RE: (unknown)

September 14, 2009

I think the thing with this disease is that it leaves you so tired, having

to put out all that energy on building a relationship is just too much to

even think about even if you aren't that close to losing your loved one. I

can't imagine having to try to please someone, and unless you find the

perfect person, it can be very stressful and frustrating. There is that

naughty thing too. Just think of all the people up there who might be

watching. lol Jan H

> Di,

>

> I am so so tired of being alone but more scared to have a bad relationship;

>

> Thanks be to God for he creates our tomorrows Love, Lyncia

>

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Date: Sunday, September 13, 2009, 7:57 PM

>

> Diane, thanks for the moral support, and for praying for me. I guess you

> could say, Lord knows I need it. What you were saying about my grandson is

> very true. His Grandmother, my X, is very sick also. He could easily lose

> out on knowing either of us well. He just turned two. My circumstances are

> so much better than some that it annoys me I get on so much self-pity. I

> could, when time comes, look into hospice. I think hospice is for the last

> 6 months. I may be wrong, though. I don't know how far away I am from

> needing a transplant yet. Several doc's gave me 5 yrs. a little less than 4

> yrs. ago. My liver doc would not give me a length, saying he does nor

> forecast the future. I appreciated him for that answer, and the others for

> their honesty. As they say be careful what you ask. I kind of wish now,

> when I asked, the other's would not have told me. I am sure they were going

> by percentage's giving my symptoms. If they

> were correct I am about 16 months away. As I have often thought, since

> their prediction, very few really know how long they have or how they will

> go. Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 6:23:35 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Dave, you have in no way offended me. To say that have faith, without

> question, is certainly far from reality. I have come to a place in my life

> where I rarely allow myself to question God; that has not always been so...

> I struggled with my faith for many, many years through some terribly

> difficult circumstances. I hope I won't offend you by saying I will pray

> for you and ask you not to give up on God. He hasn't given up on you.

>

> That being said, I do honestly care about you and about what you are going

> through. Cirrhosis is hard, just plain HARD. Every day is a journey into

> the unknown and leads us down paths we never dreamed we would have to walk.

> Uncertainly and depression are familiar friends. I do so hope your doctor

> can help you with the edema. BTW, I just wanted to add that you should give

> serious consideration to that transplant. Whether you do it or not, give it

> every chance when deciding. You have a beautiful grandson who would so

> desperately miss his Grandpa, and I'd be willing to bet your daughter would

> sure miss you too! Sometimes, bad things happen to good people so they can

> reacess their lives and make fresh starts.

>

> I'm praying for you Dave!

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 6:13:15 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Diane, this is one of my biggest problems. I do not have a strong belief

> in the here after, religion, etc. I do not want to offend those that do. I

> wish I did, but I don't. I see how much it helps people, but I have not

> been able to grasp the concept. I come from a family that both parents were

> strong believers and they took me to church regularly. I don't know why I

> have had such a hard time with faith. I am not of the belief that the world

> happened in a vacuum. There is a degree of spirituality in me. I'm sure

> you don't want me to go into the usual talk of why bad things happen to good

> people and good things happen to bad people... I just am unable to square

> the suffering people endure with the idea of God having his hand on the

> throttle, so to speak. I hope I have not offended you or anyone. I admire

> your ability to believe without question. I know there is a force of good

> in the universe, and certainly a evil in the

> universe. I know it would help me if I had your faith, but it avoids me or

> I avoid it. Whichever way it is, the outcome for me is the same, lack of

> faith for which I, in the end, pay the price.

> Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:28:49 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Hi Dave,

>

> No, Terry opted not to try for a transplant. He had been at death's door a

> couple of times prior to even knowing about his liver disease. He felt much

> more peaceful about death than dealing with life after a transplant. Also,

> he had a genetic disorder that predisposed him to liver disease. He thought

> it would be selfish of him to ask for a donor liver, knowing his body would

> begin attacking it as soon as it was transplanted, when so few are

> available. It was so hard to sit by and watch him make that decision, but I

> had watched Momma die of renal failure and had seen all she had gone through

> with the dialysis and didn't want to emotionally force anything on Terry

> that he wasn't ready to deal with. I told him I would support him fully in

> whatever decision he made; if he chose to go for the transplant, I would be

> there every step of the way but if not, I would also help him live his life

> to the fullest until the time came for him to go home

> with the Lord. As hard as it was to give him up, I did so knowing I had

> done for him what his heart desired and loved him completely until Jesus

> came for him.

>

> Now that I have cirrhosis as well, I am much in the same boat as

> you. Terry and I had three children who never made it to this world. I

> have two sisters and a niece and four nephews who love me dearly. However,

> I am not comfortable asking them to take on the role of my caregiver as this

> disease progresses. I know how hard that is on the loved one and I don't

> want them to have to go through that. I have already started checking in to

> in-patient hospice care for when that time comes. Whether I will consider a

> transplant or not is something I haven't really even thought about yet. I

> pray about it and just ask the Lord to help me make the right decision when

> the time comes.

>

> Whatever decision you make, please know that I am praying for you. I do

> not look forward to dealing with this disease, but I also don't allow myself

> to worry about it. I simply leave it with the Lord and know He already has

> a plan and all I have to do is submit myself to His will and plan for my

> life. My faith carries me through this, just as it has through so many

> other areas of my life.

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:05:45 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Thanks for writing back Diane..And I am sorry you had to go through this

> with your husband...I know from dealing with close friends and family how

> difficult a progressive fatal disease is on the caregiver and others

> close..if I may ask, did your husband have a transplant? I am wrestling

> with that decision when it comes, and whether to put myself and family

> through that. I don't really have someone I can move in with during the

> recovery process, and would not put that burden on my daughter and her

> significant other. For one there is not room in her house, except a

> finished basement, and I don't see how someone could negotiate the stairs in

> that condition. For another reason her relationship is fragile I believe,

> and that would certainly not help, and though we are civil, we really don't

> care a lot for each other. I know some go into medical centers to

> recuperate and I'm fine with that option, since likely the progression

> either way will put

> me into one, but I still have a lot of soul searching to do about a

> transplant. Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 4:42:49 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Dave, I am so sorry. Dealing with this disease wears so quickly on your

> nerves and makes you so sad, so often. Please know I am praying for you.

> Do make that call to your doctor tomorrow morning, especially since this is

> your first experience with the swelling in your extremities. Terry, my late

> husband, used to swell so badly in his feet that he couldn't walk because

> his feet would actually be rounded on the bottom and wouldn't flaten out,

> even when he was fully weight-bearing. I cannot say I know what you are

> going through from my personal experience, but I do know from having been

> with Terry as he went through it. It is agonizing for you and for those who

> love you. Again, I am so sorry that this has infringed upon your weekend

> with your daughter and grandson. Please update us after you speak with your

> doctor. My prayers are with you.

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 11:59:08 AM

> Subject: (unknown)

>

> I'm sorry I only seem to come here when things are bad, but seems they are

> mostly that way now...what has always been a great weekend when my daughter

> and grandson come up was full of agony for most of my visit...my legs, feet,

> and ankles swelled up so bad I could hardly walk, and my feet hurt very

> bad...finally this noon the swelling has mostly gone down..but I wonder for

> how long? I should call my doc tomorrow, but I get weary of doc's...this is

> a first in my journey of my feet and ankles swelling like this...I thought

> the ascites was bad, but that is more horrific..walking is terrible and just

> laying with my feet up to try and make the pain go away...and knowing things

> will, only progress into being worse...

> Dave

>

September 14, 2009

Barby, I am so praying you will not have to face that for many years to come!

I'm not strong, sweetie; but I do know THE STRONG ONE and it is HE who holds me

up!

Warm Hugs...........

Di

http://auntdisexperimentallife.blogspot.com/

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Monday, September 14, 2009 8:06:23 PM

Subject: Re: (unknown)

i hear ya girl, i dont think i could ever love again after bobby glenn, it would

be wierd like he was up the watching me be naughty lol. i dont know what i am

gonna do when it all ends, i admire your strenghth!!! love you

>

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Date: Sunday, September 13, 2009, 7:57 PM

>

> Diane, thanks for the moral support, and for praying for me. I guess you

could say, Lord knows I need it. What you were saying about my grandson is very

true. His Grandmother, my X, is very sick also. He could easily lose out on

knowing either of us well. He just turned two. My circumstances are so much

better than some that it annoys me I get on so much self-pity. I could, when

time comes, look into hospice. I think hospice is for the last 6 months. I may

be wrong, though. I don't know how far away I am from needing a transplant

yet. Several doc's gave me 5 yrs. a little less than 4 yrs. ago. My liver doc

would not give me a length, saying he does nor forecast the future. I

appreciated him for that answer, and the others for their honesty. As they say

be careful what you ask. I kind of wish now, when I asked, the other's would

not have told me. I am sure they were going by percentage's giving my

symptoms. If they

> were correct I am about 16 months away. As I have often thought, since their

prediction, very few really know how long they have or how they will go. Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 6:23:35 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Dave, you have in no way offended me. To say that have faith, without

question, is certainly far from reality. I have come to a place in my life

where I rarely allow myself to question God; that has not always been so... I

struggled with my faith for many, many years through some terribly difficult

circumstances. I hope I won't offend you by saying I will pray for you and ask

you not to give up on God. He hasn't given up on you.

>

> That being said, I do honestly care about you and about what you are going

through. Cirrhosis is hard, just plain HARD. Every day is a journey into the

unknown and leads us down paths we never dreamed we would have to walk.

Uncertainly and depression are familiar friends. I do so hope your doctor can

help you with the edema. BTW, I just wanted to add that you should give serious

consideration to that transplant. Whether you do it or not, give it every

chance when deciding. You have a beautiful grandson who would so desperately

miss his Grandpa, and I'd be willing to bet your daughter would sure miss you

too! Sometimes, bad things happen to good people so they can reacess their

lives and make fresh starts.

>

> I'm praying for you Dave!

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 6:13:15 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Diane, this is one of my biggest problems. I do not have a strong belief in

the here after, religion, etc. I do not want to offend those that do. I wish I

did, but I don't. I see how much it helps people, but I have not been able to

grasp the concept. I come from a family that both parents were strong believers

and they took me to church regularly. I don't know why I have had such a hard

time with faith. I am not of the belief that the world happened in a vacuum.

There is a degree of spirituality in me. I'm sure you don't want me to go into

the usual talk of why bad things happen to good people and good things happen to

bad people... I just am unable to square the suffering people endure with the

idea of God having his hand on the throttle, so to speak. I hope I have not

offended you or anyone. I admire your ability to believe without question. I

know there is a force of good in the universe, and certainly a evil in

the

> universe. I know it would help me if I had your faith, but it avoids me or I

avoid it. Whichever way it is, the outcome for me is the same, lack of faith

for which I, in the end, pay the price.

> Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:28:49 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Hi Dave,

>

> No, Terry opted not to try for a transplant. He had been at death's door a

couple of times prior to even knowing about his liver disease. He felt much

more peaceful about death than dealing with life after a transplant. Also, he

had a genetic disorder that predisposed him to liver disease. He thought it

would be selfish of him to ask for a donor liver, knowing his body would begin

attacking it as soon as it was transplanted, when so few are available. It was

so hard to sit by and watch him make that decision, but I had watched Momma die

of renal failure and had seen all she had gone through with the dialysis and

didn't want to emotionally force anything on Terry that he wasn't ready to deal

with. I told him I would support him fully in whatever decision he made; if he

chose to go for the transplant, I would be there every step of the way but if

not, I would also help him live his life to the fullest until the time came for

him to go home

> with the Lord. As hard as it was to give him up, I did so knowing I had done

for him what his heart desired and loved him completely until Jesus came for

him.

>

> Now that I have cirrhosis as well, I am much in the same boat as you. Terry

and I had three children who never made it to this world. I have two sisters

and a niece and four nephews who love me dearly. However, I am not comfortable

asking them to take on the role of my caregiver as this disease progresses. I

know how hard that is on the loved one and I don't want them to have to go

through that. I have already started checking in to in-patient hospice care for

when that time comes. Whether I will consider a transplant or not is something

I haven't really even thought about yet. I pray about it and just ask the Lord

to help me make the right decision when the time comes.

>

> Whatever decision you make, please know that I am praying for you. I do not

look forward to dealing with this disease, but I also don't allow myself to

worry about it. I simply leave it with the Lord and know He already has a plan

and all I have to do is submit myself to His will and plan for my life. My

faith carries me through this, just as it has through so many other areas of my

life.

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 5:05:45 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Thanks for writing back Diane..And I am sorry you had to go through this with

your husband...I know from dealing with close friends and family how difficult a

progressive fatal disease is on the caregiver and others close..if I may ask,

did your husband have a transplant? I am wrestling with that decision when it

comes, and whether to put myself and family through that. I don't really have

someone I can move in with during the recovery process, and would not put that

burden on my daughter and her significant other. For one there is not room in

her house, except a finished basement, and I don't see how someone could

negotiate the stairs in that condition. For another reason her relationship is

fragile I believe, and that would certainly not help, and though we are civil,

we really don't care a lot for each other. I know some go into medical centers

to recuperate and I'm fine with that option, since likely the progression either

way will put

> me into one, but I still have a lot of soul searching to do about a

transplant. Dave

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: diane chandler <dianechandler@ att.net>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 4:42:49 PM

> Subject: Re: (unknown)

>

> Dave, I am so sorry. Dealing with this disease wears so quickly on your

nerves and makes you so sad, so often. Please know I am praying for you. Do

make that call to your doctor tomorrow morning, especially since this is your

first experience with the swelling in your extremities. Terry, my late husband,

used to swell so badly in his feet that he couldn't walk because his feet would

actually be rounded on the bottom and wouldn't flaten out, even when he was

fully weight-bearing. I cannot say I know what you are going through from my

personal experience, but I do know from having been with Terry as he went

through it. It is agonizing for you and for those who love you. Again, I am so

sorry that this has infringed upon your weekend with your daughter and

grandson. Please update us after you speak with your doctor. My prayers are

with you.

>

> Warm Hugs........ ...

>

> Di

> http://auntdisexper imentallife. blogspot. com/

>

> ____________ _________ _________ __

> From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

> To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

> Sent: Sunday, September 13, 2009 11:59:08 AM

> Subject: (unknown)

>

> I'm sorry I only seem to come here when things are bad, but seems they are

mostly that way now...what has always been a great weekend when my daughter and

grandson come up was full of agony for most of my visit...my legs, feet, and

ankles swelled up so bad I could hardly walk, and my feet hurt very

bad...finally this noon the swelling has mostly gone down..but I wonder for how

long? I should call my doc tomorrow, but I get weary of doc's...this is a first

in my journey of my feet and ankles swelling like this...I thought the ascites

was bad, but that is more horrific..walking is terrible and just laying with my

feet up to try and make the pain go away...and knowing things will, only

progress into being worse...

> Dave

>

September 14, 2009

I too abhor the being alone, but I cannot face the thought of being with anyone

else in a relationship at this point either. It's a Catch 22 that leaves us

hurting with only one place to turn for real comfort and that is the Lord.

Warm Hugs...........

Di

http://auntdisexperimentallife.blogspot.com/

________________________________

To: livercirrhosissupport

Sent: Monday, September 14, 2009 8:12:51 PM

Subject: Re: (unknown)

Di,

I am so so tired of being alone but more scared to have a bad relationship;

Thanks be to God for he creates our tomorrows Love, Lyncia

From: dave dodds <daveliltoe@ yahoo. com>

Subject: Re: (unknown)

To: livercirrhosissuppo rtyahoogroups (DOT) com

Date: Sunday, September 13, 2009, 7:57 PM

Diane, thanks for the moral support, and for praying for me. I guess you could

say, Lord knows I need it. What you were saying about my grandson is very