buying a thought, that might be real

[Guest guest]

hi,

i've been a lurker on this site for awhile, and thought now was a good time to

post. one of my big problems has to do with the concept of buying a thought. i

have had chronic anxiety and panic for many years..(although i dont go into full

panic often, i often feel like i am right on the verge, or worried about going

into panic or having an attack..which is pretty awful anyway).

my anxiety has been very thick lately...not sleeping well, very jumpy,

sensitive to loud sounds, poor concentration, irritable, depressed,

psychological nausea(term i use to describe how sick my mind feels), feeling

like my mind is going to snap,...etc..etc.

i have had CBT therapy in the past, and was introduced to ACT by my

therapist. she has moved away within the last few months, and i have been

without therapy since. im not on medication cause i am med-phobic, and have read

what , Burns, and other professionals have said about the

" real " effectiveness of the meds. psych meds creep me out, and the thought of

taking them actually makes me want to panic.I have read ACT for anxiety, and

have done the exercises.

so, here is where im having a problem with buying thoughts. I DONT KNOW WHO

IS RIGHT ABOUT THE PROPER AND APPROPRIATE TREATMENT FOR MY DISORDER!!. i have

been told by doctors/friends/girlfriend that i am not being treated for my

condition by NOT taking meds. that i am in jeopardy of getting worse(i cant even

imagine)if i dont get this under control. now i dont know who to believe, those

pro meds, or those not.

im scared cause i am buying the thought out of fear that they are right, and

that i will need to take meds, or face serious consequences. and what if meds

dont work either? i wonder how much my mind can take of being in this constant

state of anxiety. I also am buying the thought that i am doing my body harm from

being in this constant state of stress...that im killing my immune system, or

that im going to trigger some awful neurological disorder or something.

can i really get better with ACT, with learning how to accept how awful i

feel? have i just not found the right therapy? i really dont want to take meds,

but the therapy i received up to this point hasnt really helped too much. i

really like ACT, but i havent gotten the results yet i have hoped for.

sorry this post is all over the place, im not doing well

any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

-scott