Forgetting Asperger's syndrome diagnosis

[Guest guest]

I have just joined this group and wish to reach out and say thank you to those

who provide information to people like me who know very little about a disorder

that caused such a huge impact on my life and that of my husband. My husband

and I are now separated with no thoughts of returning to the marriage. That

being said, I still love him, and wish him well.

The reason I said Forgetting Asperger's syndrome is because Mark was diagnosed

when he was a young boy. I have seen pictures of him as a young child all look

pretty much the same; a young good looking boy void of any real emotion, no

smiles, no goofing around, just a vacant expression.

His mother is now 85 years of age, and still very protective of her children.

There will be no information given to me by her for sure, and I cannot talk to

Mark right now as there has been too many things said, too many guesses as to

what's wrong, and probably too many wrong interpretations as to what is / has

been going on in our lives and since the separation. ( that makes sense to me

now, finally)

Although Mark took medication for a while as a youngster, aspergers' took a back

seat to the problem child he became as a young adolescent, and it wasn't brought

up again until maybe ten years ago. When he did tell me about it, I thought

maybe the doctors made a mistake, he was very intelligent, a memory for facts

and information like no other person I know, and so goes ignorance.

In the last year, my husband has changed dramatically leading us to separate in

Sept 09.

I have gone over the events again and again, and sought help from a local agency

who allowed a support worker to help me through the rough patches (and there

were a lot of them). Then somewhere in my memory bank came the answer to so

many questions, the diagnosis that had basically been forgotten, Asperger

syndrome.

Right now I need to help myself. I have a lot of anger, hurt, loneliness, and

sorrow to heal. Then I have to forgive myself for hurt I have inflicted upon

him. But deep down inside, I want to help him. He is the man I fell in love

with, father of my children, and person I shared my life with.

Thank you for allowing me to join, I hope to gain some peace of mind, and be

able to give peace to others.

Mil S