Re: My Mom is now with my Dad

December 23, 2006

Kath

My prayers and condolences to you and your family. Your Mom was saving you

the pain of watching her take her last breath and not being able to do anything

about it. As some of the group will tell you sometimes our LO's do wait

until they are alone to pass.

Hugs and prayers,

Jacqui in So Fl

December 23, 2006

Kath,

My condolences to you and your family. I am so sorry that it has to be at this

time of year. Seems like we have a few who are really sick this year. I don't

remember a Christmas like this. Maybe I just haven't been aware.

All my good thoughts are with you as you plan the Celebration of your Mom's

life.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

My Mom is now with my Dad

I went to see my mom yesterday and she was quite sleepy. The lady that sits

with her on Tuesdays and Thursdays called me on Thursday night to say she had a

little Christmas present (some bread) and then went on to tell me that mom was

very sleepy and they kept her in bed that morning. She thought that if she had

gotten up she might have perked up a bit. I told her I was going in on Friday

and would check things out...

She was very sleepy and out of it when I got there. I had brought donuts and

coffee but her eyes stayed closed most of the time and she drank when I gave her

the coffee but mostly she just stayed quiet. She spoke very softly and I

thought we were going through another sleepy period as has happened before. She

sounded a bit congested but not too bad. She didn't have a fever or anything.

The bread that Mona had left had " disapppeared " so she said that she would bring

some in on Saturday.

I intended to go in and visit with mom but as things go, it was very busy and

I was invited to my sister's in Port Hope for dinner so had to leave Toronto by

3 pm. I decided to wait and see mom tomorrow morning.

We were almost finished dinner when my daughter called. The nursing home had

called and wanted me to call back right away. The nurse said she wasn't doing

well and we should come right away. I explained I was in Port Hope and we were

leaving immediately but it would take an hour to an hour and a half to get

there. I asked why they didn't let me know this afternoon that she wasn't doing

well and she said that sometimes this happens very quickly and that she took a

turn for the worse after dinner. Her breathing was labored and her blood

pressure had dropped. We got there as soon as we could but I already knew it

was too late. She was gone. I wasn't there when she went despite the fact that

I promised her I would be there until the end. My sister and her husband

followed us as well and I called my brother to let him know that the nursing

home had called and that I would call him when I got there to update him.

She was gone. I know that it was for the best. I know that she had suffered

enough and I had told her yesterday that I could see she was tired and that it

was a long haul for her. I told her I was going to Sharon's for dinner but I

didn't really know if she heard or understood. What I do know is that if I had

of been there she would have rallied at least for awhile not wanting to leave

me, for that I am sure. The nurse said she died peacefully, and that she was in

the room when she took her last breath. I thanked her for making sure mom

wasn't alone. Her " baby " was beside her. I am sad that I wasn't there for her

but I know that all in all, it gave her the ability to let go and be free. I

think that saved her from suffering the problems with swallowing and the pain of

pneumonia among other things. She didn't have those things yet.

I had my moment alone with mom while my husband was parking the car. She died

around 6:40 pm (at least that is what I was told) although I suspect that she

might have died before they phoned me. Either way, it doesn't matter. She is

now at peace, finally. It will be a tough Christmas and I am pretty

overwhelmed. The funeral arrangements will be made tomorrow. I wish I could

say that they were already done, but I didn't believe that she was close to

death, in fact I had seen her in much worse a state when she suffered with the

bed sore in the first nursing home.

I don't know why God decided this was the time but I know that it is right. I

am alright. I am deeply sad but I am alright. I brought her doll home and I

will sleep with it tonight. I will return it to her at the funeral parlor and

she will have her then forever. I am thankful for all that she has taught me.

These last few years have been tough. I have learned alot about being a good

daughter and a good person. I have no regrets. I know I did all that I could

for her and I believe she died tonight without me because that is how it was

supposed to be. She protected me from the worst pain by dying without me by her

side. I believe that her mom and my dad guided her and she went with them.

I love her and always will. Forever.

Thank you for all that this group has had to offer and I hope that your LO

goes as peacefully as my mother did. For all of you who came to the support

meetings I thank you and want you to know that you made a difference in my life

and also my mom's as you made me a better caregiver for her. I will likely take

a break from the group for awhile to heal but I do wish you all the best in the

battle against Lewy Body Dementia. My mom has finally won her battle.

I will be busy over the next few days. I think the visitation will be on Wed

Dec. 27 and the funeral on the Thursday the 28 at Giffen Mack in Toronto (near

Main and Danforth). I don't know if I will be able to respond to posts until

the new year.

Thanks for everything.

Kath in Toronto

Daughter of Maggie

born July 25, 1924-died December 23, 2006

December 24, 2006

Dear Kathy,

So sorry for the loss of your mother. My thoughts and prayers are

with you. I am glad that your mother passed peacefully; that is a

blessing. Your mother knew that you were there for her and that you

loved her. That is evident from your writing. I hope that you are

comforted by that.

Take care.

Daughter of Bill, 91

>

> I went to see my mom yesterday and she was quite sleepy. The lady

that sits with her on Tuesdays and Thursdays called me on Thursday

night to say she had a little Christmas present (some bread) and

then went on to tell me that mom was very sleepy and they kept her

in bed that morning. She thought that if she had gotten up she

might have perked up a bit. I told her I was going in on Friday and

would check things out...

>

> She was very sleepy and out of it when I got there. I had

brought donuts and coffee but her eyes stayed closed most of the

time and she drank when I gave her the coffee but mostly she just

stayed quiet. She spoke very softly and I thought we were going

through another sleepy period as has happened before. She sounded a

bit congested but not too bad. She didn't have a fever or

anything. The bread that Mona had left had " disapppeared " so she

said that she would bring some in on Saturday.

>

> I intended to go in and visit with mom but as things go, it was

very busy and I was invited to my sister's in Port Hope for dinner

so had to leave Toronto by 3 pm. I decided to wait and see mom

tomorrow morning.

>

> We were almost finished dinner when my daughter called. The

nursing home had called and wanted me to call back right away. The

nurse said she wasn't doing well and we should come right away. I

explained I was in Port Hope and we were leaving immediately but it

would take an hour to an hour and a half to get there. I asked why

they didn't let me know this afternoon that she wasn't doing well

and she said that sometimes this happens very quickly and that she

took a turn for the worse after dinner. Her breathing was labored

and her blood pressure had dropped. We got there as soon as we

could but I already knew it was too late. She was gone. I wasn't

there when she went despite the fact that I promised her I would be

there until the end. My sister and her husband followed us as well

and I called my brother to let him know that the nursing home had

called and that I would call him when I got there to update him.

>

> She was gone. I know that it was for the best. I know that she

had suffered enough and I had told her yesterday that I could see

she was tired and that it was a long haul for her. I told her I was

going to Sharon's for dinner but I didn't really know if she heard

or understood. What I do know is that if I had of been there she

would have rallied at least for awhile not wanting to leave me, for

that I am sure. The nurse said she died peacefully, and that she

was in the room when she took her last breath. I thanked her for

making sure mom wasn't alone. Her " baby " was beside her. I am sad

that I wasn't there for her but I know that all in all, it gave her

the ability to let go and be free. I think that saved her from

suffering the problems with swallowing and the pain of pneumonia

among other things. She didn't have those things yet.

>

> I had my moment alone with mom while my husband was parking the

car. She died around 6:40 pm (at least that is what I was told)

although I suspect that she might have died before they phoned me.

Either way, it doesn't matter. She is now at peace, finally. It

will be a tough Christmas and I am pretty overwhelmed. The funeral

arrangements will be made tomorrow. I wish I could say that they

were already done, but I didn't believe that she was close to death,

in fact I had seen her in much worse a state when she suffered with

the bed sore in the first nursing home.

>

> I don't know why God decided this was the time but I know that

it is right. I am alright. I am deeply sad but I am alright. I

brought her doll home and I will sleep with it tonight. I will

return it to her at the funeral parlor and she will have her then

forever. I am thankful for all that she has taught me. These last

few years have been tough. I have learned alot about being a good

daughter and a good person. I have no regrets. I know I did all

that I could for her and I believe she died tonight without me

because that is how it was supposed to be. She protected me from

the worst pain by dying without me by her side. I believe that her

mom and my dad guided her and she went with them.

>

> I love her and always will. Forever.

>

> Thank you for all that this group has had to offer and I hope

that your LO goes as peacefully as my mother did. For all of you

who came to the support meetings I thank you and want you to know

that you made a difference in my life and also my mom's as you made

me a better caregiver for her. I will likely take a break from the

group for awhile to heal but I do wish you all the best in the

battle against Lewy Body Dementia. My mom has finally won her

battle.

>

> I will be busy over the next few days. I think the visitation

will be on Wed Dec. 27 and the funeral on the Thursday the 28 at

Giffen Mack in Toronto (near Main and Danforth). I don't know if I

will be able to respond to posts until the new year.

>

> Thanks for everything.

>

> Kath in Toronto

> Daughter of Maggie

> born July 25, 1924-died December 23, 2006

>

December 24, 2006

> >

> > I went to see my mom yesterday and she was quite sleepy. The lady

> that sits with her on Tuesdays and Thursdays called me on Thursday

> night to say she had a little Christmas present (some bread) and

> then went on to tell me that mom was very sleepy and they kept her

> in bed that morning. She thought that if she had gotten up she

> might have perked up a bit. I told her I was going in on Friday and

> would check things out...

> >

> > She was very sleepy and out of it when I got there. I had

> brought donuts and coffee but her eyes stayed closed most of the

> time and she drank when I gave her the coffee but mostly she just

> stayed quiet. She spoke very softly and I thought we were going

> through another sleepy period as has happened before. She sounded a

> bit congested but not too bad. She didn't have a fever or

> anything. The bread that Mona had left had " disapppeared " so she

> said that she would bring some in on Saturday.

> >

> > I intended to go in and visit with mom but as things go, it was

> very busy and I was invited to my sister's in Port Hope for dinner

> so had to leave Toronto by 3 pm. I decided to wait and see mom

> tomorrow morning.

> >

> > We were almost finished dinner when my daughter called. The

> nursing home had called and wanted me to call back right away. The

> nurse said she wasn't doing well and we should come right away. I

> explained I was in Port Hope and we were leaving immediately but it

> would take an hour to an hour and a half to get there. I asked why

> they didn't let me know this afternoon that she wasn't doing well

> and she said that sometimes this happens very quickly and that she

> took a turn for the worse after dinner. Her breathing was labored

> and her blood pressure had dropped. We got there as soon as we

> could but I already knew it was too late. She was gone. I wasn't

> there when she went despite the fact that I promised her I would be

> there until the end. My sister and her husband followed us as well

> and I called my brother to let him know that the nursing home had

> called and that I would call him when I got there to update him.

> >

> > She was gone. I know that it was for the best. I know that she

> had suffered enough and I had told her yesterday that I could see

> she was tired and that it was a long haul for her. I told her I was

> going to Sharon's for dinner but I didn't really know if she heard

> or understood. What I do know is that if I had of been there she

> would have rallied at least for awhile not wanting to leave me, for

> that I am sure. The nurse said she died peacefully, and that she

> was in the room when she took her last breath. I thanked her for

> making sure mom wasn't alone. Her " baby " was beside her. I am sad

> that I wasn't there for her but I know that all in all, it gave her

> the ability to let go and be free. I think that saved her from

> suffering the problems with swallowing and the pain of pneumonia

> among other things. She didn't have those things yet.

> >

> > I had my moment alone with mom while my husband was parking the

> car. She died around 6:40 pm (at least that is what I was told)

> although I suspect that she might have died before they phoned me.

> Either way, it doesn't matter. She is now at peace, finally. It

> will be a tough Christmas and I am pretty overwhelmed. The funeral

> arrangements will be made tomorrow. I wish I could say that they

> were already done, but I didn't believe that she was close to death,

> in fact I had seen her in much worse a state when she suffered with

> the bed sore in the first nursing home.

> >

> > I don't know why God decided this was the time but I know that

> it is right. I am alright. I am deeply sad but I am alright. I

> brought her doll home and I will sleep with it tonight. I will

> return it to her at the funeral parlor and she will have her then

> forever. I am thankful for all that she has taught me. These last

> few years have been tough. I have learned alot about being a good

> daughter and a good person. I have no regrets. I know I did all

> that I could for her and I believe she died tonight without me

> because that is how it was supposed to be. She protected me from

> the worst pain by dying without me by her side. I believe that her

> mom and my dad guided her and she went with them.

> >

> > I love her and always will. Forever.

> >

> > Thank you for all that this group has had to offer and I hope

> that your LO goes as peacefully as my mother did. For all of you

> who came to the support meetings I thank you and want you to know

> that you made a difference in my life and also my mom's as you made

> me a better caregiver for her. I will likely take a break from the

> group for awhile to heal but I do wish you all the best in the

> battle against Lewy Body Dementia. My mom has finally won her

> battle.

> >

> > I will be busy over the next few days. I think the visitation

> will be on Wed Dec. 27 and the funeral on the Thursday the 28 at

> Giffen Mack in Toronto (near Main and Danforth). I don't know if I

> will be able to respond to posts until the new year.

> >

> > Thanks for everything.

> >

> > Kath in Toronto

> > Daughter of Maggie

> > born July 25, 1924-died December 23, 2006

> >

December 24, 2006

Dear Kath,

My condolences to you and your family. You were a great daughter to

your Mom, be proud of all that you did as she was of you. Take care.

, borough, ON

cg to MIL (still!)

>

> I went to see my mom yesterday and she was quite sleepy. The lady

that sits with her on Tuesdays and Thursdays called me on Thursday

night to say she had a little Christmas present (some bread) and then

went on to tell me that mom was very sleepy and they kept her in bed

that morning. She thought that if she had gotten up she might have

perked up a bit. I told her I was going in on Friday and would check

things out...

>

> She was very sleepy and out of it when I got there. I had

brought donuts and coffee but her eyes stayed closed most of the time

and she drank when I gave her the coffee but mostly she just stayed

quiet. She spoke very softly and I thought we were going through

another sleepy period as has happened before. She sounded a bit

congested but not too bad. She didn't have a fever or anything. The

bread that Mona had left had " disapppeared " so she said that she

would bring some in on Saturday.

>

> I intended to go in and visit with mom but as things go, it was

very busy and I was invited to my sister's in Port Hope for dinner so

had to leave Toronto by 3 pm. I decided to wait and see mom tomorrow

morning.

>

> We were almost finished dinner when my daughter called. The

nursing home had called and wanted me to call back right away. The

nurse said she wasn't doing well and we should come right away. I

explained I was in Port Hope and we were leaving immediately but it

would take an hour to an hour and a half to get there. I asked why

they didn't let me know this afternoon that she wasn't doing well and

she said that sometimes this happens very quickly and that she took a

turn for the worse after dinner. Her breathing was labored and her

blood pressure had dropped. We got there as soon as we could but I

already knew it was too late. She was gone. I wasn't there when she

went despite the fact that I promised her I would be there until the

end. My sister and her husband followed us as well and I called my

brother to let him know that the nursing home had called and that I

would call him when I got there to update him.

>

> She was gone. I know that it was for the best. I know that she

had suffered enough and I had told her yesterday that I could see she

was tired and that it was a long haul for her. I told her I was

going to Sharon's for dinner but I didn't really know if she heard or

understood. What I do know is that if I had of been there she would

have rallied at least for awhile not wanting to leave me, for that I

am sure. The nurse said she died peacefully, and that she was in the

room when she took her last breath. I thanked her for making sure

mom wasn't alone. Her " baby " was beside her. I am sad that I wasn't

there for her but I know that all in all, it gave her the ability to

let go and be free. I think that saved her from suffering the

problems with swallowing and the pain of pneumonia among other

things. She didn't have those things yet.