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Well said Christie,I commend you for articulating your thoughts without having to hurt anyone's feelings.  The truth is, this whole discussion has been childish and as a twenty four year old I am amazed that people can be so immature.  Honestly, at first I thought Carla was being childish for perseverating this post that frankly should be kept off air but then I realized some of you were fueling the fire just as much.Helena, Ivor, and : while your posts may have contained some wit, they contained more hurt.  , I think until you decided to give your "lovely human reaction," your post had a lot that needed to be said.  But you are doing ACT a disservice to say, "ACT has taught me that sometimes following my values involves confronting people, and you really really need someone to put you in your place."  Confronting people to put them in their place is not a value, it is downright mean-spirited; try articulating your needs and wants without wanting to denigrate the character of someone else.  But don't fool or glorify yourselves, you are communicating through a forum of which there aren't even faces to put to names, if you call it confrontation, it is at best a cowardly form.  Moreover, I am pretty sure that with his ACT experience, Russ has discovered ways of standing up for himself.Kate, I do admire your ability to stand up for the underdog, and to answer your question of which I can only postulate: the moderators, one of which is under inquisition, have much better ways of valuing their time, then to try and babysit a thread that has become too thin and tenuous to even have anything to do with ACT.I found out something through this post, so Helena is not completely off.  After Carla posted her fourth post asking Russ for more of an apology then the one that to me, seemed overly adequate, I wrote a lengthy post in which I just railed on Carla for being absurd.  I spent a lot of time on it, I tried to do it thoughtfully and humorously but then I realized that it would be more effective to bite the bullet on the time I spent because I couldn't come up with a reasonable answer for  what would it accomplish?  Well it might alienate someone.  It might gain me favor in the corner of the ring with the ruffians; but is that really what I want to be about: kicking someone when they're already lying on the floor of the ring?  I decided that if I was going to send it, I would send it the following day.  It only took me an hour to realize that I had wasted my time, it would accomplish absolutely nothing.Mark Twain once said, "whenever you're on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect"  So I paused, I reflected, and I realized that one my of values, if for nothing else then that I have better things to do, is not ganging up on someone EVEN IF THEY ARE IN THE WRONG -what's one more voice in the colloseum, screaming at the matador to kill the bull?Carla, you're still not off the hook.  But I did realize something in the vituperative post I was writing to you, maybe what you need is attention, or maybe your going through a rough time, and if compassion is what you want, all you have to do is ask but its time to put a rest to this samsara.What hurts me is that the couple of times I have asked questions on this forum, all of which concerned ACT, I only responses, albeit good ones, from a handful of you, yet some of you will, with alacrity, squander large amounts of time to put someone else down.  Christie is right, things can too easily turn to crap and I think we need to bring it up a notch.  I frankly, would rather not have to sift through the crap, I don't think it is that helpful, but this is a democratic forum and maybe we should take a vote and if people want crap, then that's fine but I think I would fold my cards and find a more educational and insightful site, which would be unfortunate because where else can you find moderators that are actually the writers of the material.  I have spent some time working on another subject that upsets me but it is a different subject and a post that would need to be worded carefully and that I may or may not past.  This is an ACT forum, it is about ACT, so let's keep it about ACT.  Way too often I think posts are made that have no relevance to this forum.  But really, a lot of times I enjoy reading the insightful, thoughtful, and caring comments made by almost everyone.  People, for the most part, really give great support to others.thanks,Jimmy And what has all this taught us, Helena? I have found this thread anxiety-provoking, unnecessary, discouraging, and, yes, mean. We are supposed to be learning about ACT here, about actions driven by values, not by emotion. This list is called ACT for the Public, not CRAP for the Public--I can get that any day and I don't have to bother with a list to get it.Christie> > > > >> > > > > between mindfulness based cbt and act?> > > > > > > > > > I have got myself yet another book, I am raring to go full of optomism> > > as with previous books and yet like other books,(GOOYM, HAP TRAP) will> > > probaly never finish it.> > > > > Hope u r all well> > > > > > > > > > Dawn> > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message.> > > > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > > > > Version: 8.5.421 / Virus Database: 270.14.9/2426 - Release Date: 10/09/09> > > 18:43:00> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message.> > > > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > > > > Version: 8.5.421 / Virus Database: 270.14.13/2432 - Release Date: 10/13/09> > > 06:35:00> > > >> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------> > > > > > > > No virus found in this incoming message.> > Checked by AVG - www.avg.com > > Version: 8.5.423 / Virus Database: 270.14.25/2450 - Release Date: 10/21/09 16:44:00> >>

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