Zoo -- was--Why a firm wants staff with autism

[Guest guest]

Princess wrote:

> Hi Bill,

>

> You may want to attend Autreat one of these years- especiallyy on the

> very last day. Then, we have a great event called the " Ask an NT

> Panel " , in which there are four NTs (often parents of autistic folk),

> and they are willing to let us ask them questions. We are respectful,

[ snip ]

Thanks , for the suggestion. Your heart's in the right place.

I'd be very uncomfortable at such a gathering. From past experiences

(albeit different subject areas entirely) I've learned the limits to

both my tolerance and my self-control.

" I'll try anything once. " Still, " Once burned, twice wary " .

- Bill, dx AS

> *From:* WD Loughman

> *To:* aspires-relationships

> *Sent:* Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:22:31 PM

> *Subject:* Re: Why a firm wants staff with autism

[ snipped ]

> They *never* have responses or questions, privately or by email.

> Rather, only in our quite *public* gatherings (safety in numbers?)

> they may ask questions about my " condition " , ...face-to-face. Sometimes

> others nearby will join in brief discussions.

> These always are *so* circumspect, *so* devoid of interest (for me).

> I can't say they're " fun " : I become a zoo animal inspected by the

> casual (NT) visitor who cares no whit for exotic animals. Other than to

> have seen one finally. Check it off the list?

>

> Well, I do enjoy being the source of *obvious* cognitive dissonance for

> my neighbors: " Ohmigodamighty. .. didntKNOWbuthowcoul d... " <grin>

> I'm at once the known quantity, a *30-year plus respected and valued*

> _neighbor_, " fercrissake. .. " , AND this *newly discovered* ...what?

> *Especially* since I know what they now suspect: There are *others*

> like me in our neighborhood. I can *hear* the mental gears churning and

> grinding over that one!

>

> More fun(?), certainly more interesting:

> As public awareness of autism explodes, and *changes*; as

> neighborhood attitudes change (silently of course <grin>), I have a

> ringside seat watching the results. Favorable I'd say; if still,

> always, circumspect.

>

> People are funny.

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

Hi Bill,When you reach what you feel are your limits, just wear a badge for that which anyone who attends can pick up at registration- I have one as a keepsake- it has a way to make it green, yellow, or red. Green: I want to socialize, but would love it if someone speaks to me first (for those who have difficulty reaching out)/ or/ I am wearing green to encourage anyone who feels like this today, and show them how it's done (of course, many participants don't wear badges).Yellow: I am feeling overwhelmed, so only speak to me if you know me well.Red: I am definitely overwhelmed. Only interact with me in an emergency!Anyone who gets up and walks out and heads for his room is viewed as just doing what he needs to do, as

well. There is often someone who goes completely or nearly nonverbal, and has to borrow assistive technology from soneone else, or ends up spitting out a few words here and there with difficulty- and is fine days or hours later- but if there weren't, that would be OK, too.It is really different there- you would not feel overwhelmed and be thought ill of if you did- we would be OK with that. It feels very safe.That is- I have a friend who is AS, but believes that autism and AS are completely different, and she gets overwhelmed by watching people stim. I think it may be less safe for her. We are all different...I have not quite figured out how to deal with that one. Since seeing people stim does not bother me, she believes that I am really HFA. I think that the difference between HFA and AS is in the eye of the beholder- do you have an opinion about this?To: aspires-relationships Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 10:57:01 PMSubject: Re: Zoo -- was--Why a firm wants staff with autism

Princess wrote:

> Hi Bill,

>

> You may want to attend Autreat one of these years- especiallyy on the

> very last day. Then, we have a great event called the "Ask an NT

> Panel", in which there are four NTs (often parents of autistic folk),

> and they are willing to let us ask them questions. We are respectful,

[ snip ]

Thanks , for the suggestion. Your heart's in the right place.

I'd be very uncomfortable at such a gathering. From past experiences

(albeit different subject areas entirely) I've learned the limits to

both my tolerance and my self-control.

"I'll try anything once." Still, "Once burned, twice wary".

- Bill, dx AS

> *From:* WD Loughman <wdloughman@earthlin k.net>

> *To:* aspires-relationshi psyahoogroups (DOT) com

> *Sent:* Sunday, July 19, 2009 4:22:31 PM

> *Subject:* Re: [aspires-relationsh ips] Why a firm wants staff with autism

[ snipped ]

> They *never* have responses or questions, privately or by email.

> Rather, only in our quite *public* gatherings (safety in numbers?)

> they may ask questions about my "condition", ...face-to-face. Sometimes

> others nearby will join in brief discussions.

> These always are *so* circumspect, *so* devoid of interest (for me).

> I can't say they're "fun": I become a zoo animal inspected by the

> casual (NT) visitor who cares no whit for exotic animals. Other than to

> have seen one finally. Check it off the list?

>

> Well, I do enjoy being the source of *obvious* cognitive dissonance for

> my neighbors: "Ohmigodamighty. .. didntKNOWbuthowcoul d..." <grin>

> I'm at once the known quantity, a *30-year plus respected and valued*

> _neighbor_, "fercrissake. ..", AND this *newly discovered* ...what?

> *Especially* since I know what they now suspect: There are *others*

> like me in our neighborhood. I can *hear* the mental gears churning and

> grinding over that one!

>

> More fun(?), certainly more interesting:

> As public awareness of autism explodes, and *changes*; as

> neighborhood attitudes change (silently of course <grin>), I have a

> ringside seat watching the results. Favorable I'd say; if still,

> always, circumspect.

>

> People are funny.

--

WD "Bill" Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home. earthlink. net/~wdloughman/ wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

,I am not Bill, but I can understand. That is why we need to learn to forgive, I think. (I don't mean ignore, or say that wrong things are OK, by this.)To: aspires-relationships Sent: Monday, July 20, 2009 11:03:44 PMSubject: Zoo -- was--Why a firm wants staff with autism

"I'll try anything once." Still, "Once burned, twice wary".- Bill, dx AS

Can U understand "why" some NT's might feel this way as well?

Just curious.

[Guest guest]

Newland wrote:

>

> / " I'll try anything once. " Still, " Once burned, twice wary " .

>

> - Bill, dx AS/

> //

> Can U understand " why " some NT's might feel this way as well?

Absolutely; of course! Why would you think otherwise?

NTs bleed as readily as me; their blood's just as red.

>

> Just curious.

>

- Bill, dx AS

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

,I am not Bill, but I can understand. That is why we need to learn to forgive, I think. (I don't mean ignore, or say that wrong things are OK, by this.)

I think both sides need to learn this. I was listening to Dr Phil one day (I know, I know) but he said something I could relate to. 99.9% of couples divorce at the wrong time when they are angry. That was true for Larry and me and most couples I have know that have been through the process.

You are so angry that U will use any ammunition to get your way regardless of what side you are on because you really BELIEVE you are the injured party regardless of what any one says. It is part of life and growing up and being caught up in the moment.

I don't have any answers other than it has been 3 years since my divorce and Larry, I and our kids just spent 2 great days together. From my perspective? Who can ask for anything more?

Just me.

PS: Saw the Harry Potter movie today with Cass and Britt and felt this must feel like it to have AS? My kids read all the books and have all the DVD's, but I had no frame of reference even though my ASPIE kids tried to fill me in before the movie. I was totally lost till the end when I figured it out and the movie ended. lol Cass said, I have all the DVD's for you. lol I had no frame of reference which this series is based on. I felt AS in an NT world with the roles reversed. I loved the special effects but had problems following the story line. lol Need to do some Harry Potter research!

[Guest guest]

NTs bleed as readily as me; their blood's just as red. Bill

MAYBE that is what both sides need to hear? We are not that different.

Just me.

[Guest guest]

Princess wrote:

> Hi Bill,

>

> When you reach what you feel are your limits, just wear a badge

[ snip ]

I understand the rules, ...the mechanisms.

> It is really different there- you would not feel overwhelmed and be

> thought ill of if you did- we would be OK with that. It feels very safe.

*My* safety hasn't ever concerned me.

[ snip ]

> I think that the difference between HFA and AS is in the eye of the

> beholder- do you have an opinion about this?

Yes. IMO, There's no *fundamental* difference among and between any of

the labels along the autism-spectrum. " Boundaries " between the labels

are artificial; ...for the convenience of non-autistic people trying to

understand what autism is.

- Bill, dx AS;; ...opinionated

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm