts. - 25g - - but still having trouble with terrible migranes.  In Sept. I experminted increasing my P and that helped with the migranes - lessend them but to no avail  not my immunity.    Then suddenly in Nov. I had intense hot flasshes, no sleep for 1 week before my minor bleed - and anxiety attacks and heart palp.  It was then I decided to add in E.  I read Wiley's book - agreed with the rhymatical dosing - and divided her suggestions in half and then in half again - thus creating 5 levels of dosing - number 5 being her recommendation - level 4 being 1/2 - level 3 1/2 half that etc.  I went on level 2.    Month 2 - on level 2 I had no migranes, and none of the  the other symptoms - but noticed every time I used the creme - on the peak day (which is more E) and week of bleeding I would feel a rush - flooding - flushing - and I got hives.   Month 3 this month on peak day - I broke out into shingles . .. .I tried adding a little E - after stopping a few days - and that seemed to intensify my situation - so have stopped for now .   I dont' know what to do next . . . what my next steps should be - I am afraid I will get some mamoth migrane  when my bleed comes - I have stopped the E for now - it sounds like you all suggest I stop the P ?   Where do you get the stuff to put on your breasts?   You are right Laurel about this being terribly painful - My way to deal is I set a timer for 10 min. and make my self laugh - I fake it - and tell myself THIS IS MY BEST LIFE!  - This really makes me genuinely laugh - for that seems unbeleivable - yet that is all I have right now - and then I see beauty in the falling of the snow - my childrens rap music  and their mere presence- and I tap into some inner peace . . .and my tears turn to some joy . . .   Sorry if this is too long   E. . Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection. Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta.