Re: Posting too much & daytime problems

[Guest guest]

Hi Melody,

You said:

<<I feel really bad for posting too much, but I'm very frustrated

because both this group and the SSRI-Crusaders group literally go all

the work day without putting up the moderated posts.

I realize that people have to work, but this causes all my posts go

up *at once* and I end up hogging the group. I'm feeling very guilty

over this and I don't know quite where to turn when I need some help

in the daytime.>>

***I understand that this " lag time " can be frustrating. Unfortunately,

there are only a couple of us moderating this list, and we are doing the

best we can do.

One of the most important things you can do to manage this frustration is to

ask yourself, " what would the people on the group say to me if they were

able to read this post right now? " Then, say those things to yourself. You

have all the answers inside of you, just as all living beings are connected

energetically. By communicating with yourself, you are communicating with

all. It's just a little less tangible than seeing actual posts and replies.

There are many other ways to be in touch online when the groups are slow.

You can use private email, IMs with people who have it, and you can always

use the chatroom for this Yahoo group. It would be great if people started

utilizing the chatroom. We have a great group of people here who can offer

each other a lot of support and ideas.

<<P.S. I need help with my marriage re: withdrawal. My husband is

blaming all of our current problems on my withdrawal and he wants me

to go back on meds. I am *not* being *that* awful, I swear. Last

night I cooked him a wonderful dinner and was nice and I'm trying

very hard to be a good wife.

This withdrawal has just become a convenient excuse for him to place

all the blame on me, as he is emotionally dishonest and so intensely

*phobic* of the idea of blame. He always thinks people are trying to

blame him when they aren't. He has a knee-jerk reaction to any slight

criticism.>>

***Just keep reminding him that this IS withdrawal, that it is a process,

that it is time-limited, and the benefits are many. Ask him to be patient

and give you time, and tell him you know he wants to do that because he IS

such a good husband.

You're doing great.

Hugs,

Kim

[Guest guest]

Hi Melody

I for one enjoy and like your posts. I'm not bothered at all by the

number,but in fact get downhearted if no one is writing in.

As for your husband, I go along with Jan. I think he needs positive

attention even if he is going about it in insensitive ways. Find

something to compliment about him, as many things as you can. grit your

teeth and tell him with compliments you love him. It'll get easier when

he sees how much you accept him as he is. Man, it's a bloodbath of put

downs out there in the world. He needs what the bloody psychologists

call " positve regard " / I apologize forthe jargon but that's where i come

from :-).

postive regards,

janet

[Guest guest]

> Hi Melody

> I for one enjoy and like your posts. I'm not bothered at all by the

> number,but in fact get downhearted if no one is writing in.

Bless you Janet and I enjoy yours. I feel a real sister-ship with you.

> As for your husband, I go along with Jan. I think he needs positive

> attention even if he is going about it in insensitive ways. Find

> something to compliment about him, as many things as you can.

I do that a LOT, always. Really. I stroke his ego, & I don't mind.

I figured out today that I'm only " wigging out " with the withdrawal

when I'm alone all day! Figuring out triggers is half the battle!

I've got empty nest syndrome bad, since my daughter moved out. My

husband is on the absolute verge of retiring. It could happen

tomorrow, or a year from now. I'm perfectly fine and calm as long as

he's here.

The waiting is literally driving me bonkers. Sometimes its so bad I

think I'll divorce him and find a man already retired right away.

(Bad logic).

I've got to figure out a way around this. I've tried working and

volunteering part-time but I just have *no patience* for other people

anymore, if they aren't friends/family.

Love ya lots, Janet, will you be my daytime companion? I will pay

well - LOL

Melody

[Guest guest]

Love to be your daytime pal. I'm usually all the time not far from the

webtv as i don't go much of anywhere anyore. no patience like you with

people. I get apoplexy a lot though i'm fine at ahome mostly.

Giood for you on the hubby front butyou're up against a blood thirsty

world that probably does him so much damage at work everyday. Cripes,

the more i hear of the workaday world these days i'm glad i'm a wreck.

:-)

Ufda, have headache and nausea right now. don't know what todo so maybe

goout in the misty rain and walk rather than drive to flea market. Maybe

take an airline barf bag along no?

janet

[Guest guest]

Dear Janet,

You said:

<<As for your husband, I go along with Jan. I think he needs positive

attention even if he is going about it in insensitive ways. Find

something to compliment about him, as many things as you can. grit your

teeth and tell him with compliments you love him. It'll get easier when

he sees how much you accept him as he is. Man, it's a bloodbath of put

downs out there in the world. He needs what the bloody psychologists

call " positve regard " / I apologize forthe jargon but that's where i come

from :-).>>

** I wholeheartedly agree. We humans are easy in the sense that as long

as we feel secure and loved, we can be putty in the hands of the one who

loves us.

As far as the lack of desire for sex and Melody's husband having an

issue with this (with Melody, that is, not Janet, lol). I'm going to be a

little crude here and say I've never met a man who will turn down a hand job

accompanied by a few intimately whispered words of love. <g>

Regards,