Guest guest Posted December 10, 2006 Report Share Posted December 10, 2006 , and much love to you. I feel you did the right thing, also. Imogene In a message dated 12/10/2006 7:53:51 PM Central Standard Time, skrabek@... writes: Dear Group My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say some prayers today. She left us a the following note: " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half-life she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. Much love from Cresswell ON Canada Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON End Stages LBD Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2006 Report Share Posted December 10, 2006 ... Thank you for sharing with us your decision.... And I couldn't help but feel that your mom spoke to you through her oldest friend. That note will give you comfort in knowing that you made the right choice for your mom -- as your mom would have wanted it to be. Your mom will continue to be in my prayers & thoughts -- as you will... and your sisters... > > Dear Group > > My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our > Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you > all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . > We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used > to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we > cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got > much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but > today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been > helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right > decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and > now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say > some prayers today. She left us a the following note: > > " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that > final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent > so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. > I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic > measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really > is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half- life > she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse > things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It > could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even > at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring > daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " > > I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you > for your thoughts and prayers. > > Much love > > from Cresswell ON Canada > Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 > Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON > End Stages LBD > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 10, 2006 Report Share Posted December 10, 2006 Dear , Please know that I will be keeping you, your Mom and your sisters in my special prayers. I know that whatever your decision is it will be out of love, respect, caring and compassion for your Mom. My best, Carol Incognito > > Dear Group > > My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our > Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you > all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . > We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used > to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we > cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got > much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but > today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been > helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right > decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and > now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say > some prayers today. She left us a the following note: > > " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that > final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent > so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. > I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic > measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really > is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half- life > she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse > things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It > could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even > at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring > daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " > > I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you > for your thoughts and prayers. > > Much love > > from Cresswell ON Canada > Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 > Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON > End Stages LBD > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 Dear , Yes, the days ahead will be difficult. I hope you can find peace in knowing you have made the kindest decision for your mother. You and your family are in my thoughts. > > Dear Group > > My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our > Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you > all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . > We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used > to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we > cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got > much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but > today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been > helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right > decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and > now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say > some prayers today. She left us a the following note: > > " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that > final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent > so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. > I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic > measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really > is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half-life > she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse > things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It > could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even > at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring > daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " > > I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you > for your thoughts and prayers. > > Much love > > from Cresswell ON Canada > Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 > Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON > End Stages LBD > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 Dear Sara, I am glad you have such support within your family and those around you. And that you have all the rich memories of you mother...past and present. May you all be blessed. Take care, Daughter of Bill, 91 > > Dear Group > > My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our > Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you > all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . > We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used > to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we > cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got > much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but > today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been > helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right > decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and > now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say > some prayers today. She left us a the following note: > > " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that > final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent > so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. > I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic > measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really > is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half- life > she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse > things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It > could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even > at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring > daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " > > I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you > for your thoughts and prayers. > > Much love > > from Cresswell ON Canada > Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 > Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON > End Stages LBD > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 , Your post has me in tears. Best to you and your mom. Courage Decision Dear Group My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say some prayers today. She left us a the following note: " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half-life she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. Much love from Cresswell ON Canada Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON End Stages LBD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 I have been reading posts for quite awhile, about 3 years. I have gotten so many ideas and sense of calm from so many LBD caregivers. My mother, dx with LBD/Parkinson's has been in hospital last two days not able to swallow anymore (or just a little, doctors not sure yet, still will do video X-ray. ) Since Mom's heart, lungs and vital organs are all doing well, she might need the feeding tube for nutrition. Doctor has told me not feeding her will cause malnutrition and her organs will break down. Well, I do not want to do that to my Mom, but I think Parkinson's is causing the poor nutrition not being able to swallow. I have experience with the feeding tube and trache with my father passing away in 5/05 and being 18 months on the feeding tube and 5 months on the trache. (He also had a total stroke and skin cancer which he died from). I am very confused and hate to see my Mom on the feeding tube just like my Dad, but she is aware of what is going on and talks to me and the nurses in her whispering voice. She has said she wants to try the tube a little while. I am so hesitant but I think I must follow her wishes and give the tube a go and see what happens, since she has no other current problems but the LBD/Parkinsons. I saw my Dad how when everyone eats in the nursing home he was left in his room because he was on the tube. I saw him get pnuemonia so many times from not being mobile. I am so sad to see my mother do this also. Thank you so much for letting me air my concerns and feelings. I do appreciate this on line support very much. Thank You! Carol B. Elk Grove Vlg IL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 Dear My heart goes out to you. I am uncertain as to my final answer regarding my mother, but I think I will doing to same as you. My mother has been in the end stages for months now and I just pray that God will end it all for her soon. She has taken a turn for the worse this last week and I am trying not to get too caught up in it all. I thinking having your sisters and close friend all in agreement is the best possible thing. It is a decision that non of us wants to make, but are faced with often. I will keep you close in my thoughts and prayers. Dena Mother (84) End stages LBD --- /Ed wrote: > Dear Group > > My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of > life " for our > Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of > the links that you > all sent to me. We especially found comfort in > " Hard Choices " . > We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk > about Mum as she used > to be, we talked about how her life has been > recently. We laughed, we > cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't > think any of us got > much rest last night as we struggled with the > " second guesses " but > today we seem to have found some peace with our > decision. It has been > helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we > have made the right > decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends > (her ex-boss and > now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by > to see Mum and say > some prayers today. She left us a the following > note: > > " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know > how painful that > final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder > to see your parent > so changed from the one you grew up with and love so > deeply. > I commend you for the difficult decision not to get > involved in heroic > measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it > but there really > is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of > confused half-life > she has been living lately. At this stage of her > life there are worse > things than dying and I pray she will just slip away > quietly. It > could take a long time; the human body is > extraordinarily strong even > at the end. You have been and continue to be the > kind of caring > daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " > > I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want > to thank all of you > for your thoughts and prayers. > > Much love > > from Cresswell ON Canada > Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 > Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, > Toronto, ON > End Stages LBD > > ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Have a burning question? Go to www.Answers.yahoo.com and get answers from real people who know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 11, 2006 Report Share Posted December 11, 2006 sarah you have made the hardest decision possible, but the best decision, i had a dnr on my dad as well, he didnt need to suffer and worry like he was. my dad was in permanaet stork or flamingo position as hekept poppping his hip out of joint. ;he had no life not even a quality of life. iahd to stand behind my decision as bad as it hurt. i hate making that decision but i hatedmore seeinghim sufer. you did right my firend hugs, and take care sharn m ---- /Ed wrote: Dear Group My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss " end of life " for our Mother. I brought with me the e-mails and some of the links that you all sent to me. We especially found comfort in " Hard Choices " . We ran the gamut of emotions together. We talk about Mum as she used to be, we talked about how her life has been recently. We laughed, we cried and we have decided to let her go. I don't think any of us got much rest last night as we struggled with the " second guesses " but today we seem to have found some peace with our decision. It has been helpful that her doctor told us that he feels we have made the right decision and by chance one of Mum's oldest friends (her ex-boss and now an Anglican Bishop) heard about it, dropped by to see Mum and say some prayers today. She left us a the following note: " My heart goes out to you and your sisters. I know how painful that final vigil must be for you all. It is even harder to see your parent so changed from the one you grew up with and love so deeply. I commend you for the difficult decision not to get involved in heroic measures. Not only would Maggie not have wanted it but there really is no point in trying to restore her to the kind of confused half-life she has been living lately. At this stage of her life there are worse things than dying and I pray she will just slip away quietly. It could take a long time; the human body is extraordinarily strong even at the end. You have been and continue to be the kind of caring daughters every mother should have. God bless, Ann " I know there will be difficult days ahead. I want to thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. Much love from Cresswell ON Canada Long distance CG to Margaret (Mum) aged 76 Moving to Palliative Care at Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON End Stages LBD -- I am daugher of Leonard, diagnosed May 2004, probably had lbd since 1993,.Dad had a serious fall in 7/05 causing him to hav hip surgery .After that he developed aspiration pneumonia 7/05 with pulmonary embolyis, which he almost died from. He had a 2nd bout of aspiration pneumonia and uti 8/05. He died when his blood pressure fluctuations started dropping without coming back up on 9/25/05, may he rest in peace with his mom and dad, a smile a day keeps the meanies away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 12, 2006 Report Share Posted December 12, 2006 Carol, Thank you for sharing what you are going through with your mother. I would think inserting a feeding tube would be as difficult in many ways as not. Thankfully your mother has been able to express her wishes and I agree, you should go with that. All the best to you both. , Oakville Ont. Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year decline from PDD > > I have been reading posts for quite awhile, about 3 years. I have gotten so many ideas and sense of calm from so many LBD caregivers. My mother, dx with LBD/Parkinson's has been in hospital last two days not able to swallow anymore (or just a little, doctors not sure yet, still will do video X-ray. ) > > Since Mom's heart, lungs and vital organs are all doing well, she might need the feeding tube for nutrition. Doctor has told me not feeding her will cause malnutrition and her organs will break down. Well, I do not want to do that to my Mom, but I think Parkinson's is causing the poor nutrition not being able to swallow. I have experience with the feeding tube and trache with my father passing away in 5/05 and being 18 months on the feeding tube and 5 months on the trache. (He also had a total stroke and skin cancer which he died from). > > I am very confused and hate to see my Mom on the feeding tube just like my Dad, but she is aware of what is going on and talks to me and the nurses in her whispering voice. She has said she wants to try the tube a little while. I am so hesitant but I think I must follow her wishes and give the tube a go and see what happens, since she has no other current problems but the LBD/Parkinsons. > > I saw my Dad how when everyone eats in the nursing home he was left in his room because he was on the tube. I saw him get pnuemonia so many times from not being mobile. I am so sad to see my mother do this also. > > Thank you so much for letting me air my concerns and feelings. I do appreciate this on line support very much. Thank You! Carol B. Elk Grove Vlg IL > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 Dear Courage, congratulations on your new grandaughter. What a joy! I hope all is well. Sorry I am late with the wishes, but I have been having a go of it with Mom...seems like it's the time of year...when it rains it pours...our caregivers group is going through a rough period right now...hope you are pacing yourself with the holidays coming. Isn't that a joke??? Hugs, Carol Incognito > > HI Carol, > > My heart goes out to you and your mom. I just hate the choices were are forced to make. I send you and your mom much strength for the future. > Best > Courage > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 Carol B. -- It's going to be difficult for you -- but I agree with you & the rest that you're doing what's right b/c you're respecting your mom's wishes. My best to you during this difficult time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2006 Report Share Posted December 13, 2006 , Thank you for your support. I appreciate you taking the time to answer. I makes me feel broadened and not alone on these decisions. Thanks again. Carol B. Elk Grove Vlg IL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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