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Thanx for your compassionate replies.

I struggle with self-loathing, and when I'm down I conjure up all kinds

of 'unreal' justifications for it. When I feel better, I see things from

a more positive but equally distorted and fragile perspective.

When I'm able to be mindful, I feel 'myself', but I'm finding it very

hard at the moment. I've even stopped my yoga practice, which I love.

I am prepared to try an antidepressant, but, one with a slight sedative,

as all the SSRI's I've tried have increased my anxiety. I know I want

the sedative to numb my mind a little, but it may help my concentration

- so I have to weigh up the pros and cons carefully. What I really don't

want are mood stabilisers or anti-psychotics.

As I'm an addict, the local secondary mental health team have not been

much help. ACT has been a life-saver, however, and I am committed.

ps.

I've read some interesting stuff recently about disgust being an

autonomous reaction.

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I am not a Dr. - only a Dr. can look at your health history and recommend a

specific medication.

However, there are many different types of anti depressants and anti anxiety

drugs out there. SSRIs are the most popular right now, but they aren't the best

for everyone. I've had success with Wellbutrin/Bupropion which is in a class all

by itself.

There are also non-drug options for helping brains function better. I'd strongly

recommend the book " Chemistry of Joy " by Henry Emmons M.D. He advocates natural

remedies and mindfullness. I really wanted to try his approach, but I lost my

colon 17 years ago and vitamins and minerals don't absorb in my shortened

digestive system.

I am a strong believer in the nature/nurture one-two punch. Disease after

disease, researchers are discovering genetic predispostions with envrionmental

triggers as the source of what ails humans. I find that for me - a combination

of meds and hard work - is what is needed to help me ease my dis ease.

I know meds aren't for everyone so please don't interpret my post as a drug Rah

Rah. I just think it's important to note that SSRIs are just one class of drugs

some find helpful. There are other classes. AND pick up " Chemistry of Joy " for a

facinating look at brain chemistry and ways to tweak that chemistry without

drugs.

Barbara

> I am prepared to try an antidepressant, but, one with a slight sedative,

> as all the SSRI's I've tried have increased my anxiety. I know I want

> the sedative to numb my mind a little, but it may help my concentration

> - so I have to weigh up the pros and cons carefully. What I really don't

> want are mood stabilisers or anti-psychotics.

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