WARNING: totally non-medical post--although funny

[Guest guest]

Although I rarely even read

this e-mails, someone sent me this one and it just cracked me up. I immediately

thought of you guys. I know I’m supposed to wait until Friday, but sometimes

we need to celebrate a bit early…

CREATIVE

PUNS FOR THE EDUCATED MIND

1.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.

The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting

bigger. Then, it hit me.

13. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in

motion.

14. The short fortune-teller who escaped from

prison was a small medium at large.

15. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper

spray is now a seasoned veteran.

16. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In

feudalism, it's your count that votes.

17. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a

taste of religion.

18. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe

sects!