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Pain and coping

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Good evening everyone,

I just have to vent a bit here. I have been feeling very well emotionally for a

month or so now but last week had a hard day when I could not do something

because of increased pain. This brought me back to calling a friend and craying

again because of so many 30 plus years of pain. I finally have the energy, hope

and happiness I've longed for in years thanks to my psychiatric medications and

new doctors and because of it am ****** because of the pain the added activity

causes. Because my Still's is more active this year, anything that causes

extreme upset, too strenous activity, repeated activity, etc. you know, causes

the pain to be so bad that I am thrown back into depression for at least a

while. My rheumatologist increased my Norco by one a day to 5 but that doesn't

even begin to touch it. He has always been conservative though because too much

pain medication will mean that I will do too much. He has been my treating

rheumatologist since diagnoses in 1977. I don't know what to do. I no longer

will accept being a couch potato and sleeping my life away in depression but can

barely stand the pain. I'm using all my extra treatments such as heat and ice

three times a day and anti-inflammatories. I see him again on Monday. Perhaps

depending on my labs it's time for more medication as in a DMARD? I don't know

at this point. I just spent the last few months grieving for a life lost in ways

and rejoicing in the blessings I have lately that so many others don't. I just

don't want to grow too old hurting every single day! I've never wanted to and

have been doing pretty well. Just not this week. Thank you for letting me share.

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