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Liz Cademy wrote:

<< Don't mistake not knowing how to react for being cold. Many times we

see the tears and sorrow and are at a complete loss as to what to do, so

we do nothing. >>

Well said, Liz. I would also like to add that this behavior is not only

limited to those on the spectrum. NTs can be like this as well,

especially when faced with difficult and/or awkward situations.

Particularly those situations where they are not sure that their

sympathy or comfort would be welcome.

For example, my husband's friends and coworkers completely ignored me

when my husband of 20 years died by suicide. Given the circumstances of

his death, they just didn't know what to do so they did nothing. They

also didn't really know the status of our marriage, given that they were

aware that my husband also had a long-term girlfriend with whom they

were already acquainted. Most of them didn't know me at all, so made no

effort to seek me out and risk opening up a can of worms.

It's possible that some of these people experienced emotions that they

did not share with me, being too uncomfortable to do so.

Best,

~CJ

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: Maybe it is more being validated then mocked? Just a thought.

Thanks , that's why I left the list not that long ago, I felt mocked. Thanks for understanding.

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thank you

Lowry

www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com

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CKC

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To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 6:12:49 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath

I may not recognize a lot of acronyms, but *that* one I can explain! POV = point of view

~"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

From: Lowry <sitdownstay@ rogers.com>

Date: Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:49:38 -0700 (PDT)

To: <aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) com>

Subject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath

what is an POV ? next time I feel mocked I will bring it up and ask the list to explain what is really happening then.

Lowry

www.brendaandwaynef amilypetservices .com

Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team

Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies

Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant

NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter

NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer

Professional Dog /Pet Sitter

Professional Dog Groomer

ABTA Certified Trainer

Behavior Consultant

Aggression Consultant

C.A.P.P.D.T

Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T.

I.P.D.T.A

CKC

CKC CGN Certified Evaluator

ABC Mentor Trainer

From: CJ <shahmeran@earthlink .net>To: aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, March 26, 2010 11:13:06 PMSubject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath

Lowry wrote:> I feel that NT's on this list are mocked.Really? Certainly not by me, I hope. I'm not any less fond of NTs than I am of AS folks, especially those whose POVs are not very well reasoned.Seriously, why do you feel that NTs (as people) are mocked?Best,~CJ

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Great point, CJ...

>

>

> << No reason exists as to why I would want to mock a NT. It's called

> having respect for others. If I respect others, my expectation is that

> others will respect me as well. >>

>

>

> <nod> I'm with you all the way, .

>

> I also don't understand why anyone would want to mock an entire group of

> people. Certainly not all NTs (or any other group of people) are alike,

> as each individual will have their own biases, prejudices, and

> likes/dislikes.

>

> It's been my experience that when a person asserts that others are

> contemptuous toward whatever group they represent, what they are really

> saying is, " Because you don't agree with me 100%, you must

> dislike/mock/disrespect/whatever all people like me " .

>

> This is an erroneous assumption and defensive reaction. Although it

> does seem to be a popular one among people who may feel outnumbered in a

> group.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

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Maybe

the answer is to take the time as an individual

when you realize you are part of the group

to let the alone person feel safe

and accepted even though you may not agree w/their pov.

History has shown us that it is so easy for a group

to turn into a mob.

I think a defensive reaction in such a situation

is natural.

~ K D

>

>

> It's been my experience that when a person asserts that others are

> contemptuous toward whatever group they represent, what they are really

> saying is, " Because you don't agree with me 100%, you must

> dislike/mock/ disrespect/ whatever all people like me " .

>

> This is an erroneous assumption and defensive reaction. Although it

> does seem to be a popular one among people who may feel outnumbered in a

> group.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

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