Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 yes, I know that now Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 9:44:30 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath > and yet there are many AS people who don't react to tears , or sorrow. I now know to ask my AS hubbie to hug me or that I need comforting. I used to think he was just cold but I have come to realize he just didn't know what to do in those situations.Don't mistake not knowing how to react for being cold. Many times we see the tears and sorrow and are at a complete loss as to what to do, so we do nothing.--Liz------------The Aspie Parent blog: http://aspergerspar ent.wordpress. com/SF, science, and Gifted Ed butons, mugs, and other items at http://www.zazzle. com/CartesianBea r*Higher Quality Adult & kid shirts at http://www.printfec tion.com/ cartesianbear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Lowry wrote: > I feel that NT's on this list are mocked. Really? Certainly not by me, I hope. I'm not any less fond of NTs than I am of AS folks, especially those whose POVs are not very well reasoned. Seriously, why do you feel that NTs (as people) are mocked? Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 I feel that NT's on this list are mocked. Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: "aspires-relationships " <aspires-relationships >Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 10:16:25 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath >>I don't think anyone with aspergers ever feels overwhelmed by emotion, just my opinion. I think its more a case of them not understanding the NT.[ snip impressive credentials AND un-trimmed prior posts ]Mmm. While the NT understands the AS pretty well??- Bill, dx AS; ...skeptical.WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USAhttp://home. earthlink. net/~wdloughman/ wdl.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Why would you think Aspies can't get overwhelmed by emotions? I would think that it wouldn't take anywhere near as much emotion to overwhelm an Aspie as an NT, since us Aspies don't handle emotions at all well! ~ "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryDate: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 17:42:46 -0700 (PDT)To: <aspires-relationships >Subject: Re: on I psychopath I don't think anyone with aspergers ever feels overwhelmed by emotion, just my opinion. I think its more a case of them not understanding the NT. Lowrywww.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.comOwner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog TeamFounder/Owner Kinder Way Canine StudiesBecome a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression ConsultantNEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet SitterNEW!!! Become a Professional Dog GroomerProfessional Dog /Pet SitterProfessional Dog GroomerABTA Certified TrainerBehavior ConsultantAggression ConsultantC.A.P.P.D.TOntario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T.I.P.D.T.ACKCCKC CGN Certified EvaluatorABC Mentor TrainerFrom: D. Pawliczek <adpfrontiernet (DOT) net>To: aspires-relationships Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 8:26:15 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath  Yes. I think there are many persons who don't react to tears or sorrow. In those situations it doesn't necessarily mean they don't have empathy -- may not even mean they don't have sympathy -- they may just be overwhelmed by the emotion they feel. Like, an overload. I don't think this contradicts what I am saying though? Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopathIn my opinion, they are not really two wholly different creatures (sympathy and empathy) but they are steps along the spectrum of emotional development. .. if you have sympathy and compassion, you already have empathy, but the reverse is not true. I see them as on the same spectrum... and agree even psychopaths can have empathy but for them to also have sympathy and compassion it is a higher step on the spectrum they haven't reached, they have been blocked from for some reason. Interesting discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010  : I think that was an important piece of this film. His wife and how his behavior has affected her and others. He may be NPD and now a psychopath but his mission is to allow others to understand there are many like him out there and how they can protect themselves from other like him. Of course he lies like he breathes air which is part of the syndrome. It is all about him. A part of the film I found interesting is when they said a psychopath can spot a victim within 20 seconds and they tested this theory. They showed psychopath's 10-12 second film of 1-12 people just walking and every psychopath indentified the only person that had been a victim in the past by her gait. The message: NEVER walk like this. Just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010  Actually I find emotions to be very overwhelming at times, depending on what else is going on. Also sadness/sorrow/crying are physically painful for me. I learned early in life to avoid crying because it physically hurts. Odd because I can put my hand in very hot water or accidentally bash myself without feeling physical pain but the sadness emotion turns up as physical. In terms of other people having emotions they can be very overwhelming to me also and it is very difficult to express to others what I am really feeling for a variety of reasons. For example recently a friend posted that her daughter in law had a miscarriage, I for the life of me could not express my sympathy to her/them for the simple reason that I have had a miscarriage and it hurts to badly to speak of. I also get overwhelmed by trying to figure out what would be meaningful to a particular person. Because I understand that what *I* want from others is not necessarily what they want from me, that is made additionally difficult because most people need something I cannot give them (hugs) because that makes me feel like I am going to die. (Hugs make me feel like I have a plastic bag held over my head.) So I am trying to come up with something else that would be meaningful. Though there are times when I will give them a hug if I feel they need it bad enough for me to feel like I am going to suffocate. Jennie AS Re: on I psychopath I don't think anyone with aspergers ever feels overwhelmed by emotion, just my opinion. I think its more a case of them not understanding the NT. Lowry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Jennie Unknown wrote: << In terms of other people having emotions they can be very overwhelming to me also and it is very difficult to express to others what I am really feeling for a variety of reasons. For example recently a friend posted that her daughter in law had a miscarriage, I for the life of me could not express my sympathy to her/them for the simple reason that I have had a miscarriage and it hurts to badly to speak of. >> I'm like this too, especially when someone loses a pet. I tap into their grief so much that I have a hard time reacting at all. I fear losing my own fur-kids so much and would prefer not to even think about such things. So I need to force myself to openly acknowledge their pain, yet I'm always uncomfortable. << I also get overwhelmed by trying to figure out what would be meaningful to a particular person. Because I understand that what *I* want from others is not necessarily what they want from me >> Same here, Jennie. I've been told so many times that my efforts to comfort only made that person feel worse. Thus, I've become afraid to do anything at all other than to just sit quietly and perhaps offer a hug while they cry or talk. Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 I wish to know as well. I have many friends locally who are NTs, and each respects me greatly (as I respect them greatly). They (1) know I am very active in the local community, (2) are glad that I don't make any excuses for having both AS and AD/HD, and (3) feel (along with myself) that I have a bright future ahead of me. Many of my NT friends are looking forward to seeing me with a saxophone in my hands in May (and they want to see the picture too). Many times, I feel like I am a NT (when I am AS). I can't even begin to tell people how much I am looking forward to playing the sax (or how many I've already told [too many to count]). To share my passion for smooth/contemporary jazz with fans and a growing fan base over time (because it's the fans who will make me, not vice versa). To look forward and *enjoy* giving interviews with magazines, radio stations, etc. Being in the limelight, as opposed to being in the backdrop. As someone with AS, that is something I wouldn't have been comfortable with in the past. Sounds more like what a NT would be doing (and maybe someone who has AD/HD like me). No reason exists as to why I would want to mock a NT. It's called having respect for others. If I respect others, my expectation is that others will respect me as well. Sounds good enough to me. Sorry to read that you felt NTs were being mocked. > > > I feel that NT's on this list are mocked. > > > Really? Certainly not by me, I hope. I'm not any less fond of NTs than > I am of AS folks, especially those whose POVs are not very well reasoned. > > Seriously, why do you feel that NTs (as people) are mocked? > > Best, > ~CJ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 Thanks , that's why I left the list not that long ago, I felt mocked. Thanks for understanding. Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 12:01:12 AMSubject: on I psychopath  I feel that NT's on this list are mocked. : That is unfortunate and just reinforces that some folks are face blind and lack empathy along with social and good communication skills. Your observation has been shared by many. Let me share a story with you. I am back in college late in life with the addiction studies program for a counselor. One of my classes was GROUPS and that is how to put together a group and facilitate it. A project in our class was putting a proposal together for a group and presenting it to the class. We choose a self esteem group for 4th and 5th graders. The real project was coming together as strangers and making this work on our own time. It was tough as not everyone is going to give anywhere close to 100%. Being a group leader before I REFUSED to step up to the plate and lead and believed this was a group project till the end when I did step up to the plate with another group member who redid our power point and I had our brochure and flyer done by a printer. When it came time for us to present I was shaking like a leaf. I developed a phobia speaking in public and it was self imposed. The BEST part was my team and the students in the class rallied to my side. Two members of my team came beside me and touched my shoulder and said, just breath and when it was over our teacher said, when you came to 's side you modeled what you were presenting and you are my inspiration as you worked though your anxiety. You voice never quivered once and is strong and you all worked as a team. That is what life is all about. You cannot buy support or friendship as it is something that is earned just by our interactions day by day. It is day to day life. It is how we make others feel and who they make us feel regardless of a label. Sorry to ramble, but you struck a nerve. Interesting observation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 I believe i was wrong about that , its just hard sometimes when the one you live with has aspergers and seem so cold at times. I do know that anxiety, fear and anger overwhelm him. Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 11:34:35 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath Why would you think Aspies can't get overwhelmed by emotions? I would think that it wouldn't take anywhere near as much emotion to overwhelm an Aspie as an NT, since us Aspies don't handle emotions at all well! ~"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry From: Lowry <sitdownstay@ rogers.com> Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2010 17:42:46 -0700 (PDT) To: <aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) com> Subject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath I don't think anyone with aspergers ever feels overwhelmed by emotion, just my opinion. I think its more a case of them not understanding the NT. Lowry www.brendaandwaynef amilypetservices .com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer From: D. Pawliczek <adpfrontiernet (DOT) net>To: aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) comSent: Fri, March 26, 2010 8:26:15 PMSubject: Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath  Yes. I think there are many persons who don't react to tears or sorrow. In those situations it doesn't necessarily mean they don't have empathy -- may not even mean they don't have sympathy -- they may just be overwhelmed by the emotion they feel. Like, an overload. I don't think this contradicts what I am saying though? Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath In my opinion, they are not really two wholly different creatures (sympathy and empathy) but they are steps along the spectrum of emotional development. .. if you have sympathy and compassion, you already have empathy, but the reverse is not true. I see them as on the same spectrum... and agree even psychopaths can have empathy but for them to also have sympathy and compassion it is a higher step on the spectrum they haven't reached, they have been blocked from for some reason. Interesting discussion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 what is an POV ? next time I feel mocked I will bring it up and ask the list to explain what is really happening then. Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 11:13:06 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath Lowry wrote:> I feel that NT's on this list are mocked.Really? Certainly not by me, I hope. I'm not any less fond of NTs than I am of AS folks, especially those whose POVs are not very well reasoned.Seriously, why do you feel that NTs (as people) are mocked?Best,~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010  POV = Point of View Re: on I psychopath what is an POV ? next time I feel mocked I will bring it up and ask the list to explain what is really happening then. Lowry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 27, 2010 Report Share Posted March 27, 2010 I may not recognize a lot of acronyms, but *that* one I can explain! POV = point of view ~ "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."--Albert Camus Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryDate: Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:49:38 -0700 (PDT)To: <aspires-relationships >Subject: Re: on I psychopath what is an POV ? next time I feel mocked I will bring it up and ask the list to explain what is really happening then. Lowrywww.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.comOwner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog TeamFounder/Owner Kinder Way Canine StudiesBecome a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression ConsultantNEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet SitterNEW!!! Become a Professional Dog GroomerProfessional Dog /Pet SitterProfessional Dog GroomerABTA Certified TrainerBehavior ConsultantAggression ConsultantC.A.P.P.D.TOntario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T.I.P.D.T.ACKCCKC CGN Certified EvaluatorABC Mentor TrainerFrom: CJ <shahmeranearthlink (DOT) net>To: aspires-relationships Sent: Fri, March 26, 2010 11:13:06 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath Lowry wrote:> I feel that NT's on this list are mocked.Really? Certainly not by me, I hope. I'm not any less fond of NTs than I am of AS folks, especially those whose POVs are not very well reasoned.Seriously, why do you feel that NTs (as people) are mocked?Best,~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 wrote: << No reason exists as to why I would want to mock a NT. It's called having respect for others. If I respect others, my expectation is that others will respect me as well. >> <nod> I'm with you all the way, . I also don't understand why anyone would want to mock an entire group of people. Certainly not all NTs (or any other group of people) are alike, as each individual will have their own biases, prejudices, and likes/dislikes. It's been my experience that when a person asserts that others are contemptuous toward whatever group they represent, what they are really saying is, " Because you don't agree with me 100%, you must dislike/mock/disrespect/whatever all people like me " . This is an erroneous assumption and defensive reaction. Although it does seem to be a popular one among people who may feel outnumbered in a group. Best, ~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 I don't think so Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 7:59:51 PMSubject: on I psychopath  : Maybe it is more being validated then mocked? Just a thought. Thanks , that's why I left the list not that long ago, I felt mocked. Thanks for understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 that's a huge assumption CJ on your part CJ Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 7:28:21 PMSubject: Re: Re: on I psychopath wrote:<< No reason exists as to why I would want to mock a NT. It's called having respect for others. If I respect others, my expectation is that others will respect me as well. >><nod> I'm with you all the way, .I also don't understand why anyone would want to mock an entire group of people. Certainly not all NTs (or any other group of people) are alike, as each individual will have their own biases, prejudices, and likes/dislikes.It's been my experience that when a person asserts that others are contemptuous toward whatever group they represent, what they are really saying is, "Because you don't agree with me 100%, you must dislike/mock/ disrespect/ whatever all people like me".This is an erroneous assumption and defensive reaction. Although it does seem to be a popular one among people who may feel outnumbered in a group.Best,~CJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 thank you Lowry www.brendaandwaynefamilypetservices.com Owner/Head Trainer Dyno Dogs Performing Dog Team Founder/Owner Kinder Way Canine Studies Become a Certified Dog Trainer, Behaviour and Aggression Consultant NEW!!! Become a Certified Dog /Pet Sitter NEW!!! Become a Professional Dog Groomer Professional Dog /Pet Sitter Professional Dog Groomer ABTA Certified Trainer Behavior Consultant Aggression Consultant C.A.P.P.D.T Ontario East Regional Rep C.A.P.P.D.T. I.P.D.T.A CKC CKC CGN Certified Evaluator ABC Mentor Trainer To: aspires-relationships Sent: Sat, March 27, 2010 5:58:51 PMSubject: Re: on I psychopath  POV = Point of View Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] on I psychopath what is an POV ? next time I feel mocked I will bring it up and ask the list to explain what is really happening then. Lowry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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